Wandering Eyes: Cheating on Your Instructor?

Have you ever felt a little guilty eyeing another instructor? Could that other teacher make you happier? Are you feeling that seven-lesson itch that is common among students? Do you have an instructor on the side that is unknown to your other teacher? What if they find out you are not committed to them?

And you thought dating was tough.

There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but I'm amazed how uncomfortable someone can be leaving one instructor for another.

Well, get over it, because this is old news to your instructor. They have probably been with other students all along; they just pretend you two are going steady.

They know at some point you'll have wandering eyes. From your first lesson, they are aware you are just using them and will leave them sooner or later. Just like dating, some instructors look great, yet once you are gazing into their eyes, you realize it's never going to work.

Take the band-aid approach: As soon as you know it isn't working for you, rip it off and find someone else. If that seems a little harsh, you can use the famous "No... It's me, really... you deserve better students and I can't give you what you need." (Meaning: I'm not going to pay for more lessons, since I hardly even know you anymore!)

Any instructor who is bothered by you going to another has got it all wrong. You are the one investing your money. If it's not working for you, go see someone else and quit feeling guilty about it. And at some point they will find out you are working with someone else, but so what? They have been through that before because everybody goes to someone else. It's OK to be a "player" among instructors. They may not tell you, but they knew all along you were using them.

If they get upset, or treat you poorly after you leave, or make you uncomfortable, be sure to tell all your friends because that instructor doesn't deserve more students. Any good professional realizes that some student/instructor combinations just don't work. They don't own you. They have no right to tell you who you can and cannot see!

There are multiple learning styles and the better instructors know how to teach to the strengths of their students. But even a "great" instructor may not be right for you, because being a great instructor for one person doesn't mean their teaching style fits your learning style.

Some instructors are actually ideal for a quick fling of a few lessons, but then you see you can't grow in that relationship, so end it before you create more hurt for everybody. (Well, actually for your wallet--the instructor will use you as long as you let them.)

It's your money, keep your heart out of it and remember that your instructor knows you'll be thinking of others, even while you are pretending you're theirs forever.

Remember! You focus on your needs! The instructor has been through this before and will forget about you as a student long before you stop feeling guilty. Any decent instructor has been quietly seeing others behind your back the whole time you've been together. Some even make a show of it, but they don't want to hurt your feelings either. Of course they will miss you, and if they are really worth it, you may be back in the future for some tune-up flings, but that is totally up to you!

It's your dime and your time, so once the relationship isn't working, find another until you find the right fit for you. Sometimes you just need someone new in order to grow. Put your needs first and don't feel guilty for leaving an instructor. They hope you stay, but they will get over it much sooner than you when the time is right for you to move on.

My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that.
Can you imagine? Two dinners!
-Sarah Silverman

How I Watch an Instructional DVD

I just received some new dance DVDs and I don't know how other people watch dance DVDs, but I thought my methods might be helpful to others. (I read books in a similar fashion.)

My Program overview:

• Watch the DVD from beginning to end
• Pick out a section or two I like, and work on it
• Go back and do everything from beginning to end
• Review the complete DVD after a few months or more

Details:
Before trying any of the moves, I watch the DVD from beginning to end. I want to get a feel for how it all fits together before I start practicing the moves and exercises. In a few cases I'll watch the whole thing a couple of times from beginning to end before trying any of the moves. I rarely get to just sit and watch for an hour, so this review is often done over a few sessions, and that could be within one day or over a week.

After my initial end-to-end review, I often pick out something I think would be fun to learn and do it first. Because I'm learning something I like, it seems easier and that tends to give me additional enthusiasm toward the other materials. While I'm working on specifics, I'll still watch the DVD while I'm having lunch or taking a break from other activities, just to feed the visuals into my head.

After I do a couple things I like, I go back and start from the beginning, working the exercises, including the ones that I find hard. Everybody is different in this respect, but something that is brain-dead simple for you may give me fits for a few months. Going through the exercises may take a week or a few months, depending on how often I'm practicing and the difficulty of the materials.

I avoid skipping too many sections, even if I think the material has little application in my dancing. In most cases, I want to learn the pattern even if I think it doesn't apply because the more you learn, the easier it is to learn new materials. (This is a judgement call; I do skip some materials, but I don't just skip it because it's harder than I'd like.)

One rule I live by: If I am not getting it, I'm doing it too fast. I will slow something down way more than most people would, because I've had excellent success with that method. (Musicians do this all the time.) You can master almost anything if you're willing to do it slow enough. See my article on "Slow Down to Groove Fast" for more details.

After working everything from end-to-end, I wait a few months and then look at the DVD again. Like listening to great music over and over, I'm amazed at how much I can learn with a tune-up review. I see things that were not obvious when I was working on the materials the first time through. (I still go back and watch some "beginning" DVDs to verify I'm still sound in my fundamentals.)

I'm always looking for additional methods to accelerate my learning.

Let me know how you approach new DVDs.

My mother said, "You won't amount to anything because you procrastinate."
I said, "Just wait."
-Judy Tenuta

Music: Different System - Different Sound

This won't be news to you, but I just got hit on the head (again).

I have a song I've heard at least 20 times in a class I attend (this was over a few weeks' time). I love the song so I purchased a copy and started playing it on my computer, which has a really good set of speakers.

The first time I heard it on my system I realized I had missed many of the subtle background vocals while at the class. I had a great time going over the song reviewing what I had been missing. It was like the restaurant comping my dessert because it's my birthday. (Dessert just seems better when it's free.) What does this mean to you?

If you are working on really understanding music, be sure you hear it on quality systems, and I don't mean those $12 earbuds that sometimes pass for headphones. Even with years of ear training, some systems make it much easier to actually "hear" the music.

In an ideal world, you'll hear the same music on different systems. You'll be amazed, because you pick up different things on each of them. This makes a big difference if you are listening to the different instruments, and learning how they all fit together.

