Back from Palm Springs

I'm toasted... and I haven't posted anything in almost a week!

Most of you know I go twice a year to Palm Springs for a four-day salsa event called the "Salsa Mambo Festival". From Thursday afternoon until Sunday evening, I had the luxury of dancing, teaching, meeting people and thinking about how I could improve my dancing, while helping many others do the same.

What a ride! I'm exhausted, excited, humbled, depressed, energized and having one of those "Dual Perspective" days I discussed in an earlier article. I got up too early most days, didn't nap much and stayed out really late dancing because it was just too much fun to get some sleep.

I met a ton of great people, swam at the pool parties in the desert sun, danced until my feet were hurting in the early mornings and ended up teaching even more than I expected. Over three days I taught in six classes; two of my own, two with Ruby Karen and two, three-hour boot camps with Edie the Salsa Freak.

I learned so much, laughed really hard with some friends and it was a great environment because there were dancers at all levels. My follows ranged from ladies doing basic the first time through three of the world's best follows (Edie, Ruby and Liz Lira). Talk about whiplash! I could hardly get a wider spectrum and I had fun at both ends of the experience levels.

I picked up four new DVDs, watched some wonderful dancers, saw a few that made me wonder what they were thinking, and can't wait to write about what I learned. I'm so much better than a few years ago, but I'm so far from where I want to be. I look forward to sharing with you over the next couple weeks.

I wish I could have danced with everybody I wanted to dance with, but there were only so many hours and too many people. Say hello if you were there!

No matter what kind of diet you are on, you can usually eat as much as you
want of anything you don't like.
-Walter Slezak

Better Dancer: More Partner Lying!

The more advanced your dancing, the less feedback you'll get for the things you don't do well. Partners don't lie to you on purpose. Often they just tell you what they like and conveniently ignore what is a little off. That means you'll need to seek out feedback if you want to be your best. That can be via an instructor (recommended), video taping yourself and/or maybe working with someone else you trust who will actually tell you the truth and who is qualified to give appropriate advice.

This is rare--unless they are getting paid they often sugar coat things. And remember, if you are social dancing with an instructor, few will tell you on the floor what could be fine-tuned unless you are their current student, and even then it's generally not the right time or place.

Don’t mistake a "nice" partner's smile for “I’m amazing!” Maybe you are, but that sexy smile doesn’t mean everything you do is the best it can be.

As a young dancer, we all get plenty of feedback, and most people are open to suggestions since they know they are still figuring it out. Some people are more open to suggestions; many don’t take any negative feedback well, especially in a social dance. This varies from person to person, although men are less likely to take advice than women are. Even if the guy is open to suggestions and feedback, there is a right time and place, and rarely is that the dance floor.

If you’ve matured and have been dancing a couple years or more, and you're anyplace above average, few partners want to say, "You dance really well, but that one move dislocates my shoulder," or, "Wow, you are so sexy, but your steps are so large we end up in another zip code." They may be thinking something similar (except in my case they skip the sexy part), but they are not likely to tell you directly.

Most will enjoy dancing with you because overall, you're better than average, even if a few moves are uncomfortable. Instead of laying the total truth on you, they smile and say, "Thanks for the dance," and maybe they point out what they liked. That is totally acceptable and normal, especially for the ladies telling the guys, because most guys are already thinking about their next dance and can’t be bothered with what didn’t work in the last dance.

If the lady does make a "fine-tuning" suggestion, many guys will shoot the messenger and not dance with her again, even if the woman is totally right. Unless a guy goes and finds a quality female instructor to provide feedback, he generally doesn't realize how much better he could be with some tuning. Most understand their cars need tune-ups every so often, but they don't feel that concept applies to their dancing.

Oh... and the closer you are to someone, the less likely they are to take your advice! This means your significant other (S.O.), who told you last night they were nominating you for the next People Magazine “Sexiest Person Alive” issue, doesn't want to hear your opinion on fixing their dancing. Let someone else “fix ‘em” or you’ll hear about it all the way home. You stay in the "Honey, I'm so proud of your progress" camp, and life is better for everybody.

This especially applies to ladies. You may be the next Edie the Salsa Freak or Josie Neglia, but your male friend probably won't take your feedback on the floor without resistance. On the other hand, an instructor who says the SAME THING YOU HAVE SAID THIRTY TIMES will get an, "Oh, that's a great idea, I love that concept!" from your guy, twenty minutes after telling you the same suggestion was out to lunch. I know, it’s not fair and it’s maddening, but I’ve seen it over and over in classes.

