Comments on Articles

My shortest blog ever!

I look at the stats and this blog is getting lots of traffic. Only a few people are leaving comments (I think that is common, but I want your input!)

You probably know at the end of each article there is a "X Comments" link, that you can click on and leave a comment that others can read. (I'm going to try and make that more obvious in the future.)

You'll see a flood of new articles over the next few weeks and I have over a dozen in draft form at this point. I have a set on musicality that are getting close to release.

Please click on the "COMMENTS" link below each article and tell me what you think!

No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
-Abraham Lincoln

Countaphobic? Start An 8-Count Program

"Use the Force, Luke."

That's great for a Star Wars movie, but surprisingly, I hear something similar from a few experienced salseros.

Some people tell newer dancers, "Just feel the music, and let it move you." Others say, "Don't learn to count, it will make you stiff." Or the famous, "Just listen, close your eyes and dance what you feel. Dance like nobody is watching!" I almost expect Yoda to appear in the club with an entourage of jewelry-encrusted Jedi knights.

It seems that some lifelong dancers think that if you count, it will make you a robot or a pattern monkey. I call these people "Countaphobics." And while I sometimes feel like the middle-aged white guy I am, I want to look graceful, powerful, authentic, and sensual. So should I count or not?

The answer is YES!
Absolutely YES!
Learn to count the music!
Learn how the steps relate to the count!

Practice counting out loud while doing the steps, with and without music. Counting is foundational, and the sooner you get a handle on it, the better off you will be as a dancer. It is NOT the end-all for musicality or learning, but it's an important building block that you'll want to include in your musicality studies. Counting doesn't give you a pass on learning the feel of the music and how to express it with your body, but it’s an excellent tool that accelerates the learning process.

Some believe that if you hear the music long enough, your body will move in time with it and you'll become one with the groove. (Alright now, everyone chant with me: "Ommmmmm...")

That may happen in the movies, but learning to dance without counting is like learning to drive on roads with no lane markers, stop lights or direction signs. It is possible, and some will make it from a student driver to accomplished road master, but they’re taking the long road and most will have more fender-benders along the way. Lane markers and traffic lights make complex movement possible and allow lots of people to use the roads at the same time. While dancing, the counts don't tell you how to move, but they provide the lane markers that allow you to sync up with the music and your partner.

Some people fear that if they count they will turn into dancing robots, marching to the time. One thing I have observed: The vast majority of people who are countaphobic can't count all their moves out loud themselves. I have yet to meet someone good at dancing and counting who thinks it was a bad choice to master this combined skill.

I had one lady tell me, “Don’t count it… just feel it” as I was learning patterns in my early classes. I was counting out loud as I figured out how it all fit together. She didn’t like dancing with me in the beginning and she hated my counting since she just felt the music. She avoided me after the classes and I stopped asking her to dance as it was clear she didn't like my dancing. I did NOT count while on the floor, unless we were in class, where I always counted out loud. When she saw me a year later, it was obvious that she was shocked at my improvement.

Counting allowed me to internalize the movements and syncronize them with the music. Today, we have a great time and I never count out loud, and I can tell she's having a great time too. She always greets me warmly in the clubs and puts herself in places where I have to ask her to dance or I'll feel rude. I laugh to myself because I’ll never forget her comment and how annoyed she was while I was learning.

Some dancers get fairly advanced, and then hit a wall because they consider counting "too strict." The problem is, they don't understand the power of the exact beat. They aren’t dancing on time, or the music changes and they don’t immediately feel it, so they find themselves off the time, but they don’t know when it happened. Sometimes they think they feel it correctly, but they have the count backward. They may be dancing on the 5 (assuming on1) or on the 6 when they think it’s the 2. In some cases they just don't know what they don't know.

It's fine to ignore the time when you know where it is, just like you go outside the lane markers while you change lanes, but you still use them as a reference point. Musicians are just as much artists as dancers are, and very, very few advanced musicians ignore counting as they grow their art. Now, few of them count in their performances, because they can feel the time and they know how the music is organized. But feeling the time in the music is the result of hundreds of hours of practice and experience.



Watch the video above and and you'll see the musicians reading music (which means they can count) and you'll see counting doesn't make these guys stiff. (Side note: The piano player and the trombone player are reading the most; the others go back and forth, but they all used the music to get to the point where they don't have to read during the recording.)

If I'm driving on a crowded freeway, the lane markers exist to allow me to drive with some order, but they don't prevent me from changing lanes, driving faster or slower, passing others, or exiting when I reach my destination. The markers simply allow many people to travel at high speeds without killing themselves.

For a dancer, few other tools will pay as well as learning to count the music ALOUD when you are practicing. Again, for some people, during the INITIAL STAGES of learning to count and dance, they may look stiff as they have to divert some brainpower to the counting, and the dance can suffer. However, counting is an INVESTMENT, and looking a little stiffer is a temporary situation that goes away with experience, while the counting continues as a tool to make you a stronger dancer in less time.

Your daily commute is the perfect time to practice counting out loud. Play your favorite tunes and learn to count them during your drive time. Salsa, hip-hop, R&B, rock & roll, it's all good for learning to count--more on this in a later blog.

Dancers who know the time and count as well as musicians tend to be the stronger dancers on the scene IF they combine this knowledge with other practice and exposure to great dancing.

This topic is extensive, and I could write a book on the topic of timing, musicality, music structure, and feel. I'll expand on these topics over the next few weeks.

