Guys, get a clue: It's our job to adjust to the ladies. If the tall female ducks when I spin her I actually tell her, "Hey... please don't adjust, it's my job to make you comfortable..." (I say it with a smile.) I do the same thing with very petite dancers; I adjust my lead to fit their build. Spin with her hand a couple inches above HER head. Who cares if you're taller or shorter?
If my partner is heavier, I avoid hammerlock moves as it's just not comfortable with larger partners. If I'm asleep at the wheel, I find myself doing one, realizing it's more difficult with this follow, then doing other things the rest of the dance.
Every woman has a different feel. Some have a feather touch, and a few grip like truck drivers. But regardless, I try to mirror their feel back to them, adjusting to be closer to theirs.
Women absolutely light up when they realize they can relax and let me lead, without compensating for my parents being shorter or taller than theirs. You want your partners to feel like you are the one guy who fits their style, so they can be themselves, without worrying about you being taller, shorter, lighter, heavier, etc.
The more you adjust to your partners, the more women will want to dance with you. Watch their face, feel how they hold your hand, and adjust. It’s amazing how a few simple alterations on your part can totally change their impression of your dancing.
It’s all about making your partner feel good. Make them comfortable and at ease, and they will seek you out on the next dance floor.
I learned to speak as I learned to skate or cycle: by doggedly making a fool of myself until I got used to it.
- George Bernard Shaw