Part of the problem is that more advanced dancers can get away with hyper-sexy moves. Women already want to dance with these leads and they will put up with a few over the top moves to get the rest of the great dance. But frankly, unless you're a brand name and are competing or dancing for a living, that's probably not you. (Here's the funny thing: the guys who really need to hear this will think they're the exceptions. You're not. Trust me.)
Here's the deal, ladies: Until you turn these guys down, they'll keep doing it! There's a guy I see regularly who dances like a sleazeball, but some women still dance with him. He'll ask anybody and he will do similar moves; for example, he'll grind his pelvis against her while the lady is practically "bound up" in a double hammer lock position. That's just one of his "signature" moves, but the looks on the ladies' faces say "get this pig off me!"
One woman I know told him he dances "too close" (when she was really thinking he's "way over the top"). He said he wouldn't do it anymore, so she danced with him again. When he did the same moves as before, she called him on it and he said "Oh, sorry, I forgot." She realized this guy won't change, so now he's on her "blacklist." Simple as that.
It must work for this guy, since he keeps doing it. But ladies, you don't have to put up with that kind of garbage. Just say "No thank you" when someone like that asks you to dance. If he starts doing something inapproprite on the floor, give him a quick warning; if he doesn't quit, feel free to walk off the floor. You don't deserve to get mauled on the dance floor, and there are plenty of guys who get the difference between sexy and sleazy.
I've had more women than most people have noses.