Inside the ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong.
-Muhammad Ali

Never Say "Sorry" Again

I was so wide-eyed, I probably looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

I was the new guy in this classy salsa club, lights flashing, music blaring, and a flood of sexy dancers working the scene. The fog machine was going, creating that old school, smokey club feel and the place was all amped up. I was a novice, a brand-new salsero, and I was in awe, just watching and soaking in the scene.

A circle formed around Edie the Salsa Freak and her partner, like the eye wall of a hurricane. The room stopped dancing and watched, blown away by the gyrating hips and sensual moves contrasted with tornado spins and mind-bending combinations. The two dancers were in the zone and people were standing on chairs, cheering and hollering as they hit the final stop in the tune with a dip that would've made a perfect cover for a romance novel. They froze and stared in each others eyes, and the place went berserk.

Then, she walked over to me.

Yes, Edie the Salsa Freak, one of the greatest female dancers around, walked over to me and started dragging me to the floor. Nervous? Scared? You bet. But I wasn't going to say no to her.

As we walked to the floor, I saw people looking at her, wondering who I was and waiting for us to start. I realized they were expecting me to repeat the show. Not happening. It only took a few seconds for them to realize I was her beginning student, and she was giving me a pity dance. Hard on the ego? Yep.

As we danced, I made a ton of mistakes, but I was out there doing my best. As I messed things up I would say, "Sorry," "Oh, sorry," "Shoot, sorry," knowing if she missed anything, it had to be my fault. Knowing her ability, I felt like every minor issue was my mistake, even though she was very encouraging and gracious. Just getting through the song without stepping one anyone or falling felt like a triumph and I must have said "sorry" 10 times in that one dance.

I'll never forget what she told me at our next lesson: "Don," she said in a direct, forceful tone, "no more sorry on the dance floor! Unless you hurt me or someone around you, DO NOT SAY YOU'RE SORRY!" She told me that if I made a mistake, she didn't care; that was part of the process. Just shut up and dance, and over time it would get better. Go on to the next move and pretend everything is great, even if something didn't work. "QUIT SAYING YOU'RE SORRY!" she repeated before we finished.

Fast forward a few years:

Now, I'm instructing with her at her boot camps and teaching my own students. After a day of teaching at a boot camp, we're social dancing at Steven's Steak House and I ask Edie to dance. I know I'm not world class, but I'm confident I can make her look great and have fun, since anything I can lead, she can follow with grace (and more).

We do a complex move and we're slightly off when it ends, and she looks at me and says, "Sorry!" I cracked up. Then she remembered my beginning, and we had a good laugh. I get a bigger kick out of her actually saying sorry knowing I used to take errors personally, but today I make bold mistakes with confidence! And who cares? I'm also constantly improving, and I can often recover from issues without anybody knowing unless I point them out.

So today, here's my rule for "sorry": If I hit, step on, or otherwise hurt someone, then an apology is appropriate. If I make a mistake, too bad. It's a dance, and if I'm relaxed, my partner has a better time. I try to find a way to make my partner look good after the mistake, and recover. Most of the time, my partner doesn't know I made a mistake because I just find a plan B or C and continue. They may not like my lead at that point but unless it hurt, I move on and sometimes I laugh. It's life; stuff happens.

If I ask a woman to dance and she's a beginner, I don't mind if she tells me that fact when we start. After the first few bars I'll figure it out anyway, so she doesn't really need to tell me. When she says "sorry" I often tell her with a grin, "No sorrys on the floor... I might make a mistake, you might make one, but I don't care!" I often continue, "When we practice for 6 months regularly, I expect perfection, until that point it's just a dance so let's have fun until the song ends."

If they hear me over the blare of the music, I can see them relax. Frankly, if I want a high-intensity dance with greater complexity, I'll dance with a partner who I've seen before, rather than a random dance or a woman I know is an improver or a beginner.

So ladies, once a guy asks you, it's his problem if you are less advanced than he hoped or expected. Look, if he wanted someone who was very experienced, he could have watched you dance before asking you. Once he asks, don't worry about your level. You are doing what you can, so smile and enjoy the dance! And if something doesn't work, half the time it's either a poor lead or a weak choice on his part. If he leads you into a triple spin after you struggled with a double, then it's his issue, not yours. Smile and move on, and if he has an attitude, don't dance with him again.

The sooner I learned to stop saying "sorry" for my weak leads, the better off I was. My partner sees me having fun, and often they're relieved when I make an error and don't make much out of it. They realize they have the freedom to miss something without me giving them attitude. It's a dance, things happen, so learn to laugh at yourself and have a good attitude when something doesn't work as you hoped. Your partners will look forward to your dance. Even if you are wide eyed and in awe.

The thing always happens that you really believe in; and the belief in a
thing makes it happen.
-Frank Lloyd Wright

A Style to Call My Own

I'm watching a Jack and Jill contest at this pulsing club. The audience is circling the dance floor like vultures, rubbernecking to see around the people standing in the front. The woman next to me says "I love watching that guy." I understand; that lead is one of the best "dancers" in the room. Thinking I'll do her a favor and make the connection I reply, "I know him, do you want an introduction?" She says, "No thanks, I've danced with him before and I don't like his lead."

I wasn't surprised; I've seen this over and over. A great personal style doesn't make you a great lead. The best dancers have both, but while you are getting from startup to world-class, make your lead the priority.

