Next "Music For Dancers" master class: Sat, July 11th

The next "Music For Dancers" master class is this Saturday at noon (July 11th).

Thanks to the feedback from previous attendees, this class is now monthly on the second Saturday every month.

Location & Details:
Saturday, July 11th @ Noon (90 minutes)
The Granada
17 S. First St.
Alhambra, CA 91801

Master classes are usually $25 at the Granada, I've cut a special deal with them so this series is $20. It may change in the future.

MAP: http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&q=17+South+First+St.,+Alhambra,+CA&ie=UTF8&z=16&iwloc=A

IMPORTANT: We do NOT dance in this class. You learn how to tune your ears so your dancing will reflect more of the music. You can't dance to music you're not hearing.

Everybody can develop a deeper connection with the music.

More details on my Facebook event:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=95547525804

Musical Pulse: Explicit and Implicit (Part 2)

This is part 2 of a series. I recommend you check out the first article before reading this one. Additionally, this article may include a couple musical terms that unfortunately remain undefined. I avoid doing that, but sometimes it happens for space considerations. Feel free to ask questions if anything is unclear.

As we discussed in Part 1 of this article, dance music has a pulse behind the scenes. Sometimes the music is very explicit, but just as often, the musicians are feeling the pulse, even if they don't beat you over the head with it. Please go back and listen to the example links in Part 1 if you haven't heard them in a while.

This article focuses on "implicit" or "implied" pulse, where the pulse is still consistent behind the scenes, but the musicians don't mark each count of the music. This is a more advanced concept and many people won't hear the implicit pulse without some simple one-on-one training and lots of practice.

Once you know the pulse exists and hear it in some tunes, it becomes more obvious across a wider range of music. It's always there ticking behind the scenes; it's a matter of figuring it out and connecting the dots with the clues the musicians give you. Dancers use this implicit pulse to provide a stronger connection with the music.

Many tunes have sections that are explicit and others that are implicit, and musicians are free to mix as they see fit.

A similar concept is a clock with a ticking second hand. A clock can be silent (implicit), but there is still a pulse 60 times per minute as the second hand moves from one second to the next. Some have an explicit tick-tick-tick sound every second, marking the time in perfectly spaced intervals. Whether you hear the ticking each second or not, the seconds are still ticking by at regular intervals. There is EXACTLY the same amount of time between each second ticking, and on some clocks you can hear each second tick and some clocks are silent.

Music is similar, with the pulse being more or less obvious, depending on the tune.

A Clock With Second Hand Pulsing Each Second


(OK... for the purist; modern electronic clocks often use quartz crystals which vibrate/pulse tens of thousands of times per second. They use electronics to count the pulses and group them into seconds (or fractions) for the display. For our discussion, we are interested in the consistent pulse occurring each second.)

When recording music, some musicians have a "click track" playing in their headsets that is NOT heard in the final recording. This is like a ticking clock or consistent cow bell, generally adjusted to click at the quarter note pulse of the music. The click track provides a reference pulse while recording, keeping the musicians perfectly on time, even if no drums or percussion are playing.

Drummers and some others in the band use the click track as an absolute reference for the underlying pulse of the music. As a listener you don't hear the click track, but it's often a silent partner in the recording process.

When you hear the Usher tune below, there is a beautiful guitar and voice introduction, with 8 bars (measures) of implicit pulse. There are no drums or percussion marking the time, but the musicians are all counting it in their heads. It's highly likely the guitarist had a click track playing in his headphones, and if you march in place to the music you'll see it's perfectly in time.

Usher - "How Do I Say" Introduction Has Implicit Pulse


The pulse is consistent from the beginning to the end of the tune, even if it's not explicit in the first 8 bars. Musicians will often say, "Time is running," to alert the other musicians that the pulse is constant, like a clock, even if nobody is playing the pulse directly.

Some tunes start with an introduction in which time is NOT running, and the musicians speed up and slow down, until the introduction ends, then time is running constantly the rest of the tune.