The lady calls me over and says, “He isn’t doing this right,” and that kills the whole night for the guy. He is fuming at her and doesn’t hear a thing I say. The smarter ones call me over and say something like, “I think I’m missing something on this move, can you go over it with us?” The lady knows it's the guys lead, but she pretends she is clueless for a few and then the guy is open to suggestions. Sure you have to treat us guys like little kids sometimes, but I know this isn't news to you.

As you advance, if you want real feedback and fine-tuning, you’re probably going to have to pay for it! I know some guys think learning on their own is a badge of honor; some are proud they have “never taken a lesson in their life,” but frankly, most are missing some simple things that would dramatically improve their dancing. They are simply too proud to work with someone else.

They rely on the fact that a set of women keep dancing with them, so in their mind they are great dancers. They may be, but often times their regular partners don’t say anything negative because on the floor isn’t the right time or place.

Even if you dance with an "instructor" type person, don't expect feedback. If Edie the Salsa Freak is social dancing, she doesn't try to "fix" anybody during her floor time. Instead she focuses on making you look good, and she'll deal with whatever lead she gets and have a good time doing it, all while making you look better. Most instructors focus on having fun with their partners and stay out of "instructor mode" while social dancing.

If I'm dancing with someone and I'm not teaching at that club, I never give advice, even if something is obvious. (I learned that from Edie.) I'm there to dance, not teach, and I'm certainly not there to judge someone else's work in progress. I have plenty of room for my own growth. I'm there to have as much fun as possible with my partners. If something doesn't work, so what! I try and find a way to cover the mistake and make it look like the results where planned.

Hopefully it's obvious you shouldn't expect constructive feedback during social time, unless you two have explicit arrangements in place in advance.

Musicians have producers, great writers have strong editors, athletes have coaches from little league through the big leagues, and most world-class artists seek an outside perspective on their craft. The above average dancers should find some mentors too, since few partners are going to tell them the truth and move them from above average to great.

Even Edie the Salsa Freak and Luis Vasquez still learn from their peers, taking privates and seeking advice from others they respect. If they are performing, they have others they trust watch and coach them, knowing an outside perspective is critical to long-term success.

If they consider an outside perspective helpful, I have to believe the rest of us should consider the same approach as we get better. Your partners aren't going to do it, so find someone who will be brutally honest with you. You'll get even more smiles from your partners along the way, but now they won't be lying to you when they tell you what they think.

Everything comes to him who hustles while he waits.
-Thomas Alva Edison

How Many Instructors (Part 2: Same Sex?)

This is part 2 of my "How Many Instructors" series. Part 1 discusses the recommended quantity of mentors over time, this article focuses on their sex. No, not their private lives (or yours), but when learning to dance, should you take private sessions (AKA "privates") from someone who is not your gender?

In other words, should your private instructor be a man or a woman?

Yes!

That is the short answer, but maybe some details will be helpful.

Overall, it makes sense to learn much of your dancing from someone with the matching chromosome combination. Guys learning from guys, women learning from women makes sense for two of your three primary mentors.

That said, I believe almost everybody should spend some quality time with the best instructor they can find who is not their gender. There are a few instructors out there who can do it all, but they are truly the minority.

First, from the ladies perspective: Most women take lessons with women. It makes sense, most men are not experts in ladies styling, and being sexy in a feminine manner isn’t something most guys do well.

On the other hand, a great male instructor can teach a lady how to be a better follow even if he glosses over some of the style issues. Is her connection too heavy or too light? Is she spinning in place when the lead is implying a traveling turn? Is her styling getting in the way of the lead, or is it an enhancement to the dance?

Most guys will tell you they dislike ladies who “overstyle.” That usually means the styling move disturbs their lead, often by being late to finish their move. That booty roll looks great, but if it ends two counts after the lead expected, he can get frustrated. While a few exceptional female instructors lead well enough to fix the partner connection, most don’t lead enough to fine-tune an above average follow.

A quality male instructor who has danced with a thousand women can help you fine-tune your follow in ways most female instructors don’t even notice. Again, they will probably not be the ideal source of your sexiest moves, but since salsa is a partner dance, having the sexiest moves with little connection is far from ideal. Male instructors can lead ladies through more complicated combinations in slow motion, tuning the placement, connection and feel along the way.