Newer dancers are always searching for that great style. They want to look unique, and they believe the key to quality dancing is having a personal style that is their own, impressing women with their sexy moves. Your look may be impressive and women may want to watch, but that doesn't mean they want to dance with you.

Working your style is not always the best place to start. It is a consideration, but until you are well along in the intermediate/advanced stages, it's highly overrated. For men, you can have very little personal style, but be a great (or poor) lead. The quality of your lead isn't directly related to your how good you look as a dancer. If you focus on mastering your leading skills, your connections, and making your partner look great, you'll have so many dances that your personal style will naturally develop over time.

If you see early DVDs/videos from Super Mario, you'll see a guy who has a clunky style, but learned how to make women look great with a quality lead. He gets so many dances with excellent women that his personal style has evolved and he is coming into his own. He still isn't a Luis or Johnny Vasquez, but he didn't get so popular with the ladies because his body waves and sexy style wowed them. His style was about as vanilla as tap water with a slice of lemon.

He mastered his leading techniques, developed a very large pattern vocabulary, and learned to also pay attention to his partner and the music. Nobody would accuse him of a Cuban influence, and he's almost as unlikely as me. But he gives hope to millions of us guys, because he is an EXCELLENT lead and the women love him.

Before getting hung up on style, be sure your leading fundamentals are sound. That often requires getting some private lessons with a quality teacher, someone who will give you honest feedback and fine-tune your lead. Take some of your instruction from the best women in the area, as they will give you a perspective that is hard to find among the male instructors.

Style comes with time, and exposure to plenty of quality dancers. Stay focused on mastering your fundamentals for a while and check out my previous article on watching videos. Develop a great connection and a clear, quality lead, and you'll be dancing with the better ladies as your style matures over time.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
-Emo Philips

A Chance to Breath: Fast Songs

I'm teaching with Edie the Salsa Freak at one of her boot camps yesterday, and we take a break. We get the music playing so people can practice and have fun until we start again. The place starts buzzing with ladies trying out their new styling moves, and in a few minutes there are twenty couples laughing and having a good time on the floor.

I run over and turn off as many lights as practical, making it feel more like a club than a training studio. The next song on the play list was a smokin' fast salsa, with a very upbeat, happy feel.

I find this very attractive woman and ask her to dance, and she looks at me and says, "This is way too fast for me." I turn on my best, "It's OK, I'll take care of you" charm and drag her to the floor. She clearly wasn't thrilled but she looked resigned to getting through the dance.

After 30 seconds, her face lit up, and she started enjoying herself. Rather than doing a long series of intense moves, I did lots of simple moves, including some fairly complicated moves in slow motion (AKA "half time"; where you take 16 counts to do a move you would normally do in 8 counts). I was going back and forth between normal tempo moves for a few bars, then giving her time to catch her breath with a move that seemed slower too her, but was really just in half time. I watched her reaction and kept adjusting based on her responses.

A few times, I started into a pattern that fit the music, but we got behind the time, so I stretched the move out, ignoring the time for a couple bars, then I restarted back in time at the next logical musical phrase. She said, "I always hated fast songs, since I feel like I can't keep up and guys just keep doing patterns and I can't catch my breath. This was more like making love with ebbs and flows..."

There is nothing like hearing a woman say, "great dancing is like making love." Well, it should feel that way...when we're doing it right.

I Didn’t Do Anything Special
I realized I didn’t do anything exceptional, but I approached the song differently than most guys. I established that I knew exactly where the time was, and then ignored it where it made sense. I allowed her to keep up, and when I could see she was struggling I did some moves at half their normal speed. I included some fun, challenging material, along with easy, sexy moves to keep it interesting but I also backed off if I saw her getting toward the edge.

With every partner, you should be looking for logical musical points to let them breath. When you are not dancing, listen to the horn soloists in the band, they do that all the time. They blast out a set of notes, making a musical statement, and then they take a breath before starting the next sequence. The make some blasts short and some longer, but obviously they have to breath at some points. The faster the song, the more important it is to break things up. Pattern after pattern followed by another complex sequence is like holding your partners head under water for the duration.

Most of us guys want our partners to feel like dancing is like making love; it should move between fun, playful, powerful, restful, and intense with a nice ebb and flow. On a faster tune, be sure to think about letting your partner breath in between your best moves. It'll make you best even better!

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like
and give her a house.
-Rod Stewart

Lead Adjusting 101 - Patterns

Clueless Alert:
Adjust your patterns to your partner, or you will create a set of women who dislike dancing with you.

Here's a frustratingly common scene: Some lead is pushing his partner through a difficult double or triple turn, and she's holding on for dear life. Then he does it again, clearly ignoring the terror in her eyes. He tries a double hammerlock when she struggles on the singles. She stumbles or barely keeps up during a cross-body move, but he keeps trying complicated moves the whole song, yanking and pulling his partner while she is trying to catch her breath and get through the sequences.

Or the classic: A guy puts a lady into a "T-Stance" or releases her so she can solo, and her face flashes the “deer in the headlight” look; she's a newer dancer and doesn't feel confident doing those solo moves. He doesn’t notice and blindly leaves her hanging out there way too long, letting her do basic and feeling like a loser. If the guy is really clueless, he'll do some things he considers "fancy footwork," while she watches and does basic, wondering when this moment will end so she can go hide. Maybe he thinks his “magical dancing” will impress her. The reality, however, is that at this particular moment, she hates him.

When I see these things, I think, "That guy doesn't know he doesn't know." He isn't paying attention, he isn't dancing WITH his partner, he is simply trying to show the other guys that he knows some complex patterns and shines.