The end of a tune is another place it's common to ignore the pulse; musicians will often slow down the last few notes for emotional effect, effectively ignoring the pulse as it ends. Musicians can ignore the pulse in the middle of tunes, but that is very, very rare in dance music.

IF you have enough experience with music, the pulse will be obvious in the first couple of bars. In the last couple bars of the intro the guitarist "lays back" and makes it feel like he's slowing down, even though the time remains perfectly constant as it resolves into the next section. In other words, time is running from the first note of the introduction for this example, and it never stops.

Don't be bothered if you have to listen to the introduction over and over to get it right. I've heard the tune over 140 times this month, and I'm still finding new things I didn't hear before. (Great music has depth, and you'll hear new things over time.)

I could hear the pulse in the introduction the first couple times I heard it, but I had to listen to it again to verify I was right about time running from the start. It's normal to hear something, then listen again many times to confirm your gut feel about the pulse.

Musicians (and dancers) are not slaves to the click or the time; they are free to play ahead or behind the click if they want that feel, but they use the pulse as a "home base" and return to it most of the time. If they get too far off the pulse, speed up or slow down, that doesn't work for dance music.

Unlike the tunes in Part 1 of this article, the Usher drum track is a bossa-nova feel, with the bass drum playing a consistent groove which marks count 1 regularly, but dances around the pulse for a totally different feel compared to the explicit pulse examples.

An excellent strategy when you can't find the pulse in one part of the tune is find another similar section where the pulse is clearer. It's normal to find a very clear section in the middle or end of a tune and use that as a guide for figuring out earlier sections of the tune.

Master the pulse in the easy section, then go back to the introduction or the part that is unclear to you, and you'll have a much stronger chance of hearing the details. For example, I like the section from around :45 to 1:18 to figure out the underlying pulse.

If the pulse is not clear in that section of this tune, it probably won't be clear anywhere. You may find another section which is clearer to you. If you are new to finding the implicit pulse, this tune may be too complicated as a starting point.

In "How Do I Say," the shaker player is actually marking the pulse more clearly than any other instrument. He's louder or quieter in different parts of the tune. Check out the shaker player between the 1:07 to 1:17 marks, where his playing is more obvious.

He is playing on each of the dancers' 8 count, but emphasizing the red colored counts below, which includes the pulse plus some variations. (For musicians: he's playing the eighth notes, accenting the quarter notes 3 times, then accenting the 8th notes 3 times as he comes around to 1 again.)

Dancers' 8 Count (red number are accents):
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,1 ...

Musicians' Count:
1 & 2 & 3 & 4 & 1 & 2 & 3 & 4 & 1 ...

It's subtle and you may need to download this tune and hear it with ear buds and/or quality speakers to hear the details. (The YouTube sound quality is OK, but doesn't compare to the CD version.)

In musicians' count, the pulse of this tune is on 1, 2, 3, 4, even though each count isn't explicitly marked by the musicians.

If you are unfamiliar with the sound of the shaker, here's a clip from one of the leading drum/percussion companies, showing shakers. Notice that the percussionist can emphasize (accent) different patterns as he's playing.

Shakers from Remo


In the Usher tune, the shaker player is playing the same pattern throughout the tune (with minor variations), but because the drummer is also playing a complimentary pattern on his hi-hat, it's much harder to hear the shaker player alone. Their patterns fit together like a puzzle and it takes really advanced ears to break them out at points. The producer brings the shaker volume up in the section referenced above, and has him more in the background (quieter) during the rest of the song.

If you hear the shaker player and you hear the variations he plays, you know your ears are stronger than most. Many people reading this will not hear the details because their ears are not mature enough yet, and/or they need to hear the tune on a better sound system.