The same goes for the men. An excellent female instructor can dramatically improve your leading skills. She will let you know if you are pulling an arm too soon during the hammerlock unwind, making your partner uncomfortable, or you are spinning someone before her prep is complete. Female instructors tend to focus on how your lead feels for the lady, as opposed to teaching you the latest move of the week.

Females open a guy’s eyes to issues not raised by the vast majority of male instructors. They can dramatically improve the above-average lead, especially because those guys get little but positive feedback. Few partners will tell them the areas that are uncomfortable, because the rest of their lead or dancing is better than most, so why should they deliver any bad news. Most guys would simply shoot the messenger and not dance with them again.

In other words, cross training with someone of the opposite sex can dramatically improve your dancing, and this doesn’t just apply to the beginning lead or follow.

When looking for your three primary mentors, don’t exclude someone of the other sex. They can often make a huge difference in your dancing, primarily by fine-tuning your partner work. Their perspective provides a big win for you, especially if you can humble yourself to take their advice.

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
-Will Rogers

How Many Instructors? (Part 1)

When social dancing, you may have as many partners as you can handle. That is really none of my business. I believe in almost all cases, more is better than less, because dancing with a wider range of people improves your game over time. Since you are doing it out in the open, nobody should care.

I can’t say the same for private instructors/mentors. After teaching privates for over 25 years, and taking from at least 20 instructors across music and dance, I have established a few guidelines that I recommend to others. I will stick to the ones related to dancing for this article.

Here's how I see it:

• You are looking for approximately three primary instructors to mentor your growth
• At least one of your primary instructors should be the opposite sex

Your Three Mentors/Coaches

In an ideal world, over time you'll find three people who will assist you in being the best you can be. You may go through six or eight instructors (more or less) to find the right three that will be your primary mentors, but overall you are looking for around three during the first few years you dance. You can think of these mentors as your dance instructors/coaches.

They should be experienced enough to teach you the steps and techniques for you to move to your next level, but also provide concepts and ideas that may take years to develop. They should be opening your eyes to a much bigger world than just the next sexy cross-body lead variation or a hot shine routine.

These people should inspire you and be the type you trust to be brutally honest with you. Few people realize how difficult it is to find objective opinions!

Your mentor has to be secure enough to tell you the truth, knowing you could stop paying them for privates. If your current instructor is always singing your praises, be careful. That is NOT helpful if you want to be your best. They don't need to be rude, they shouldn't make you feel like a loser, but you should be hearing balanced feedback, including them pushing you when you really deserve a kick in the pants.

If you want unconditional compliments, get a dog, not a mentor. Or call your Mom; mine is always available for telling me how great I am for the cost of a simple phone call (and my Mom is totally objective, we all know that.)

I can also find a few of my dance partners to say, "I love you, man," when they are thinking, "Gee, when he moves his hips like that, he looks a little too feminine." If I do something like that around Edie, she’ll tell me, “That is really not a good look on you! Girls do that… Don’t you ever let me see that move again…” But she delivers it with her trademark grin and fun-loving tone, so I know I need to change something without being offended.

That is a great mentor. Not only can she help me improve my dance, she will point out the issues that everybody else sees but simply ignores because they are too nice or won't say it. She wants me to be exceptional and I respect her experienced opinion. It also helps if they have a sense of humor, but that may just be me. Overall, you want to find someone that is straight with you in an encouraging way.

How Many At a Time?

Maybe you can juggle multiple relationships at once, but when it comes to instructors and privates, you want to go steady for a while with one, generally following the serial monogamy concept. There are exceptions to that, but if you are seeing two at once, you have to juggle things and it can get interesting at points. If you can handle it that is fine, but most people are better off with one at a time.

On the other hand, I don't recommend you take privates or classes exclusively with one instructor for more than a year or two, but the timing depends on the actual instructor. After a period of time, it makes sense to get fresh input from another source. Each instructor has a fresh set of eyes and they will all help you in different areas (and occasionally conflict, but that goes with the territory).

While you are working with your one primary mentor, be on the lookout for the next one, until you have your three over a few years. Once you get to three or so, the next ones you find will simply be icing on the cake.

You may flirt with another instructor for specific techniques or variations and have some flings along the way, but when you find the right three, they will provide 95% of the input you need to become excellent. The rest you'll pick up from direct experience and the temporary flings, but overall once you find your three, you'll go back to those occasionally for fine-tuning as you continue to mature.