BAD CHOICE! Most of the time, these guys are doing intense moves that have no relationship to the music, and they really don't lead them very well. The look on the lady's face clearly shows she dislikes him, and anybody watching can see it a mile away. Do complex moves with experienced women when the music is right and give the less experienced partners room to breath. If you put your partner in a position to solo and you see she is struggling, go back to partner moves as soon as practical, and use your body language to let her know you're fine with that.

The real art of social dancing is keeping your follow interested without pushing her into the terror zone constantly, and scaling your dancing so you use appropriate patterns for your partner, while still creating the right feel for the music.

The Bottom Line
Watching your partner and adjusting is critical to success in social dancing. Do it badly, and she'll tell all her friends that you don't have a clue and they should avoid you. If you pay attention to their face, you'll see her light up when you are doing it right, no matter what her technical skills are today. She'll happily dance with you next time you ask if you simply watch and adjust to her level.

Nature's way is simple and easy, but men prefer what is intricate and artificial.
- Lao Tzu

Why Don't the Guys Ask Me?

Ladies love to be asked to dance, but sometimes they wonder why others are being asked and they're not.

First, let's start with the obvious: Men are pretty simple, and if you are dressed fashionably, you improve your odds of being asked to dance. That doesn't mean you need to look like you're auditioning for lead pole at the strip club, or on the verge of a wardrobe malfunction, but the "I'm going to Home Depot for some painting supplies" look isn't a usually a winning one. Salsa gives you a vehicle for showing off your femininity, and you should probably lean toward more dramatic clothes. These can range from ripped jeans and trendy bra-tops to short skirts and sexy blouses. Pick a style that represents you and compliments your beauty, and don't be afraid to dress with attitude!

Location, location, location
All clubs have a "sweet spot" or location where the ladies are more likely to be asked. Figure out that location and make it yours when you're not taking a break. Stand there when waiting to dance. Many clubs have spots where the crowd has to pass to get on the floor. The more guys who walk past you, to or from the floor, the better your odds. Avoid sitting until you really want a rest.

While standing and waiting, if you are subtly grooving to the music, that is also a positive. Guys are attracted to movement, and some simple movement makes you a more inviting partner than someone doing a potted-plant imitation.

When dancing with a good lead, see if you can influence him to dance in front of the other guys you want to ask you later. Seeing you on the floor dramatically increases your future dances, and often a club has an area where the stronger leads hang out. Since the guys don't care where they dance, if you state a preference, most are fine going to that area.

Look like you are having fun with the other leads. This is huge. I really don't care if you're a world class salsera; I'd rather dance with someone who has moderate skills, a great attitude, and a sincere smile than a Britney Spears wannabe-diva who looks bored with their leads. I'll assume that if you're having fun with others, you'll do the same with me.

Wearing dance shoes is also a major plus. Maybe you're a Victoria's Secret model, but if you wear sexy street pumps, I'll admire your shoes (and maybe your looks), but I won't ask you to dance unless I've seen you dancing with others. Too many times, I've seen decked-out women in street shoes who can't dance. Wearing dance shoes says you're not only out clubbing, and I know you're either already good or investing in getting better.

If you sit too far from the dance floor, I'm much less likely to ask you; I can't tell if you don't want to dance, if you're shy, or if you simply want to watch. If you're sitting on some guy's lap, or he is close enough to put his arm around you and you are in a conversation, I'll pass as well. If you want to be asked, be sure you don't look like a couple constantly.

Don't make me ask you while the guy is sitting on the outside of the booth and I have to reach over him to ask for your hand. Even a booth with women around you make you less approachable. If you are attractive it can look like I'm only interested in hot women and so I'll simply skip it until you are not surrounded by others.

If you are new at the club, go to the class before the dancing starts. You meet men as you rotate during the class and some will ask you to dance IF you had a good attitude. You may not need the lesson but it's still an excellent way to get some guys to know you dance with a good attitude. You can also say something like "save me a dance later..." before you rotate. Few guys can resist that invitation.

Of course, if we have a common friend or I have seen you dance reasonably well with others, that changes things. If you have a great dance with a lead, ask him if any of his friends dance as well as he does. He'll be flattered and introduce you to the other good leads he knows.
Guys: Let me know what makes it more likely for you to ask a lady to dance.
Ladies: Let me know what has been successful for you.

A man on a date wonders if he'll get lucky. The woman knows.
- Monica Piper

Lead Adjusting 101 - Physical

You see this all the time: A guy is dancing with this beautiful tall woman and every time he turns her, she ducks, because she's tired of getting hit in the head by leads who don't adjust. Or a stunning petite woman is dancing with a NBA-sized lead, and he is lifting her hand way above her head during the turns, so she looks like she's asking a question on each turn. In both cases, it's uncomfortable for the lady, and it doesn't look very sexy.

Guys, get a clue: It's our job to adjust to the ladies. If the tall female ducks when I spin her I actually tell her, "Hey... please don't adjust, it's my job to make you comfortable..." (I say it with a smile.) I do the same thing with very petite dancers; I adjust my lead to fit their build. Spin with her hand a couple inches above HER head. Who cares if you're taller or shorter?

If my partner is heavier, I avoid hammerlock moves as it's just not comfortable with larger partners. If I'm asleep at the wheel, I find myself doing one, realizing it's more difficult with this follow, then doing other things the rest of the dance.