Some may find it silly, but one of the big criteria for my auto purchases is the quality of the sound system. I want excellent sound in the car and that is one area I don't compromise. My current car color wasn't my first choice, but it had the sound system I wanted, so guess what I did? I bought the one with the upgraded sound system and the color was one of my secondary choices.

(The color actually hides the dirt MUCH better than my original choice, and that has been a major win for me. Put that in the "better to be lucky than good" category. My next car will be a similar color.)

Upgrading your sound system gives you an excellent excuse for upgrading your car as well, ("Honey, think of how well I'll dance with the sound system in that Lexus...")

It's hard enough to learn about the music, and inferior speakers or earbuds make learning tougher than it should be. You can always upgrade your earbuds, and if you are serious about listening to music I recommend you do that sooner rather than later.

Here are some ideas for upgrading your earbuds: Take this link to find reviews on CNet.com.

If you are listening at home, Best Buy has some amazing surround sound bundles (click here for an example) and they are under $600. You can spend half of that for a decent stereo system, but just be sure to upgrade your earbuds if that is your primary listening environment. I have also upgraded the cheapy speakers on one of my computers, so my listening from downloads sounds great as well. (Hint: Get a set with a sub-woofer, here are some specials from Circuit City.)

In other words, don't spend hours and hours listening on cheap equipment if you have any options. You'll learn faster when you hear more on the better systems, and it's a lot more fun. As your ears become trained, you'll hear more even when the only thing available is an inferior system, and your overall enjoyment of music will increase.

That enjoyment will be reflected in your dancing over time.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
-Mark Twain

Too Stiff? - You Must Know Too Much

It's a common misconception: If you know too much about dancing or music, you'll dance stiff.

On some of the salsa message boards, I've seen people recommend "feeling" the music. I wholeheartedly agree with that advice, AND I believe you should know and understand as much as possible about dancing and the music. Feeling and understanding are NOT mutually exclusive concepts. Just because you know how weight transfer affects a certain move, or you can count your moves, or know the structure of the music, doesn't mean you can't feel it.

But some people are recommending that you shouldn't learn traditional dance techniques (maybe jazz or ballet), or learn to count the music, because they claim that will make you stiff or take all the feel out of your dance.

Sometimes I think this gives a convenient excuse if someone already dances and doesn't want to learn more; they simply want to dance. Because they don't want to invest in more learning, they tell you learning the music structure, counting or theory will make you robotic. Instead, they say, simply listen to more music and the feel will reveal itself through your dancing. They seem to think if they feel it exclusively, it must be good.

That does work in a few cases, but combining a great feel for dance or music with some theory, history and understanding rarely hurts anybody, especially in the longer term.

As I've said before, when you first learn a dance concept, you may be stiffer while you are thinking about the details. It's part of the growth process. But being stiff is a short term issue, assuming you continue to practice and grow as a dancer.

As with everything in life, there are a few exceptions, but that probably isn't you or me. A few learned what I call "organically"--they learned to dance the same way they learned to walk or run, by watching their parents and going to family gatherings where everybody danced for fun. The moves are passed from generation to generation, but the new kids aren't out social dancing in the clubs in a couple months. Most people learning as adults can't follow the same path as it generally takes longer, and most of us want to accelerate the learning process. Ask most great organic learners how long they have been dancing and you'll see it's often not the fast track.

A perfect musical example is this video below (I used this same example in a previous article a couple months ago.) I love this cut because all the musicians have music on their stands. During the take that is filmed, some read music while performing, others have read it enough in the rehearsals to memorize their parts.

Check this out:


Reading complex music means these guys understand significant amounts about music, and it's hard to make the case they are stiff. Because they can read, they can learn new music MUCH faster than other musicians who do it by feel alone. When you watch the piano solo, it's obvious he is reading as he's playing, and his technique is excellent. The technical aspects of his playing are common among a wide set of great piano players, and none of that gets in the way of his great feel while performing. He's even "singing" during his solo and none of his classic training or musical understanding is getting in the way of a world-class performance.

The same applies to your dancing. One size never fits all, but talk to the fastest growing dancers in almost any city and you'll find they know much more than the average dancer. They can feel it, explain it, and/or show you the history of dance and music.

Organic learning should always be part of the mix as you grow, but the more you know the better off you are, especially if you are learning as an adult.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle.
It wasn't mine.
-Rita Rudner

You're So Creative--What's Wrong With Me?

On a forum I frequent, someone asked, "How do instructors and advanced dancers keep coming up with something new each week?"

My first thought is: Forget about it! It will almost never happen, and when it does, it will happen without your forcing it. Most are recycling old materials, and recombining existing patterns to "create" something others think is original. But it's rarely "new" or even remotely original in the bigger picture.

Even the most creative people will tell you most of the time they are "...standing on the shoulders of giants" (Isaac Newton - 1676).

Part of it is a decision to look for and/or create new materials. Once you decide that's part of your mission, you'll do it more often. By default, instructors know they need a different pattern next class, so they are constantly looking for new materials, and ideas they can integrate into their existing patterns.

Something totally original is not really likely, but combining what you already know into different patterns, and finding variations on existing patterns becomes easier over time, as your personal vocabulary grows.

One of the biggest factors is exposing yourself to a wide variety of materials, including non-salsa dances. Go social dancing as often as possible, purchase instructional DVDs, watch YouTube videos, and take classes from different instructors. All these provide needed input and you'll start "creating" your own patterns which are often fragments and/or variations of other patterns.

One guy I know loves "hand tosses" which he started in his West Coast Swing days. This guy took some humble hand toss patterns and "created" tons of variations on the ones he knew. Today I don't know anybody who can put together more interesting combinations than he can.

When he gets going, people are in awe; he looks very creative because can do them fast, slow, while turning or pivoting from side to side, all to the point where he can look like a circus juggler throwing and catching hands from nearly impossible angles. Just about every time I've watched him do this, his partners start laughing and enjoying themselves. When you ask him, he can show you how it started; a large set of the little pieces that today he creatively combines based on the music and how his partner is reacting. It's never the same twice, but everything built from a large set of building blocks he has created.