In part two of this article, I’ll outline how sex fits into the instructor picture. You won’t want to miss that discussion.

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
-Mark Twain

New Poll Question: What Are You Doing?

Blogger has a new polling option so I'm trying it out.

I'm wondering what others are doing to improve their dancing. The poll question is in the left hand column, toward the bottom.

Check it out and vote, and if you have a question I should be asking, please leave me a comment. If you like the articles in this blog, be sure to subscribe to the free e-mail option as well (just above the poll question). You'll receive the new articles e-mailed to you once per day (they go out around 2 am Pacific Time if I remember).

Improving Your Perspective In One Night: Part 2

OK... now it's 4:13 am, and I've been home around 30 minutes and this is another of those raw postings, where tomorrow I'll wake up and wonder how so many grammar/spelling/typo's could be in one post. I'm tired but I want to get down as much as I can remember before I go to sleep. I'll add links to appropriate sites ASAP in case you don't recognize the names. You can assume any of the named people below are top tier, world-class dancers.

Little did I know last night when writing my perspective follow-up, that tonight would be so different. I show up at the Granada around 11:30 pm or so, a little later than usual for me, but since it runs until 3am, no big deal.

I walk in and the place is smoking with loud music and the energy level is high. The crowd is intense, and that means somewhere between 350 and 450 people dancing up a storm. Chino Espinoza is burning on stage, and everybody is carving out their space on the crowded floor. After paying the cover, I walk toward the floor and I see Liz Lira social dancing and looking great (Mayan champion and more), then I see Janette Valenzuella (another world-class dancer), she waves. Abel Pena (ESPN World champ 2 years running, Mayan champ) is dancing with his girl friend (and they are looking really sexy together) and I'm wondering, "why are there so many A list people here tonight?"

I work my way to the other end of the room, start my first dance and I spot Ruby Karen social dancing 15 feet away from me (another Mayan champ and more). On the next song, I notice the guy who finished first place in the Mayan amateur division this year. He's dancing with a very sexy follow who is making it all look so easy, and they are grinning having a great time. Cristian Oviedo, another world class lead is across the room and I'm starting to wonder, what is going on here?

I mention it to someone else, and they point out that Zulmara Torres (Abel's partner, ESPN World champ 2 years) is also in the room along with Martin Avedano (another ESPN finalist).

Liz Lira sits down right next to me on a quick break, and I ask her if something special was happening tonight. She says she had no idea the others were attending, she just decided to go out, and later Ruby says something similar. They simply happened to all show up on the same night.

The place was crawling with 25 excellent couples, then a few hundred social dancers spanning from beginner to some of the best.

It was amazing, inspiring and humbling all at the same time. Last night I was among the best leads (same place, different crowd) and tonight I wasn't in the top 20 leads, maybe lower. I just looked around, grinned, and realized tonight was my little fish in the big pond night. While I'm able to name a set of dancers, there were another 20-40 people who hang around the best dancers and they are not too far away themselves.

I had a great time, but it was a complete contrast to last night. Being around so many great dancers was inspiring but also made me want to simply go home and practice! Maybe in your scene, you need to attend one of the congresses, and/or drive a little further to get to the hot spot, but seeing the higher end is also a wonderful growing experience, even when it makes it painfully obvious that there is so much to learn.

This wasn't news to me, but seeing so close to the night where I was the bigger fish really pounds the message home for me. I may be able to find someplace where I'm one of the stronger dancers, but 24 hours later I will be just one of the crowd, until I pay the dues necessary to grow and mature as a dancer.

There are always very strong dancers at the Granada, tonight was exceptional, exciting, humbling and amazing all in one.

I hope you can find the same type of inspiration in your scene. If not, plan a trip to LA, NY or one of the other hot spots around the country and be prepared for a treat.

Again, let me know what you do to keep your perspective straight.

Everyone has a talent; but rare is the courage to follow the talent to the place it leads.
-Erica Jong

Improving Your Perspective In One Night

This is a follow-up to my Dual Perspective article from last Tuesday.

Going to clubs or nights outside your normal routine can be interesting. Being in a large crowd with fewer great dancers or the opposite provides a totally different perspective.

I found myself in the unusual position of being among the strongest leads in the room tonight, and that isn't something that happens to me regularly.