For some additional fun, figure out if the introduction is played by 1, 2 or 3 guitars. I thought I had it right the first time I heard it, then changed my mind after about 50 listenings. If you're a musician this will be more obvious, but most people will need to listen to the introduction 20 or more times to be sure they have the right answer. The proper answer is either 1, 2 or 3, so I'll at least give you a 33% chance of guessing correctly. (Guessing isn't the idea; please answer the question when you are willing to bet $25 on it... )

For my clave-aware friends, "How Do I Say" has implied clave until the drummer becomes more explicit with the clave pattern later in the song. (Implied clave is also beyond the scope of this article, but listen to the tune and you'll hear the cross-stick snare drum playing most of a 3-2 clave.)

Because implicit or implied pulse is a more advanced concept, I'll provide another example or two in "Part 3" of this series. Few people will get this concept with one song, unless they have prior music experience. If you're not getting it, the question is, can you hear the pulse during the main body of the tune?

Now that you know implicit pulse is behind all dance music, see if you can figure it out in tunes you like. Start with simple music before attempting it in more complex music like salsa.

More examples in Part 3. Let me know what you're hearing in your favorite tunes.

Related Articles:
Musical Pulse: Explicit and Implicit (Part 1)
Listening to Music 100 Times or More

Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
--Jackie Mason

Michael Jackson: "Rock My World"

As a quick follow-up to last night's post, here's the salsa version of one of Michael Jackson hits. While many salsa purists don't like these "pop-salsa" tunes, I think they are a great way to introduce people to the genre. Personally I enjoy dancing to the cross-over hits, but a wide range of music works for me.

You Rock My World (Salsa Version)

Michael Jackson: A Little Cross Training

Like most my age, I've listened to Michael Jackson's (MJ) tunes thousands of times. Of course, being just about the same age, it's sad to see him go so young. I don't usually write about MJ, but since he passed yesterday, obviously now is the time.

I love his producer (Quincy Jones) during his greatest hit years, and as a dancer it's easy to see his heavy influence on current dancing. His musicians were always first class, and even "simple" tunes were always executed with extreme finesse.

It's hard to find a current professional dancer who doesn't attribute some of their moves to MJ, especially among the hip-hop crowd, but I also see plenty of cross-over into the partner dancing world.

Many of his younger fans don't realize that Michael Jackson crossed-trained traditional dances before his own style emerged, and this is also a good idea for anybody else working toward above average dancing.

Here's a couple clips of MJ tap dancing as a young adult. The first one is with the Nicholas Brothers, recognized among the great and heavy influences of today's dancers. They make it all look sooo easy.

Michael Jackson with the Nicholas Brothers


More Michael early dancing


Of course, most of you know MJ is one of the original "Music Video" performers and he set the standard for years with his early MTV videos. Few have been as influential in the dance and music industry. While many of his moves look dated today, he did them long before many others, setting the standards which others have built on over time.

Here's a collection of his later dance moves

Musical Pulse: Explicit and Implicit (Part 1)

I'm teaching at my "Music For Dancers" master class, playing a simple example and discussing the "pulse" of the music, one of my terms for "the music's heartbeat." Sometimes people just call it the "beat" and you'll see people tapping their toes to the beat or clapping. A very smart lady asks, "OK... can you be more specific about the pulse and how do I hear it..." She continued, "How do I know I have the pulse right, what am I listening for..."

The question caught me off guard because I've been teaching this dancers' music class for over 4 years and nobody ever asked that question directly. I gave her an answer, but I didn't feel it hit the mark and completely clarified the issue for her.

On the drive to a club that evening, it bugged me that I didn't make it clear as day for her, so I rethought how I'll teach that in future. I had one of those "ah-ha" moments, realizing that the pulse in the music can be broken down into two extremes: Explicit and Implicit (also known as "implied".)

Most songs are someplace in between, but the pulse is like our internal heartbeat; always there even if we can't hear it or feel it without some effort. You can think of it like a second hand on a stopwatch, ticking at regular intervals, or the click-click-click of a metronome. Even if your watch is silent, the seconds are ticking by at regular intervals, just like the pulse in music.

If you hear it clearly in the music because it's obvious and marked by an instrument, it's explicit. Watches or clocks that tick or click out loud every second make their pulse obvious and explicit. In the music, explicit pulse can be marked by the bass drum, cow bell, piano or other instruments in the band. Usually the pulse is marked by one or more of the percussion instruments, but not always.