Did he create something new? Yes and no... he took existing moves but built very interesting combinations that most others haven't mastered. He sees something he likes and integrates it into his combinations, giving him another variation.

Don't be afraid to "steal" moves/patterns from everybody around you. Even the person you don't like probably has one or two interesting moves you can build on. The ones who think they are being creative probably saw someone else do something similar or they are recombining things they have seen in the past. They may not know that or admit it, preferring to believe they are extra creative, but few people create new things out of thin air.

Playing jazz music gives me some insights into the process (others may do it differently):

• Learn the fundamentals so well you don't have to think about them.
• Expose yourself to the best of the past so you don't have to reinvent the wheel.
• If you like the way someone dances, find out their influences and seek out those dancers or dances.
• Find three primary instructors/mentors over time.
• Experiment with what you already know, creating variations.
• Steal great ideas from others, modifying them to fit your style.
• Put yourself in different situations so you are constantly growing.
• Occasionally try a different instructor, club, and/or dance style to get a fresh perspective.

At the end of the day, there is very little truly new.

Oh... and gathering more patterns doesn't make someone a pattern-monkey, just like learning new vocabulary words doesn't hurt your writing. The more words you have available to express your ideas, the more precise you can be in your writing. More patterns can give you new ideas, as long as you don't use them mindlessly. More on that subject in another article.

I don't mind death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen

My Favorite Tunes: Part 1b of 367

I forgot about it!

"Basicarita" reminded me that YouTube has a great clip showing some social dancing using The Salsa Never Ends tune referrenced in my previous article. (I greatly appreciate the comments! I always learn something.)

The clip features Frankie Martinez and Nancy Ortiz social dancing, plus a gentleman I don't know. The contrast between the two leads couldn't be more interesting.

I don't think Frankie leads Nancy through anything more than a double spin throughout the whole tune, although he does a triple or quad himself at one point. He totally showcases her (a very smart man!) and while at first glance he doesn't seem to be doing much, this is a perfect example of less is much more for the man.

His brilliance is in his simplicity, appropriateness, how much he leaves out, plus his understanding of Afro-Cuban dancing (including the "Hen and Rooster” and “Old Man, Young Woman” metaphors that are foundational to Cuban dancing).

Most intermediate leads could do his patterns easily in their first couple years of dancing. It’s not what he does, it’s HOW HE DOES IT! Most leads will take many more years getting to his level of mastering what to leave out, and being appropriate to the music and his partner.

Check out the other lead for a contrast.

I’ll have more to say on this in another article, but enjoy this clip now--and again, a big “thank-you” to Basicarita for adding a comment and reminding me of this clip!

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner,
and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air.
-Jack Benny

My Favorite Tunes: Part 1 of 367

"SalsaMama" asked me--via one of the comments--to put together a list of songs I like to go along with my "Listening to Music: 100 Times or More" article. Well, it's kind of a long list.

Over 30 years of serious music listening I've created an extremely schizophrenic music list. I may be listening to Celia Cruz, Tito Puente, Sonora Carruseles, or twenty other Latin artists, and the next week I'm listening to Faith Evans, JoJo, Cassie, Usher and/or Janet Jackson. It could be the Beatles, Steely Dan, Toto, Miles Davis, Chick Corea and/or the Brecker Brothers. I actually hate listing any artists because listing a few means I'm excluding hundreds who have contributed to my music education over the years. Ask me a month from now and I could list twenty or thirty others, ignoring those in the list above.

Because I'm too lazy to put together all 367 of them in one massive list, I decided to float them out a few at a time. I’ll focus on Salsa, but take some side trips because I’ve learned about music from so many styles, and I suspect it will help you as well.

Salsa tends to be very “dense,” with many, many sounds layered on top of each other. This is part of my fascination with the music. Sometimes it’s easier to hear concepts when listening to simpler music and my introduction to salsa was more from a Latin-jazz perspective over 25 years ago.

In this 367 part series, I'll continue to expand on the details over time.

Here is one piece of music I think should be in every salsa lover's collection (and every instructor should be playing it at some point for their students):

La Salsa Nunca Se Acaba (The Salsa Never Ends) – by Susie Hansen
http://payplay.fm/susiehansen

Buy a copy. Don't try to get a free copy; pay the buck and let the artist make a few cents so they can make some more music. Or purchase her CD from Susie Hansen's site.

This song is EXCELLENT and starts with the clave, and adds instruments one at a time until the complete band is firing on all cylinders.

This is one of those songs you should listen to 100 times or more per the article referenced above. The introduction alone (up to the first major break) should be played over and over until you hear what each instrument is contributing to the mix.

Download this tune and start listening today. Burn a CD and/or put it on your iPod. Play it as you drive, eat lunch, or go on a dinner date (get those dual earplugs so your date can hear as well). If you only have one set of headphones, ignore your dinner partner for a few minutes, I'm sure they'll understand.

We'll discuss the details and I'll drill down as soon as possible. The more you've listened to it, the more you'll get from our discussions.

Let me know what you think of the tune! (And check out the next article in this series, where this tune is used for a performance.)

Great works are performed not by speed or strength but perseverance.
-Samuel Jackson

Why Does She Tell Me That?

"Be gentle with me," she says. Another says, "Please be gentle!" and I'm thinking, "Are you talkin' to me?"

I'm social dancing at Mama Juana's the last couple nights and I had two women say those words to me after I asked them to dance. And they said it before we were even on the dance floor. Something about me was scaring them. Not enough to turn me down, but enough for them to be concerned for their well being.

Granted, they were both beginner/intermediate follows, and they knew I was an instructor there, but it made me think. Why would a woman say that to her lead on the way to the floor?

Especially me!