Every woman has a different feel. Some have a feather touch, and a few grip like truck drivers. But regardless, I try to mirror their feel back to them, adjusting to be closer to theirs.

Women absolutely light up when they realize they can relax and let me lead, without compensating for my parents being shorter or taller than theirs. You want your partners to feel like you are the one guy who fits their style, so they can be themselves, without worrying about you being taller, shorter, lighter, heavier, etc.

The more you adjust to your partners, the more women will want to dance with you. Watch their face, feel how they hold your hand, and adjust. It’s amazing how a few simple alterations on your part can totally change their impression of your dancing.

It’s all about making your partner feel good. Make them comfortable and at ease, and they will seek you out on the next dance floor.

I learned to speak as I learned to skate or cycle: by doggedly making a fool of myself until I got used to it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Blacklisted!

Did you realize that most club dancers keep a "Blacklist?" It may not be written out, but over time everybody will decide there are people who they don't want to dance with.

Some women blacklist you because you're too gray, had bad breath one day, can't stay on beat, aren't cool enough, spin them too much, spin them too little, had too many drinks, are too tall, too short, don't have enough "flavor," or maybe hang with the wrong crowd. There are a hundred reasons, and the amusingly-aggravating thing is, it will vary depending on their mood.

Fact is, most women keep a Black, Gray, and Favorite list along with a very short, "I'm one glass of wine and a good dance from going home with that guy" list. (I've heard of that one, but I've never seen it actually happen...)

Overall, I accept it. But I want to be on the Favorite list if possible. I'd rather a woman turn me down than dance with me while acting like she'd prefer an anesthesia-free root canal. Over time, most of us take it less personally, and realize that there are some excellent dancers who don't always want to dance with me.

I've seen excellent follows who look great with others, but don't sync well with me. Also, some women I liked when I first started are not as much fun anymore. Women will love a certain lead when they're beginners, but then find a year later that the same guy "isn't all that anymore." As your level changes, your tastes in a partner often evolve as well.

Some advanced dancers just don't want to dance with beginners, so they blacklist everybody who hasn't proven that they're worthy of their time. As I wrote a couple days ago, I don't agree with that approach; but as I dance more and more, I realize that you can't always dance with everyone you'd like. Consequently, you often dance with those you know rather than someone new.

As novices, most guys get indignant if turned down. I used to blacklist any women who turned me down twice. Worse, I would swear at her under my breath if she turned me down and went on the floor with another guy 30 seconds later. (I hope my Mom doesn't read this.)

Today, if I know her, I don't ask anymore. I just grab her hand, lead her gently to the floor and start dancing. Since we've danced and had fun in the past, it's rare that she'll stop me after we're on the floor. And some other guy may be fuming since he just asked her. I had one women protest "I just turned someone down!" and I said, "Sorry, that's not my problem, I like this song and you are perfect for it!"

If a women turns you down, the easiest thing to do is ask someone else AND improve your dancing. I'm committed to being better next month, rather than worrying about the ones who won't dance with me today. Someday, she will notice I'm improving and she may change her mind. If she doesn't, that's fine too.

What gets someone on your blacklist?
Have you changed your mind and why did you?

Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you
cannot grow.
-Ronald Osborn

Friends Don't Let Friends Dance Big

I hated dancing in a small space when I started. Now, I realize that it's a positive challenge to keep my partner safe, have fun, and dance to the music on a crowded floor. Sure, I've modified some of what I might do without others on the floor; but the reality is, sometimes the floor is crowded at the good clubs. Dancing in a small space can be a blast, ASSUMING the people around me have some clue.

Picture This...
I'm at my favorite Tuesday night spot, Mama Juana's, and it's prime time. Johnny Polanco's band is burning and the floor is crowded with sexy couples. I find a spot that's smaller than I'd like, but very workable. Then, this guy comes on the floor next to me and starts dancing like he's the only one on the floor. He throws his partner into me, and then into my follow a few seconds later. My partner was unhappy, and the look on her face showed she was very uncomfortable. I spent the rest of the dance in defensive mode, keeping my partner away from him so I would get bruised instead of her.

My partner thanked me for protecting her, and this guy's follow apologized to me when the dance finished. I assured her that I knew she's at the mercy of the lead, and it's not her fault if she gets danced into another couple. This idiot was clueless. He hit me and others while throwing his partner around like a rag doll, and one couple left the floor because they got tired of being stepped on. But he was in his own world; I'm sure he thought his partner was impressed with his "cool moves." He never said "sorry" or acknowledged that he had abused others around him. He simply carried on as if he were full-blooded royalty who owned the place, and the rest of us pawns should've been genuflecting, groveling, and respectfully leaving the floor to its rightful king.

He had a table of four guys with him and they had to see the destruction left in his wake. But nobody pulled him aside and said "Hey, when it's this crowded, you need to dance tighter."

It can be sooooo simple: Try taking smaller steps! And practice your dancing assuming you have limited space. I've seen some fantastic couples grooving in postage stamp-sized areas, and I've come to respect the skill involved.

If your friend is dancing inconsiderately, be a real friend and let them know. As long as this guy remains clueless, he’ll do it over and over. Somebody needs to lend him a clue, and since he’s your friend, let him in on the secret that everybody else knows.

If I'm not in bed by eleven at night, I go home.
-Henny Youngman

A Turn, Spin, or Just Dizzy?

"I want to be a great spinner!" That’s the battle cry of many dancers, both men and women. Tight, quick, flashy turns and spins mark the more advanced dancers, and it’s a much-coveted skill in the clubs.