An implicit pulse is like your silent watch, where the seconds are ticking by, but maybe it flashes every second, or sometimes just changes time once per minute. Even if you don't see or hear the seconds pulsing by, they are always happening in the background. In the implicit case, you learn to hear and feel the pulse, even if it is not obvious at first.

Just because many people can't find the "one" in some songs, the vast majority can at least hear the pulse in a listening session, even if they lose it while dancing. This is especially true in what I call "commercial" music, which is the popular music played on the radio.

That said, there are also a wide set of people that simply don't hear the pulse, and the reality is finding "one" is extremely difficult if you don't hear the pulse clearly. The pulse is a critical step toward hearing musical timing and without it you'll be considered an "off-beater" until you get it right.

I realized I had a couple perfect tunes in my collection where the pulse is being explicitly pounded out on the bass drum from the start to the end of the tune. The first tune is by "Ne-Yo" and few people expect his tunes in my playlist. (I'm a little older than most of his fan base.) He fits happily within my wide range of musical tastes and I like the song.

The song starts with 8 bass drum beats BEFORE the intro starts (OK... for the purists out there, there are some pickup notes before the other instruments join in...) That bass drum pulse continues throughout the song, like an old 1980's disco tune. It never stops; it marks the pulse from beginning to end and you can count from one to four (musicians' count) over and over on each bass drum hit and that is the pulse for this tune. Alternately, you can also count a "dancer's 8 count" (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8) and the bass drum hits on 1, 3, 5, 7 from the beginning to the end of the tune, with the 2,4,6,8 equally spaced in-between each bass drum note.

It's a sexy video, and it can't be embedded so click here to see the YouTube of Ne-Yo singing "Because of You."

Few tunes these days have a bass drum on EVERY count from beginning to the end. In salsa or other dance music, it's rarely this clear or obvious but there are many other tunes with this same concept, especially music from the disco 80's.

Another example I like is the 1980's hit called "Forget me Nots" by Patrice Rushen. Will Smith did a cover of this tune for the first Men in Black movie. (There's a fun dance sequence toward the end.)

Be sure to listen to the original above, but the movie version is embedded below as a secondary reference. The pulse is clearer in the original version, and the bassline is a classic, take no prisoners groove that still challenges bass players today. (Originally performed by Freddie Washington.)

SIDE NOTE: To get a taste of the bassline, watch this clip, then listen to the original and you'll hear the amazing bass on the tune. This is a great ear training exercise and worth your time. The bass sounds are often used to verify your concept of "one" in salsa tunes. You want to be sure you're hearing the bass players in all music, and going back and forth a few times between the two links helps you hear the details. Again; A very valuable exercise. More on that another day.

Will Smith: From Men In Black - Explicit Pulse


Many tunes are a combination of explicit and implicit pulse, with some sections making the pulse more obvious and others dancing all around the pulse. The musicians (and experienced dancers) are hearing the pulse in their heads, even if it's not being explicitly expressed in the music. (You'll hear some great examples of implicit pulse in part II of this article.)

The Ne-Yo and Patrice Rushen tunes linked above have a very explicit pulse, so if you just follow from the beginning, it's pretty difficult to lose once you hear it. That is the right starting point for many people who are not hearing the pulse in salsa tunes. Master these simple tunes (in terms of pulse) and it will make it easier as we explore "implied" pulse in part II of this article.

Please let me know if the pulse is clear on these tunes and send me any questions you have from listening to the tunes. Part II of this article will cover implicit pulse and further refine our concept of pulse in the music.

Guys: Protect Your Partners

A few weeks ago at my favorite Saturday club, it was hot, crowded and intense with arms flying and dancers spinning frantically all around us. The place was pulsing with energy and I grabbed an attractive lady who was standing next to some guy who wasn't dancing.

We carved out a little space in the roaring crowd. She was an above average dancer with some jazz background but was relatively new to salsa. I had never seen her before but we had a great time.