I wasn't even dressed in my normal hip-hop, show my underwear, ripped baggy sweats, with a summo wrestler-sized, camo sleveless shirt and my hat on sideways. Instead, I was in my classic black dress slacks, with an upscale pullover shirt. Maybe my face says I pull the wings off flies for fun, or I throw cats in the pool and kick puppies in my spare time, but it really got me thinking.

Why would they think they needed to ask me to take it easy with them? The last thing I want to do is push them over the edge.

Here's my guess: Other guys had pushed them way beyond their comfort level, and they were assuming similar treatment from me. Maybe other, more advanced leads were rough and/or overly aggressive. Obviously they didn't want to look bad, and they felt compelled to let me know they wanted less intensity.

It could also be they know I'm an instructor at the club, but I thought that would bring comfort, knowing I dance with a wide range of ladies.

Guys: Just because we can, doesn't mean we should. I have to guess we are not making some of the ladies comfortable, or they think because we can dance with intensity, we don't know how to scale it appropriately for our current partner.

Maybe it's just me, but I really want to blame the rest of you guys for these ladies' worries about me.

I don't know the answer on this one, so maybe the ladies can provide feedback:

• When would you say something like this to a guy?
• Why would you say yes if you thought I was going to be over the top, overly aggressive or inappropriate?

For the ladies: It's OK to say, "no thank you" or "maybe later" if you think a guy can't dance with finesse and that's what you want. If you do say no, be prepared to go find him later if/when you want to dance. Many guys will not ask you twice in the same night; on the other hand, very few guys will say no if you smile, bat your eyelashes and ask them nicely.

For the guys: To break the tension, if I know I'm dancing with someone who is less experienced, I sometimes say, "Please be gentle with me," or, "Go easy on me," with a smile before we start, cutting the stress and letting them know I plan on making the dance fun and appropriate for them.

Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you cannot grow.
-Ronald Osborn

Stress Reduction: Getting New Articles

I've been told one or two of you wait breathlessly to see if I've posted an exciting article each day.

Before, after, and during work you find yourself ignoring your inbox and checking this blog to see if something new is available. Wouldn't it be nice if someone finally thought about you for a change? I've heard your pain long enough.

I thought about writing an article on relaxation techniques for salsa addicts, but my doctor's degree is still at the printers. Instead, I've added two new options so you can either have articles e-mailed to you the day they are posted OR subscribe to the blog via one of the many readers, allowing you to see all your favorite blogs (especially this one) in one interface.

Both services are easy to get started and you can cancel them any time with a few clicks. You'll see these new stress reducing options in the left column, toward the bottom. Enter your e-mail address and you'll get e-mail from me the night each article is posted. Or subscibe if you already use a feed reader.

Either way, you'll get the joy of articles delivered directly to you fresh from the blog, without all those anxious moments and tedious mouse clicks when accessing your favorites list in the browser. (You have set me as a favorite, right?)

Just imagine a day free from wondering if there is anything new. Hard to believe life could get much better. I'm thinking, 'If others thought of me when I was younger, maybe I'd have less gray hair.' Obviously, I'm here for you, doing what I can to save you from a similar fate.

Please let me know how it's working.

I know... You're feeling better already.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder
what else you can do while you're down there.
-George Burns

Slow Down to Groove Fast

Someone asked me if they should practice a move really slow. I almost hate to let everybody in on the secret, but here I go:

Absolutely YES!!! After mastering a move slowly, you'll be amazed how soon you'll be able to do it faster than you ever imagined. While you are practicing slowly today, in a few weeks/months you'll be way beyond where you would be if you primarily practice at higher speeds.

Musicians and athletes use this technique all the time to master extremely complicated material. Martial artists are famous for practicing their crafts in slow motion, ("wax on, wax off"), because that is the way the masters work it even after they can break bricks (or heads) as needed. The very slow repetition builds mind-body connections that allow extremely accurate motions at high speeds when desired.

When dancing faster many people are sloppy but the speed covers for them, making it tough to see the exact movements. Practicing slow takes all the momentum out of the moves and gives you different insights. It provides the mental bandwidth to focus on the details. It also trains the mind-body connection in ways that are different from practicing a move quickly. This can be more difficult than practicing faster, and it often exposes weaknesses that are not obvious when moves are flying by at breakneck speed.

When practicing slow you either need to count out loud, play slower than normal music, or find a fast song and practice everything with a "half-time" feel, where you take 2 counts to do everything you would normally do in a single count. All moves take twice as long and it can be a very interesting experience. I actually use half-time concepts on the dance floor with high speed music. It can have a very dramatic effect when used at the right time. (I'll detail half-time in another article.)

An excellent tune for slow practice is "Biggest Part of Me" by David Pack. This is an old 1980's hit that has been remade with a salsa feel, (same vocalist who did the original). For my hard core readers; It is NOT a true salsa tune, but an excellent practice tune, with a great salsa feel. I downloaded it from iTunes and for a buck it's worth having in your practice tunes list. I can't remember hearing a tune this slow in a salsa club but I love it for practicing. (This is one of the tunes I use when teaching.)

After working a move or combination painfully slow, then getting comfortable at normal tempo, be sure to switch gears and try it at extreme speeds. In other words, practice very slow, your regular tempo, and then extra fast. The feel of moves change with the tempos and mastering a wide range of tempos make your dancing much more solid. Plus when you are dancing at normal tempo, you have what seems like "extra time" because your mind is comfortable at the faster speed.

That said, practicing fast when you can't do it slow is a recipe for sloppy dancing. I do practice fast and highly recommend it, but that is only after mastering a move at a slow and medium tempo.

I built myself a song-list that has the tunes arranged from mind-numbing slow to blisteringly fast. When practicing I can select tunes from this list and quickly transition between the different tempos. You can put this type of playlist together on your iPod or burn yourself a CD with your favorites arranged by tempo.