(Tired disclaimer: I'm writing this around 2:23 am Saturday morning, after returning from Friday night dancing. It's raw and will get some editing over the next couple days to polish the content/grammar, but I'm going to put it out there before I go to sleep. Please excuse any typos; I usually let all articles age a couple days to provide some editing perspective before publishing. Not this time.)

If you're always a little fish in a big pond, it distorts your point of view just like being a big fish in a little pond. Both extremes are out of balance. Long term I enjoy being in the bigger pond, knowing that it pushes me to grow faster, and it certainly keeps me humble and hungry to grow. Sometimes it can seem like I'll never even be a reasonable dancer, compared with others in my scene.

The Los Angeles area is dense with very good dancers; it's unrealistic for me to be in the top tier consistently, since I haven't paid enough dues. I tend to fall into the "above average" lead around here, and I'm confident I'm on the path to excellence. Many nights I'm surrounded by Mayan champions, ESPN champions and/or a large set of people who could be competitive at the highest levels if they choose. I may be dancing next to Walter Jones, Abel Pena, Alex DaSilva, and/or ten other couples who are on the road to being world class. Many of these people have danced years longer than me, and they have more experience on the floor.

Tonight (Friday) I went to the Granada, the same club I generally go to on Saturdays. But Friday's crowd is different, less experienced overall and it's less crowded.

Being in the top tier in a room with 300 people or so is interesting, and helps me balance my perspective. A few years ago, I was at the bottom of the food chain in terms of ability and experience. I was the tiny minnow in an ocean of quality dancers. Without my perspective from being a musician, I'm not sure I would have survived the beginning stages.

In an ideal world, you and I will experience at least two perspectives. If you are the whale in the pond, go find a bigger pond occasionally to keep yourself humble AND to gain perspective on how much further you can go. If you already swim in the bigger ponds, it's nice to occasionally find the smaller club scene and see how the bigger fish feel. In my case, it doesn't make me a better dancer directly, but it gives me confidence that I'm making progress, even though I know I'm not even close to my potential.

It's sort of like being in a long line at Disneyland. At first you are at the very end of the line, and it seems like it snakes around forever. You get talking with your friends or family and in 20 minutes you realize you've moved way down the line and now there are hundreds of people behind you. You still may have a ways to go, but you are much closer to the ride than the new people joining at the back of the line.

That's how I felt tonight. I've made tons of progress over the last few years, but I'm still not getting on the ride yet. Only the line in dancing almost never ends, but it's still nice to see the progress occasionally.

I have to admit I'm the personality type that feels best with constant improvement. While I may be better than some others, I primarily compete with my concept of my potential, so it always provides plenty of room for improvement.

For me, going out on a different night and/or different club is helpful to keep my overall perspective, and I suspect it will do the same for you.

I'm curious; what do you do to keep your perspective fresh? Let me know via the comments link below.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
-George Burns

Tuning Your Lead Tonight: Try Finesse

Dancers often talk about a "heavy" or "light" lead. Sometimes they say "rough" or "wimpy" or "soft" and obviously, some guys lead stronger than others, and women notice the differences.

I call the ideal lead a "finesse lead," rather than a light vs. heavy or soft vs. strong lead. And frankly, I never want to be considered a "rough" lead, even if I use a "powerful" lead with some women. Like taking a performance car and driving it hard. You may drive fast overall, but nothing says you need to accelerate or break harshly, squealing the tires all the time.

One of my goals is that women think the lead I give them is "my" lead, when instead it's a reflection of what works best for them. If I'm doing my part, they don't know my lead may be quite a bit stronger or lighter than my "normal," depending on their responses. When it works, they just know it feels good and clear to them, and it's just "right" in terms of intensity and feel.

A few important concepts:

• When you start paying attention to your connection, you are ahead of most guys
• No two partners are identical and you should adjust
• They should think it feels "right" when really you are simply matching them

Edie the Salsa Freak teaches a connection principle in her bootcamps, making sure beginning/improving dancers get a feel for what she calls a "number five" connection. In that connection, both partners provide equal resistance to their partner.

For example, in open position, the lady pushes down with the same force as the guy pulls up. They balance each other. Same with closed position, where the lead puts his hand on his follows shoulder blade. She pushes back on his hand and he pulls gently so they create a comfortable, equal connection. All the physical connection points start off with a balanced, equal push/pull between the partners.