Right after the dance she said, "I had so much fun dancing with you. You were the first guy who made me feel protected. Hope we get to dance again."

I was almost embarrassed by the way she said it. She wasn't "into me" or anything, as she introduced me to her boyfriend a minute later and I haven't seen her since.

I realized I had not done anything special, but because the place was crowded, I went into my "small dancing, defensive driving, protect my partner" mode. In a few cases I gave up my patterns or my footwork to make sure she was safe from the vultures circling around us.

A couple hours later the club closed at 3am and I went outside. She was there with her boyfriend and the three of us talked outside. She said really liked the club, but wished the guys would pay more attention.

She continued, "I had to ask one guy to quit throwing me into others. I kept getting hit, but he was dancing big and ignoring the people around us. He kept spinning me into another couple. With you I felt like I could 'dance' since you were taking care of me and watching for others."

Now frankly, I didn't do anything real special with her other than stop moves that might put her in harm's way, and clearing space for her during our cross-body leads. I was driving defensively, trying to be sure she didn't need to worry about being hit. I changed my slot several times based on the people around us, and I was dancing smaller than I would otherwise. I realized the other guys she danced with had simply made me look MUCH better because they didn't protect her or even make an effort to keep her safe.

I used to hate to dance in a small space, as I've matured I've learned to deal with it and make the most of it. The one thing I hate is when my partner gets hit. Even if it's not my fault, I still hate it, so I've developed a defensive mindset toward my partners. I'll take the hit if required, as long as she doesn't have to. Our job as a lead is to get her feeling comfortable and feeling like she can dance without worrying about the others around us.

If I have a very rude guy around me, and he keeps throwing himself or his partner into our space, I turn my back toward him and slowly back into his space until he gets the idea that he needs to respect my space. I've been hit a few times, but I'll take that if if protects my partner.

I used to always back off, but some guys only respect strength, so on a few occasions I'm quietly aggressive about moving into their space until he gets the idea. I don't know if I recommend that for younger guys. Being older and gray I'm subtle enough about it I suspect they simply think they don't want to get in a fight with an old guy, so they get out of my way.

From my experience, leads can prevent about 90% of our partners getting hit, stepped on or otherwise abused by the dancers around us. It all starts with you thinking about protecting your partner from harm, doing shoulder checks (looking over your shoulder before some moves) and developing a sense for the dancers around you. Stop moves if you have to, and don't be afraid to change your moves or put your arm out to prevent someone from running into your partner.

It isn't something I could do the first couple years I danced. As your dancing matures, you should think about defending your partner, even if that means simplifying and/or stopping your moves at points.

It's not always easy and nothing works 100% of the time, but every guy can do this if they think about it when in the middle of a crowd. It isn't about great moves, or complex patterns, it's about a protective mindset and being flexible to alter your game plan if it looks like your partner is in harm's way.

You do have to think about it at first, but it simply becomes another aspect of your dancing after a while.

Leads: Let us know what you are doing to protect your partners.
Follows: Let us know your stories about both good and bad experiences in this area. What could the leads do to make you more comfortable when it's crowded?

There is no such thing as "fun for the whole family."
-- Jerry Seinfeld

The Irony of Teaching Music

A female instructor friend of mine says, "Yea, but the people who really need your music class won't attend! They think they 'feel it' but don't realize they have it so wrong."

She's restating the "they don't know what they don't know" syndrome, which is big among a large set of social dancers.

I had to agree. Many dancers have invested years building their movement skills, but never learned enough about the music to make it one of their partners in the dance. They get it right some of the time because they've heard the same tunes over and over, but they don't know how it really works.

When you hear the music well, it's obvious they aren't hearing it because so little is reflected in their dancing. They have great body control and patterns, but are missing one part of the excellence equation.

I respect these guys for their effort and movement accomplishments, but sometimes feel bad because much of their effort is wasted. When they dance off the time, blow through the obvious breaks, endings and major feel changes in the music, the stronger partners get frustrated at points but often just hang on and make the most of it.