Take all your favorite moves and try them very slowly, then regular speed and then wickedly fast. Practicing slower is a master's secret that few use to its maximum advantage. Each tempo is related but uses different thinking processes and using a wide range will make all your motions dramatically better. If you do this regularly, you'll be amazed how much progress you'll make.

Ambition by itself never gets anywhere until it forms a partnership with hard work.
-James Garfield

Questions? (or, Am I Stupid or What?)

I get the last laugh. Many people think I'm the dumbest person in a class, and some people treat me like I have a big red "S" on my forehead, like a tattoo that screams "stupid!" All because I ask more questions than the others. I want clarity because it pays back dramatically over time and often I pass my "smarter" peers in a few months.

If I practice an exercise or motion incorrectly for a couple of weeks or months, I have to go back and unlearn that motion, then learn the correct motion, and often that takes much more time than getting it right from the start. Gaining clarity by asking questions is worth having a few others think I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer. After a few months, my growth offsets any short-term negative impression they may have.

I'm often humbled greatly in classes. I've been in salsa classes where the combination didn't work for me that day, and I had to see it in a second or third class before I got it. In some cases my initial learning is actually slower than many others. Unless something is slow enough, I can get confused. If I let my ego get in the way, it's discouraging because "all the other kids get it" and I don't initially.

I want excellence, and I know if the fundamentals aren't clear to me, it will require relearning later, so I ask now, rather than practice the wrong thing because I'm missing something. I want the details if practical, so I "know that I know." I can then build on those fundamentals and go beyond the initial lesson, so ultimately I'm much further ahead, even if the start up is slower.

Once I get the proper motion at a slower tempo, I can refine it and within a few days or weeks, accelerate the movement. The only time I minimize questions is when I knowingly attend a class way over my head.

For example, I'm a beginning jazz dance student so I take beginning classes and ask tons of questions. I also take a fairly advanced class because I take privates from the instructor. It's way over my head but I know that if you surround yourself with people at a higher level, you grow faster. When I attend my instructor's class, I simply stand in the back and take in as much as possible, knowing I'll miss some things and at points I'm simply an observer, and/or I'm investing in future growth.

Exercises or movements that are easy for most of the class may be impossible for me with my current experience (or lack thereof), so I save those questions for my privates, where he can break it down to my level.

(Side note: Try taking a jazz dance class in your mid forties, having NEVER attended a jazz class in your life. It’s extremely humbling and allows me to relate to new dancers in my beginning classes. When someone struggles with a move in my class, I know exactly how they feel!)

When I'm teaching, and there is someone like me who asks questions, I might have to say, "That's an excellent question; let's deal with that after class, and anybody else who wants clarity on that issue is free to join us." Let the instructor handle it if you ask questions that are outside the scope for the class in general. Nine out of ten times, though, the question you have is the same one that six others are thinking but are afraid to ask.

The rule is: Be bold and ask! Your dancing will improve much faster than those who pretend to "get it" when something is unclear.

Most people over estimate how much they can do in a short period of time
and under estimate how much they can accomplish over a longer time frame.
-Anonymous

Listening to Music: 100 Times or More

Have you ever listened to one song or a set of tunes 10 times, 20, 30, 50 or 100 times? All within a few weeks or so?

Have you ever listed to the same song repeating for 30-60 minutes, then did it again a few times that same week? Only to repeat the exercise again over the next few weeks or months?

You should! Start doing it on your next drive! You will not believe the insights you'll get into music just by listing to a set of tunes over and over and over and over and over. You want the music flowing out of your pores, because so much is inside you it just has to come out or you will explode.

Every dancer should be listening to music when they're driving, jogging, working out or otherwise in a position to hear music while doing something else. There is magic in hearing the same tune(s) 100 times or more, focusing on different aspects of the music.

The goal is to find a few tunes you love, and play them to death, 50 or 100 times (or more). Then leave them for a few weeks and do it again. A few months later, do it again. Listen to different instruments, trying to hear each one by itself (something that takes practice, just like dance movements).

In my car, I have set my CD player or iPod to "repeat" one song over and over while driving 45 minutes to a club. Then on the way home I let it repeat the same tune again, for another 45 minutes. A couple of times per week I drive 20-45 minutes to get to specific clubs I like. I use that time to play tunes I like, trying to find new sounds I never heard before. Look for opportunities to use your iPod, CD, MP3 players or whatever to hear more music.

If I find a new song I really like, I often play it 20 to 50 times in the first two weeks I have it.

Sometimes I'll listen to the same tune in my car during those club drives, singing along with different instruments. (Nobody is in the car, and the windows are up, otherwise I might set the local dogs howling.) I might focus on the bass player or the piano, or pick out one percussionist, or focus on the horn section, trying to ignore all the other instruments. I may figure out how many horns are playing in a section (it varies at different points in the song), how many vocalists are singing, the combination of percussion instruments at different points and how it all fits together.

Sometimes it's fine NOT to focus on anything specific during some of the listenings, instead letting it wash over your brain without worrying about the details. I let it play in the background while thinking about other things. The idea is to go back and forth between picking out specifics and occasionally just taking it all in as one complete work.

I also listen to the same music at different volume levels, varying between a whisper and roaring, and different points between. Your ears hear different things depending on the volume, so don't only listen at one level. (I am careful about overall volume levels being too loud. See my previous article on club music being too loud.)

Of course, I recommend salsa music, but anything you really like is fine. Great music has depth, and you'll hear different things as you listen over and over, especially when you return to a favorite tune two months from now. It's like seeing a great movie over and over. You pick up things you didn't notice the first few viewings. In the music you'll start hearing instruments in the background that were too subtle to hear in the first 25 listenings.

Going to Palm Springs one time to teach at the SalsaMambo Festival, I repeated one song for the complete trip (three hours with traffic). Admittedly, it wasn't "We Will Rock You", but the title tune from Havana Nights (Do You Only Wanna Dance - Julio Daviel Big Band Conducted by Cucco Pena). I love the way the tune flows, the trumpet solo, the way the different instruments combine to create interesting textures, the build-up to a climax, and the great finish. (Ah, the mind starts daydreaming...)