Turns and Spins: What’s the Difference?
I call turns anything where both feet are momentarily on the ground once (or more) each revolution. However, spins are a little different. In a spin, you turn on one foot from the time the spin starts until you finish (AKA “landing”).

Just as a square is a type of rectangle, “turns” are considered a subset of spins. If you are doing singles (going around once), they are similar and sometimes identical.

Once you get to doubles and beyond, then the differences become more obvious.
This video teaches some interesting men’s turns, and you’ll see his feet hit the floor once or more each time as he goes around. Ironically, in the first example he does a triple free spin, but then in the rest of the video he breaks down turns, showing you the footwork as he goes around. Those are fun turns to master, they look good, and most salseros would be in great shape with just those moves. There is NOTHING wrong with turns, and if done with finesse, they look polished and flashy.

Spins require more technique and fast controlled spins are one mark of the advanced dancer. In this example, the first time Brandon spins, it’s all on one foot, with the other almost dragging the floor (ironically called a “pencil turn”, even though it’s in the spin family.) This spin is ~24 seconds into the clip. A pencil turn is technically a variation of a jazz pirouette.

Jazz and ballet dancers have been spinning for years, and most salsa spins are variations on classic jazz and ballet techniques.

Luis Vasquez uses both techniques; here’s an example of him club-dancing.

In this video, you can see him spinning his doubles and triples on one leg within the first 20 seconds of the cut. His other leg never touches the floor from the time he starts to spin until he lands. I haven’t found any examples of him using the turns techniques, but I’ve taken privates from him and seen him do it in the past.

The stronger dancers can do both, but if they start anything more than a double, they can do it on one leg and don’t put their other foot down until they finish the spin. They can make it look like both legs are on the floor, as in the pencil turn, or they can lift one foot higher.

The two techniques are complimentary but create a different feel, and the best dancers can do both. Many start with the turns, graduate to the spins over time and then combine them to create different looks depending on the feel that’s right for the moment.

Check out a guy called “Jazzy” in this turns demonstration.

All the turns Jazzy is doing have French names and there are a set of exercises to build up the different components of those spins. Dancers with a classic dance background recognize salsa spins are variations on standard exercises you do in jazz/ballet classes. He has great balance, spots well and he puts them into a salsa context. He can look like a jazz dancer or vary the feel to look more "street."

The example where he does 10 or so (and then takes a bow) is called "Fuettes". I can’t see anybody really doing these on the salsa floor, but many of the advanced spinners have classic training, including spins outside the salsa norm. That gives them depth, balance, and the ability to combine techniques to get the look they want. Just to see those in another context, here is a quick example of Fuettes from a ballet perspective.

Jazzy doesn't do them with the strict ballet form since that would look inappropriate for salsa (he really doesn't have the legs she does!). But it's clear he has some classic dance training in his background, and he integrates that into his salsa. He also does some hip-hop and that shows through as well.

Classic spin techniques are not required to be a great salsa dancer. If you want to wow them on the floor, check out jazz classes in addition to your salsa favorites. The accomplished dancers tend to have experience across a range of dances and they integrate techniques that have been around for years, long before salsa was popular.

Turning and spinning are vast subjects and I’ll have more to say in the future. Let me know what you are doing to master your turns and spins. How are you preparing to be a great spinner?

Ignore Beginners At Your Peril

Your future as a dancer depends on beginners and improvers. Over time, the experienced salsa dancers move on to other things. They take up tango or sky diving, they move, they date someone who doesn't dance, or they get married and drop out for a while. There's a lot of churn in the social scene. Helping less experienced dancers have a good time while they're getting up to speed is a win for everybody.

Some of today’s beginners will become excellent dancers, and you improve when you learn to dance well with people at different levels. But if you ignore them now, some of them won't dance with you as they mature. Worse, some will get discouraged and drop out, telling others it's not worth the effort to get started. It’s a partner dance and everybody wins with a constant flow of new people joining the fun.

This is one of those balance issues. You may not want to spend your entire night dancing with beginners, but don't ignore them either. If you see someone regularly, and they are improving, ask them to dance occasionally and encourage them. Being a snob will cost you over time.

A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog's IQ. Here's how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you. -Jay Leno

Careful: You Become What You Watch

Someone once said, “You’ll become what you think about most.” It doesn't always work; if it were totally true, most guys would have been a beautiful girl by the end of high school. And a few older guys would be a hot salsera by now!

Still, you'll eventually dance like people you watch the most. View great dancers consistently, and some of their moves and styling will become yours. You should find a set of great videos and watch them over and over, so your mind has quality input to draw from as your dancing matures.

Think about our speaking voices. It doesn’t happen in month, but wherever you live you’ll pick up their regional language tendencies over time. Southerners say "New Orleans" distinctly different from someone from New York, California, or London. It's all "English", and it's all good, but once you move into an area, your accent will gradually change to fit within your environment. You may never lose the accent from your childhood, but gradually you'll move toward the norm in your current area.

The same effect applies to dancing, and you want to take control of those influences. Watch great dancers regularly, and especially watch those you like over and over. It's a very gradual process; some influences will show up in weeks, and some will come out years from now. If your favorites are famous, established dancers, buy their instructional DVDs. Watch them over and over and over, 20-50 times EACH! There is nothing like the details they tell you while breaking down the moves; it's way beyond just watching people do patterns while club dancing.