If their patterns are interesting, their partners often make the most of that and step up to the challenge of dancing without following the music. Most will tell you that's not dancing, that's an aerobics class.

None of their partners are going to tell them, because some aspects of their dancing are way above average. (See my article titled, "Better Dancing, More Partner Lying" for details.)

My challenge to you: How do we reach those people? I don't have great answers except I'm obviously putting my effort into teaching the music. But that doesn't mean those who need it the most will attend. So how do we get the word to them?

I suspect the answer is we don't, but instead focus on the ones who seek out the music information. That said, I'm looking for more ways to reach those dancers, so let me know your thoughts on making that happen.

Related Articles:

• Better Dancing, More Partner Lying
• Unaware Club for Men

Master Class: Music for Dancers - May 17th

If you're in the LA area, please SAVE THIS DATE:
Sunday, May 17th @ 2 pm.

I'm very proud and humbled to be teaching a master class at The Granada (Alhambra CA).

My passion is helping dancers get more from the music. You'll hear music differently after this workshop.

"Music for Dancers" gives you a deeper connection and a new perspective on the music. Enhance your dancing by mastering the structure, timing and feeling of the music.

Feel the music, and know it too!

Hear things you've never heard in the music, and learn structured approaches to enhancing your existing musicality.

Includes: Finding "one" and predicting musical hits, breaks and endings.

This 90 minute class provides the foundation for taking your dancing to another level.

All levels: Beginner to professional dancers and instructors.

Excellent for partner dancers AND dancers who freestyle.

Music is music, and the principles in this workshop apply to salsa, hip-hop, R&B, swing, jazz and almost any other dance music.

The example music covers a wide range of styles, from hip-hop, R&B, salsa, latin-jazz and even a heavy metal tune. Once you hear the principles, you can apply them to YOUR music, no matter which style.

I have over 70 tunes in my class play list (we never get to all of them), each included because they clearly illustrate a principle or two.

Questions: E-mail me at: DonBaarns AT Hotmail .com (Change the "At" to @ and remove the space before ".com")

Please feel free to invite other dancers, including salsa, swing, hip-hop and jazz/modern dancers. Anybody who wants to dance to the music is welcomed.

Master classes are usually $25 at the Granada, but I've worked with them and got it down to a special for $20 this time.

Address:
The Granada
17 S. First St.
Alhambra CA 91801

MAP: Click Here For Google Map

Slow Learner? Not Really

“Why doesn't that work for me?”
“Why do all the other kids look great and I’m struggling?”
“If I was 19 again, this would all be easy.”
“I guess I’m a slow learner, or I’m having a bad hair day.”

Ever feel silly or self-conscious in a class?
Does it seem like others are getting it faster, and you're the only one confused?

I used to think I was just slow, or maybe just slower than most of the other guys in class. Maybe you've felt the same way at points.

The instructor would show a pattern, move, or series of steps and I was confused. Sometimes I wouldn't get it during class. Other guys around me would get the moves, but I'd be missing something and feeling a little foolish. There was a glitch in my matrix, and I'd be shaking my head wondering what's wrong with me. Of course, the more I noticed the others getting it, the worse I felt.

As I’ve matured, I worry less about getting it the first time. Even if the moment isn’t fun for me, I know I'll get it at some point. Talent is wonderful, but persistence and repetition are often the difference between no-go and making it happen.

After a nap, or the next day, or seeing it the second time, and/or working the move slowly, I often have that "ah-ha" moment. Then it works for me and often wonder why it was so difficult the first time. Even with my teaching background, it's not always easy when it seems like everyone around me is getting it faster. In the heat of learning mode, some movements simply don't work for me initially.

The funny thing is that after a few months, I’m often farther along than the other guys who had it from day one. Many "got it" in class or sooner than me, but they missed the details and the finesse.

We’re all in the same boat. Some patterns or moves "feel right" in the beginning, and some go against your grain, requiring more time and effort to learn. For most, it's about relaxing and getting what you can the first time, then doing it again later, and later again if required. Competing with yourself is the best course of action, rather than worrying about how others are progressing.