In time, your dancing will reflect a new-found intimacy with the music. In a few months you'll be hearing music with a completely new set of ears, and your dancing will grow as well without your directly trying.

This is one of those "secrets" that few believe because it's so simple. Dancers who enjoy music over and over start hearing things their friends don't hear, and they grow faster than their peers. Get it started today. Find your tune(s) and see how many times you can hear them over the next month, then repeat in a few months and start adding new tunes slowly.

You'll love the results and your dancing will improve without direct effort!

Success is sweet; but it usually has the scent of sweat about it.
-Anonymous

Dancing for the Guys

Ever see guys giving their male friends "high fives" when they leave the floor?
They smile and tell him how great he looked, especially if he did some fancy shines and put the woman through a large set of turn patterns. Sometimes, impressing the guys just isn't the best thing.

Impressing our partners is my definition of success! I'm not going to dance with the guys, so their opinion is of limited value.

In other words, she felt great dancing with you and felt that you provided her an excellent showcase for her dancing. It's how great your partner looked with you, not how great you looked on your own. There is a huge difference.

If you happen to also impress the guys, that is cool, as long as the focus was directed toward your partner and your excellence is reflected with hers. What I want, is for the guys to look at me and say, "Why is SHE dancing with HIM?" Often, the secret is making her feel better about herself when dancing with you, compared to some other more technical leads.

When I was a beginning dancer, I watched Edie the Salsa Freak dance with an "advanced" lead. I was really impressed. This guy made her jump through hoops and she looked like she was having fun...

I had my mouth open with awe as he put Edie through tons of turn patterns, including complex arm twists, fast combinations and lots of spins, including the traditional, "I'll spin her 20 or 30 times because she can do that..."

When they finished I told Edie, "Wow... that guy is amazing" and she looked me in the eye and said "What!?! He paid no attention to me, few of those combinations made sense with the music and he just wanted to show off all his moves." I asked her about the spins and she said, "I know I can spin, and once a guy gets past 6 or 8, I'll do as many as he wants, but it does get boring." She continued, "I mentally get into a state where I'll spin until his arm falls off, but that still doesn't make it fun or interesting, or in any way reflect the music. Past a certain point it's just pointless technique, not dancing."

I was shocked. Here I was watching this guy, all impressed and thinking "Someday, I'll be able to do that." But she wasn't impressed. And today I understand.

If the intense turn patterns matched the feel of the music, and the dance evolved following the ebb and flow of the music, then great! Bring it on. If the lead used contrast--relaxing and then gaining intensity with the music--doing more works great. If he hits the breaks, and gives the lady a chance to breath occasionally, then the intensity might work.

Unfortuantely, many guys perform complex combinations and then get lots of attention from other guys when they leave the floor. They think they are great dancers because their male friends are impressed. HINT: It's a partner dance!!

You'll see a similar effect when the guy is a great spinner and/or has tons of complex solo shines under his belt. While dancing with a partner below his level, he does long involved shines and/or steps back and does solo spinning multiple times in the one dance.

If you are a great spinner, but she is not, it may make sense occasionally to step back and do a triple or quad. A quick flash of your amazing footwork is fine, but most women will be intimidated by that UNLESS the rest of the dance is dedicated to making her look good. A stronger strategy is to dance your solos and shines closer to the level of your partner from a technical point of view. She'll see your advanced solo dancing with stronger follows and realize you were being a gentleman with her. Women love that!

It's okay to lead material that will challenge her occasionally, since women don't want a dance that's dumbed down to the point of boring them. But let her be the star, and save your highly technical solo moves for a partner who is a reasonable match. Use your style and musicality with partners below your level and be sure you are paying attention to the look on their faces during the dance.

You really don't want the guys to be impressed; you want the guys to be impressed with the quality of the women who are lining up to dance with you, because they love the way you make them look and feel.

I can't say it enough. Make your partner look great and the reflection on you will work long after tonight's dance ends.

Others will underestimate us, for although we judge ourselves by what we
feel capable of doing, others judge us only what we have already done.
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Hide The Evidence! Cover for Your Partner

"You make me look great!" That's what I want to hear from my partners.

One of the marks of a superior dancer is that they "cover" for mistakes their partner makes. I can't tell you how many stronger follows have made me look much better than I am. If my partner makes a mistake, my goal is to find a plan B/C/D that makes it look like she didn't miss my lead.

She could miss my lead because she doesn't know it, I wasn't clear, or maybe Brad Pitt showed up in the room and distracted her. In the middle of the dance, it doesn't matter whose "fault" it is that something didn't work; see if you can find a graceful way to get back to the music.

When (not if) something doesn't work, it's my job to make her look good. If the follow is the stronger partner, she can do the same thing for her lead. So many women have covered for my weak leads it's almost embarrassing, but it's part of the growth process.

I'm always impressed by guys leading less experienced dancers and seeing them cover for something their follow missed. I want to be that guy! I'm also very thankful for all the women who have helped me along the way.

Rather than have an attitude about it, learn to enjoy the chance to create something "unique" even if it wasn't what you planned. Your partners will feel much better about dancing with you in the future.

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
-George Burns

Wednesday Class at Mama Juana's

WARNING: This article is a blatant plug for my salsa classes!

In my bio and other places I've let it be known that in addition to my privates, I've taught at Mama Juana's (MJ's) as a sub over the last year or so.

I was informed late last night (while dancing at the club) that starting June 20th, I'm taking over for Ken Baldwin's Wednesday night classes at Mama Juana's, in Universal City, CA. (Ken's going to Alaska for 3 months and then will be back in LA in October. Sometime in the winter he'll be going to Costa Rica or Brazil (Amazon River) to work as a fly fishing guide. He's keeping his condo in Los Angeles and will come back every couple of months.)