I have my money where my mouth is on this one... I have over 30 DVDs from world class instructors including Edie the Salsa Freak, Super Mario, Luis Vasquez and others.

Unfortunately, most of the social videos onYouTube are weak or just plain bad examples. If you watch them repeatedly, you'll find yourself imitating those people someday. I've seen lots of people pick up a pattern from someone else or a YouTube video, but the way they do it makes it obvious they don't know what they are doing. You can find good examples there, but the quality varies greatly and until you are a very seasoned dancer, be sure your watching includes instructional DVDs.

As a mature drummer, I sometimes hear myself play a variation on something I heard over and over when I was a young drummer. I have music that I listened to hundreds of times, and I'm amazed when 20 years later something just comes flying out without my thinking about it. I didn't plan on playing something from the past, but the moment was right, and my brain output something based on input from many, many years ago, without me directly practicing that pattern. That works because in parallel I studied with some of the world's best studio musicians in LA.

As you become a more seasoned dancer, you’ll be able to tell who influences other dancers in the clubs. For example, it’s easy for me to pick out the dancers who really like one of popular LA instructors, because they do their signature moves, patterns and styling. I once had a excellent follower from Japan do a shine and I immediately knew she was influenced by Edie the Salsa Freak (and excellent choice to emulate).

If you watch a quirky style constantly, you'll pick that up too. So be sure you're watching great dancers and over time you'll find yourself dancing variations on their style, just like picking up regional accents in your speaking voice.

Let me know who you like to watch.
Who inspires you?
Have you built you DVD library from the world's best instructors?
What DVDs or YouTube videos are you watching?

At the ballet you see girls dancing on their tiptoes. Why don’t they just get taller girls?
-Greg Ray

Video Yourself Often - But Be Kind

If you want to tear up the floor sooner rather than later, video cameras are your best friend. They're also a brutally honest critic. My direct experience is that the video camera is among the best tools for refining my moves. It shows me my good, bad, and "maybe I should just kill myself now" moments.

While refining your dancing, the camera greatly accelerates your learning by providing that needed outside reference point. Too much mirror-watching while dancing can be fatal, but during the playback you see it all happen. You notice that strange finger motion, your inappropriate shoulder shrug, or that pointed foot that looks out of place. Your progress is also obvious when you compare tapes over time.

You should consider taping regularly, both your practice and club dancing. Performers always use video to refine their movements.

Sometimes I hate it, because in my mind's eye I’m just amazing, while on tape it’s obvious I'm a major work in progress. I also get these glimmers of “Hey, that doesn’t look too bad! And it's certainly a vast improvement over last month.”

Be careful not to be discouraged. Most people are self-critical at a level that is borderline-insane, and the only other videos they watch are of pros. That's a very difficult standard, since the pros have years of experience. It’s just an unfair comparison.

The camera takes your best and worst and puts it right in your face. Most dancers should video their dancing at some regular interval, view the playback once or twice, and then delete the tape if they find it bothersome. The point is to use the tape as a tool to see your progress, not to constantly beat yourself up. Be sure to pat yourself on the back as you see improvements. It’s easy to focus on the weaknesses, but you need to see both sides or the tool becomes too painful and you fall into the dreaded, "I guess I should just go play ping-pong instead."

Everybody should also use mirrors, but that's another blog.

I tape ALL my privates so I can review and remember the finer points of the lesson (and recommend my students do the same). I won’t take lessons from someone who says, “No taping.” I will sign a document that those tapes are for my private use ONLY, so I can remember, review and learn. No instructor wants to see their lessons given to others free or posted on public sites.

I did a contest a couple years ago, and it's still painful for me to watch the video. We came in 3rd place, but when I see the playback, I realize how immature I looked compared to the vision in my head. We had plenty of positive feedback from the audience, but I hated the tape since it was so brutally honest. On the other hand, that view gave me a very clear focus on areas that were ripe for improvement. Over time, my taped reality gets closer and closer to my internal vision.

Video is one of the secrets of the pros. They see themselves on tape regularly and they can fix/refine or remove stuff that they don’t notice while dancing. They take their best and do more, and refine out the weaker movements.

Bottom line: It’s a great tool, and you should use it to your advantage. Soon enough you’ll be tearing it up and you’ll have the tape to prove it.

Tape yourself a few times and let me know how it works for you.

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither."
-Drew Carey

Too Sexy For My Shirt (NOT)

OK, so you think you're "Sexiest Man Alive" material. You're not alone; most of us guys believe we're just a few situps away from having supermodels chase us. But on the dance floor, there's a fine line that divides "sensual" from "sleazy," and some guys think they're born to show women how sexy they are on the floor.

Part of the problem is that more advanced dancers can get away with hyper-sexy moves. Women already want to dance with these leads and they will put up with a few over the top moves to get the rest of the great dance. But frankly, unless you're a brand name and are competing or dancing for a living, that's probably not you. (Here's the funny thing: the guys who really need to hear this will think they're the exceptions. You're not. Trust me.)

Here's the deal, ladies: Until you turn these guys down, they'll keep doing it! There's a guy I see regularly who dances like a sleazeball, but some women still dance with him. He'll ask anybody and he will do similar moves; for example, he'll grind his pelvis against her while the lady is practically "bound up" in a double hammer lock position. That's just one of his "signature" moves, but the looks on the ladies' faces say "get this pig off me!"

One woman I know told him he dances "too close" (when she was really thinking he's "way over the top"). He said he wouldn't do it anymore, so she danced with him again. When he did the same moves as before, she called him on it and he said "Oh, sorry, I forgot." She realized this guy won't change, so now he's on her "blacklist." Simple as that.