Some moves take minutes, some weeks or much longer. A few may require reviewing or strengthening your fundamentals and take months or years to master. However, once you have them, they are yours forever.

Over time, "harder" moves become much easier as long as you continue to grow.

Persistence, a decent attitude, more repetition and constant learning means you'll dance better tomorrow than today. Slow or fast learner, as long as you don't quit, it works out over time.

Let me know what you do to keep the right learning perspective.

Guys: Don't Miss the Grooming Boat

I see one of my favorite dancers and grab her between tunes while the band isn't playing (I'll call her "Julia") Before the song started, Julia blurted out, "Why do some guys have long sharp nails, and then dig them into your hands?" She was rubbing her hands trying to take away the sting from the last dance and she continued, "I was so bothered with this last guy, I finally had to tell him how much it hurt!"

"Some guys just don't get it" she complained, "trim your nails before dancing, and don't dig your fingers into our hands..." I could tell she was a little upset, and it was out of character for her. (I immediately looked down at my fingers, hoping I remembered to trim this evening.)

As guys we can have great moves, but if we miss the grooming basics, we blow the whole dance. Don't make the same mistake this guy made. It's clear to me that Julia wasn't thrilled by his grip, but if his nails weren't excessively long and scratching her, I doubt she would have said anything.

Julia is a friend, long-time salsa instructor, and someone I love dancing with anytime she is available. She's a strong, experienced dancer with a wonderful attitude. I don't remember her complaining before, and I'm sure if I was a stranger she would have kept to herself. It was like she had to tell someone or she would explode, and she knew I was the right person due to our history.

As an instructor, Julia is used to dealing with leads at all levels and I've seen her be an angel with guys who were off-time, rough, or just figuring out how basic worked. Lots of guys don't realize she can lead much better than they do. She usually goes with flow and making guys feel good about their growth, even if they're total beginners.

If she's bothered, we should take notice.

I think you get the idea that it makes sense to keep your finger nails short if you social dance. (Verifying that your grip is comfortable and not digging into your partners hands wouldn't hurt either...)

At a minimum, you should put a pair of nail clippers in your car, probably a nail file, breath mints, extra deodorant, and maybe some light cologne. Checking your nails before dancing should be part of getting dressed and grabbing your car keys before going to the club. If you miss that, check them on the drive, and fix them if appropriate.

Get over the "nail files are for girls stuff." The files take off the rough edges and some clippers leave your nails sharp, even though they are shorter after clipping. File off the rough edges; it takes all of 30 seconds and your partners will indirectly appreciate it.

The fact is they won't notice if it's right, but like bad breath, when it's wrong it's a major negative and you will be remembered for all the wrong reasons.

Since we are on the subject, don't offend women with things we can easily fix. Being prepared is half the battle.

In my case, I have a gym bag that I throw in the car every time I go dancing. It's my shaving kit on steroids. It's evolved over a few years and sometimes you'd think I was preparing for an earthquake or camping trip. It has all my grooming essentials including breath mints, gum, electric razor, an extra shirt, socks, hair spray, brush, undies, alternate shoes (jazz sneakers), along with a couple energy bars, ear plugs, pens and anything else I think I might ever need before or after dancing. For a while it had a hammer (long story).

I don't have to think about it most of time; I just grab it as I head out the door. I restock it regularly, but as a rule it's ready to go without much thought. If I notice my nails are extra long on the way to the club, I grab the clippers or nail file and hack away as needed. If I don't have enough breath mints in my pocket, my bag is stocked with extras.

You should create your own kit. At least be sure you have nail clippers, breath mints and other grooming essentials. Grow as you see fit, and throw it in the car as you're going out the door. Then you don't have to remember the details each time, and over time it becomes your "dance bag".

Let me know what you're doing to be prepared for dancing. And ladies, please tell us guys what grooming essentials you find critical. We may not want to hear it, but we need to know your point of view on this subject.