The class is from 7:30 to 9:00 pm and targets intermediate dancers who want to refine and enhance their current moves.

If you know anybody in the LA area who wants have a good time improving their dancing, send them to MJ's on Wednesday nights!

I'm proud of this announcement because the other instructors at this club includes Alex Da Silva, Walter Jones, and Rodrigo Guzman, all world-class salsa dancers. Ken Baldwin (who had 3 classes per week at MJ's) has long been a fixture in the LA scene, teaching at MJ's, The Conga Room, and many other venues for years.

Use my Google Salsa Map to get locations and/or directions for MJ's and my other favorite clubs in the LA area.

Sigmung Freud once asked, "What do women want?" The only thing I have
learned in fifty-two years is that women want men to stop asking dumb questions.
-Bill Cosby

Classes vs. Privates (Part 1: Group Lessons)

Group or private lessons? People argue about these questions for hours:

• Should I take group classes?
• Should I take private lessons?
• Are private lessons worth the cost?

The answers are easy if you're a "know it all" like me. The answers are (in no particular order): Yes, yes, and yes!

I was going to outline both group classes and private lessons in one message, but there is just too much to discuss. So I'm breaking it up into two or three articles. I'll focus on group classes in this article, privates in another and maybe write a third, if required, to pull them together.

Learning styles vary among individuals and it’s important to find a situation that matches the way you learn, your budget and your sense of urgency. The stronger dancers generally take both group and private lessons for a while, and you can get great value from both, but the return is different. One size doesn't fit all, so here's my take on these issues:

Group Classes - Strengths and Weaknesses

• Short-Term Lower Cost
• Lower commitment
• Meet New People
• Too Fast/Slow
• Less Details
• Can Lead to Bad Habits

Group lessons are a great way to get your feet wet with a new dance or a new instructor. They work well if you’re experienced with other dance styles, adding to your existing dances. They may be free at clubs (as part of the cover charge) or reasonable at dance studios ($10-20 per class). Many studios offer some type of "all you can eat" plan, where you pay XX dollars per month and can take all the classes you like. This can be a great deal if you take multiple classes per week.

Group instructors teach toward the middle of the crowd and unless you are the average student, the class will be too fast or too slow for you. Few people become excellent with only group lessons, as the format doesn't lend itself to details. If you like details or find yourself slower or faster than the group average, groups can be frustrating and provide less value.

If you are the shy type, group salsa classes can be great (forcing you to mix with others) or terrifying if you don't get part of the lesson and you have to cycle through a set of people as you rotate. (I hated saying to the ladies each time, "Hi, I'm new and I just don't get this pattern yet...") At points it can go the other way, where the pattern is easy for you and you feel great with each partner. You have to try it yourself and see how it works for you.

Group lessons give you a “try before you buy” feeling for the instructor if you're looking for a private instructor, and/or a way to try out a new dance style.

From the instructor's point of view, there is pressure to provide more material than is reasonable because of the range of dancers. People are more likely to return when their lesson is "super sized" even if some students don't "get it," and the details are often left out or ignored. (Like most instructors, I agonize about what to leave out in a group setting, because sometimes you just have to live with the fact that some people are being left behind as you move on.)

In my case, I take group classes for styles I want to learn, but I’m not willing to practice as much. Often these are for non-partner dances. For example, I go to a hip-hop class once or twice per week, and some others as well. I stand in the back of the room and get as much as I can, but often it’s just too fast for me. I would love to be great at that style, but at this time, I’m working hard on other dances, and I rarely practice hip-hop outside of a class. My overall progress is slow and it keeps me really humble.

Classes are also a great way to review fundamentals IF you have a strong teacher and you are reviewing the materials. In other words, I can get value out of a basic class because reviewing and tuning my fundamentals is always a win. While the rest of the class is doing basic footwork, you can do the same footwork and fine-tune it (assuming you know enough to know what to tune).

I take few salsa group classes at this point, since I have a huge collection of instructional DVDs (and I can’t do 10% of that material…). I take privates regularly, both for salsa and jazz (more details in an upcoming blog).

Group classes can lead to bad habits, as the instructors don't have time to correct your details, even if they are obvious. In a salsa class, sometimes other students may "correct" you and actually give you bad advice, while sometimes your partners will inadvertantly encourage your bad habits. Be careful whose advice you take in those classes. Lots of guys like to tell others what to do, but most have no business assisting someone else.

I take a few classes in non-partner dances to gain some dance fundamentals. Some instructors leave me alone because I'm not even in the zip code in their classes.

I've found great instructors will push you and correct you when you are close, and give you space to grow when you are new and/or struggling with a new concept. It becomes a badge of honor to be corrected in many non-partner dance classes. The instructors often only correct the top two or three students and everybody else assumes those same corrections apply to them. (Basically like my Mom yelling at my sister for being out too late, and I'm getting the idea that same thing applies to me!)

Overall, I like group classes, and I take a set of them every week at the Millenium Dance Complex in North Hollywood, CA. Because I committed to a year in advance ($100 per month) I can take all the classes I want each week, time permitting. It allows me to take some classes that are way over my head and just do as much as I can. (Often that's not very much; these are hard core dancers!)

That can be hard on my ego, but I just do what I can, knowing over time it all works together. I have a rule that I never leave a class before it ends, no matter how humbling it is at the moment. I've also learned what I like/dislike from the way different instructors teach, and I apply those insights to my own teaching. (Clearly that doesn't apply if you don't teach.) I’ve learned to stand in the back until I’m a little more seasoned, hiding behind the more experienced people. Obviously in salsa classes we rotate among partners, so hiding in the back doesn't work as well.

Overall, group classes are an important part of the mix, but I take privates for the areas where I want maximum improvement in the shortest amount of time. On your way to excellence you'll probably combine both group and private lessons.

I’ll outline privates and how I work those around the group classes in my follow-up articles on this subject.