It must work for this guy, since he keeps doing it. But ladies, you don't have to put up with that kind of garbage. Just say "No thank you" when someone like that asks you to dance. If he starts doing something inapproprite on the floor, give him a quick warning; if he doesn't quit, feel free to walk off the floor. You don't deserve to get mauled on the dance floor, and there are plenty of guys who get the difference between sexy and sleazy.

I've had more women than most people have noses.
-Steve Martin

Salsa: Three Types of Practice Required!

It may take two to tango, but Salsa requires three distinct types of practice as you grow. Maybe a few can dazzle in the clubs by just “dancing”. But most people require a systematic approach if they want excellence in a reasonable time frame. Few dancers want to crash and burn in the club while working on new material. You can accelerate your success by making sure you are actively managing your practice. On a regular basis, you’ll want to incorporate different types of practice as your dancing matures.

Practicing breaks down into the following categories:

• Personal
• Partnering
• Club/Social

Personal Practice
You need to practice on our own, with a mirror and/or video camera, to get the footwork and overall body action refined. By yourself you can focus on your look and feel without the distraction of your partners’ strengths and weaknesses. Work on your footwork, Cuban motion, balance, turns, spins and shine combinations alone, refining basic and more complex body control.

Partnering Practice
Practice your patterns and leading/following skills with a practice partner, outside the club. You slow the patterns down, speed them up, repeating sections over and over to fine-tune the mechanics and make sure everything is clear to your partner. It is also helpful to practice the patterns at both a snail's pace and at blistering tempos. Working a pattern very slowly is often eye-opening and harder than doing moderate or faster tempos. Counting out loud while practicing patterns is an excellent practice habit and using a video camera to review your progress is extremely helpful.

Club Practice
Getting in the real world changes things. If the wheels fall off when you try it in the club, you haven’t practiced it enough in a private setting. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve practiced a pattern/combination with my practice partner, and then the first time in the club it was like the car ran out of gas. I forgot how the pattern started, or I blew the ending, or I missed a step and we crashed and burned. Sometimes it works fabulously; sometimes it’s material for a blooper reel. Different music, lighting, a different floor and just the fact that others might be watching change the dynamics of dancing enough to throw my game plan out the window. Ideally, you try new material with a partner who is already one of your fans, since they will cut you some slack if the first couple attempts lead to a blowout. Once you have success with known partners, then see if you can lead others through the same move.

Let me know how you manage your practice.

No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.
-Henry Kissinger

Practicing Safe Salsa - Ear Protection

Darn, my Mother was right again: too much loud music damages your ears.

Sure, I'm not the youngest guy in the clubs, but as a musician I know what loud is about... And frankly, most clubs are just TOO loud! I enjoy cranking the volume at points, and as a drummer, there are times when I push the band to maximum volume for emotional effect. But I love contrast, and great music spans from a whisper to a roar and back.

Unfortunately, the chest thumping, "sign language only" levels in most clubs are beyond reasonable. If you hear any ringing when your head hits the pillow or the next morning, you've already crossed the threshold toward damage. Too many nights in that environment and you'll experience a slow, steady march toward lip reading and hearing aids. Since the losses aren’t immediately obvious, most people don't pay much attention, assuming "if everybody else is dealing with it, it must be fine..." Hearing loss isn't obvious since it's gradual.

Most DJ's are already partially deaf, so they just didn't get it and thought I was "too old" when I used to complain. The guys running the sound board also tend to buy into the "louder is better" trap, so they crank the volume as well.

In my early salsero days, when I knew the music was too loud, I would go into the restroom and create custom earplugs from toilet paper. (It can be an exceptionally sexy look...) It worked great, but it was hard to have conversations, and one night I had to wake my wife up at 3am to remove the tissue that was too far in my ears. She had to use tweezers; fingers just wouldn't work! I really don't recommend getting paper stuck down in your ears, but it is better than nothing, and better than losing your hearing to look cool.

Over time, I found some EXCELLENT ear plugs and today I don't care if they crank the music. I do occasionally feel sorry for my dance partners and others who aren't doing something to protect their hearing. They just don't realize the long term damage from high volume music. Here's an interesting article all dancers should read on the Importance of Hearing Protection.

I started with the drug store foam cheapies, then went to my local music store and upgraded to high fidelity plugs (under $15).

When I realized how much they helped, I finally graduated to musician's custom fitted filters (~$150 to $200, shown below). You go to a specialist who makes a mold of your ear and the plugs are custom-made to fit you exclusively. They are comfortable since they are made just for you, and I often wear them for hours on end without thinking about them.

After about two years of use, I can say they are one of the best investments in dancing I ever made. Now my ears don't ring the next day, I can have conversations in the club (without removing the plugs) and they are pretty unobtrusive; few people realize I ALWAYS wear them. The high-end plugs simply lower the volume and don't change the overall sound. Cheap drug store plugs make conversations difficult and the music doesn't sound the same. That said, if you can't yet afford the high-end versions, I'd still use the high fidelity plugs referenced above. Otherwise, long before those AARP subscriptions start arriving, you’ll start paying attention to the hearing aid ads and learning to lip read.

Women definitely go to maintenance extremes. One of the great mysteries to me is the fact that a woman could pour hot wax on her legs, rip the hair out by the roots, and still be afraid of a spider.
-Jerry Seinfeld