They say exercise and proper diet are the keys to longer life. Oh, well.
-Drew Carey

Clave and the Ever-Changing Salsa Dance

I'm reading in a salsa forum and one person comments, "Beware of the Clave... it is returning." No it’s not!

First, it never left. It’s the core of salsa music. Second, it’s much harder to find, since musicians don’t play by "rules" any more than dancers do.

Dancing is like other artistic activity--it's a living, growing art and will not be the same tomorrow as it is today. Salsa has changed considerably in the last 5 years and it will continue changing over time.

Some people hate the tricks, acrobatics, and gymnastic moves from today's competitors, some love it. Traditional styles will continue to influence, but most arts move forward rather than returning to their simpler times. We can all argue whether "moving forward" is better or not, but arts evolve over time with or without our approval.

Salsa continues this evolution and I see growth at both ends of the spectrum. There are more people adding tricks, gymnastics and complex patterns, as some stretch the boundaries in an effort to be unique. There is also a set of people working traditional Cuban styles, some integrating hip-hop, ballroom, modern jazz, tango, and/or other dances. The overall spectrum of "normal" dancing grows wider over the years.

It’s just like jazz music, which started at one point and today includes a wide variety of music that is considered “jazz”. (Musicians argue for hours just like dancers about what is “real” jazz and what is not… but the music just keeps on moving in different directions.)

As for the clave returning, I’m not so optimistic. It would be nice if a majority of the people actually could find 1 and know about the 8-count structure. Counting and the basic musical outline is NOT the end, but I’m amazed how many people don’t understand that simple structure. If they don’t get the simpler 8-count concept, I’m not holding my breath they'll be hearing or feeling the clave anytime soon.

Today it’s harder for people to hear/feel the clave in most tunes, as the music is evolving as well. Many modern salsa songs are based on "implied clave"; NO clave is actually playing, although the rest of the traditional feel is there. Some tunes drop the clave for sections, and at points the horns, other percussion and voices make it tough to hear the clave, if it’s being played at all.

In days past, a vocalist or dedicated percussionist played the clave. Today it’s often the timbale player who holds down that fort, but at points he drops it because he only has 2 hands and there are more instruments within his reach. Clave is a very complex animal and some tunes are 3-2 rather than 2-3, some songs change between the two in the middle of the song AND even 3-2 or 2-3 clave have a traditional variation that changes the feel slightly. (I have another article in the wings will will detail clave and some standard variations.)

That is a very, very, very long way of saying “clave” as we know it from days past is probably not coming back, UNLESS we train up a large set of dancers to feel/hear it AND the musicians decide to focus on it. I hear more and more music in the clubs that is less traditional, with less focus on the clave, and more focus on the vocals and melody. The average dancer hears the overall sound and could care less about the traditional role of the clave. They like the music or they don't, and the clave is simply part of the package or not. I don't see them rejecting a tune because they can't figure out the clave direction.

With the new TV shows showing more modern salsa dancing (with ballroom, jazz, hip-hop and international stylings) it changes the public's concept of salsa dancing. New dancers don’t usually go back to the history of any dance, they are attracted to what it is NOW, and they start there and move forward.

Excellence in the arts generally comes from standing on the shoulders of the past giants. Artists always push the envelope and salsa dancing parallels the music scene in terms of changing over time. Many will wish it was like the good old days of 2007 when we look back from 2012 or beyond.

Change happens, enjoy the ride.

It takes an awful lot of effort to make everything look effortless.
-Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

Free Advice (Don't)

Free advice is worth the paper it's printed on.

Don’t give advice to people who don’t ask you. Unless they are paying for your advice, they really don’t want to hear your negative thoughts. Most people will resent you for pointing out areas they need to improve, even if your advice is “perfect” for them. While I can give you the same advice for free, most people won’t listen to me until they are paying for my point of view.

How many times have you heard someone saying nasty things about their best friend, sibling, spouse or S.O., and then ten minutes later practically get in a fight if someone else says the same thing? I can tell someone my sister/wife/mother is an, “ugly, blood-sucking parasite, not worth the space she takes on earth”. But if you say, “she should consider a different hair style,” those are fighting words.

If someone asks me for advice, I find what I like about their dancing or appearance and highlight it for them. You can find something good about everybody. We are all a work in progress and when I hear a lady likes the way I spin her or the way I lead a certain move, I am encouraged and continue to work on improving my dancing.

It’s easy for me to be a critic and find areas you can improve, but most of the time it’s just not helpful for me to point out your weaknesses. When I’m in the club sometimes I think I’m in an alternate universe because a third of the guys are dancing off the time. Do you think I’m going to break the news to them? NO WAY!!! They don’t care what I think, the ladies with them are having fun, and they are there for social activities, not to impress me.

Am I qualified to give great advice on timing? Absolutely! It’s one of my strengths, but that still doesn’t mean they want to hear it from me unless they are paying for that advice. Plus the club is generally the wrong environment for teaching.

In my case, I could look more stylish and you pointing it my style is "vanilla" or “you don't look Cuban” isn’t some big news to me. I take classes every month from a Cuban salsero and some hip-hop classes to fill out my movement vocabulary and body control. So again, unless you know me really well, I probably don’t need to hear it from you, since I’m already working on my weaknesses.

So the general rule is: Don’t give advice unless you’re being paid.

There are some minor exceptions to this rule. In my "Friends Don't Let Friends Dance Big" article, I mention you should let your friends know if their dancing is turning people off. Here are a couple additional points you should consider:

1) If they are your friend, you SHOULD tell them if they are dancing too large, too wild, they have bad breath, or if they should try a different deodorant. Nobody else is going to tell them, and as the song goes, "That's what friends are for..."

2) Do it discreetly, unless there is an immediate accident waiting to happen. Don’t do it in front of others, but rather in the rest room, on the drive home, or during a break when others can’t hear you. Many people don’t want any feedback, but as long as you deliver it correctly, they need to hear it from you.

All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt!
-Lucy Van Pelt, Peanuts