That is the perfect starting point during classes or with an unknown, new partner. It gives you a feel for a quality connection between the couple. I want to reiterate that it's a starting point, not a unbendable rule. For example, when spinning in the club scene, you'll find some ladies want much more power from the guy during the spin, and many of the best want minimum power but maximum clarity.

Our job as a lead is to figure out what our partner needs, and adjust our lead to match their return connection. If your partner is a high performance spinner like Edie or Ruby Karen, both of whom spin like the wind, they don't need us cranking them hard. They are more like high performance sports cars--just a tap on the accelerator and they are quickly in high gear and moving 90 miles per hour.

I've danced with a couple world class, brand name ladies who require MUCH more pressure to do the same spins. Anything I can lead, these ladies can do with excellent style, making me look much better than I am. But if I treat them like Edie or Ruby, they will think I want a single when I was thinking double, or do a double when I was thinking triple and we end up behind the music. They provide more back resistance than Edie or Ruby so unless I adjust, they think I'm a wimp and/or a poor lead.

You can often figure out the lady's style with the first couple spins and some cross-body leads. Some ladies also dance more with guys who are very strong (or weak) and if they dance too many dances with someone outside the "middle" range, they will start feeling that outside range is "normal."

They will expect the same from you, even if it's heavier or lighter than you normally lead. The finesse leader will adjust up or down, and work on making the lady comfortable, no matter what her connection/resistance preferences.

Next time you are dancing in the clubs, take note of the feel of the different ladies in terms of their back resistance toward you. Immediately you'll notice some push back harder than others; see if you can adjust to match their feel. Ladies who are lighter should get a lighter lead from you; heavier pushback should be meet with an equal response.

Over time these adjustments become automatic, but for a while you'll want to think about them, notice the differences between your partners and note the response as you adjust. I suspect you'll find your partners telling you how much you've improved, even though you are really just matching their feels.

If you give them the feel they like you'll quickly become one of their favorite dancers, and they don't need to know you adjust your lead for others. All they know is you feel "right" to them, and when that happens, they will seek you out for more dances.

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.
-Elbert Hubbard

Dual Perspective: I'm Great, I'm a Loser, What About You?

We all go through it:

• I'm getting it!, It's no use!
• I'm amazing!, I suck!
• It'll never work!, I knew it would happen!
• Why not me?, Wow, that worked!
• It's easy for them!, She looks great with me!
• They're laughing at me!, They're laughing with me!
• She's avoiding me! She thinks I'm hot!
• She is bored with my patterns!, She loves the way I dance!

Seesh... It's enough to give me whiplash just thinking about how much I love and hate dancing at points. Some nights I feel like I own the club, the next like I should go home and watch "The March of the Caterpillars" on Animal Planet for the next two years, because I'll never be good at this.

I had the same thing with my music.

A long time ago, I developed something I call "The Dual Perspective". Here's a summary:

I am nowhere near my potential and I deserve a kick in the pants to accelerate my growth. But I have also made tremendous progress since I started and I am proud of how far I’ve come. As the old commercial used to say, "Sometimes I feel like a nut, sometimes I don't."

While you may not be thrilled with your current position, we are all a work in progress and it is often helpful to remember how far you’ve progressed since you started.

I try to keep both perspectives in balance. On any given day I can feel like I own the club, because things are going so well--so much better than a year ago!--and the next night feel like I’ll never get it to a reasonable level. I can have a great dance where my partner and I complement each other and the music, and another dance the same night where I wonder what is wrong with me. Most of the time those are different nights, since we tend to gain momentum in a positive direction on the up nights, while it goes the other way if things aren’t working.

As a young musician, I found that there can be a depressing lag between all the practicing and actually seeing it work on stage. I remember my original drum instructor, Gene Stewart (a Juilliard grad and Motown session player) telling me, “If it doesn’t work effortlessly on the gig, you simply haven’t practiced it enough.” Gene told me time and time again, “When practicing, practice! Strive for perfection. But when performing, forget about all that stuff and play music. If it’s not working some nights, practice more and it will happen.”

Today I see the same concepts apply to dancing.

Just keep chipping away at it, doing something every day, even if it’s 5 minutes of shines or learning more about the music while listening during your drive time. When things work at the club, be sure to pat yourself on the back. When it’s one of those down days (and everybody has some), go back to fundamentals and practice. It will all show up down the road as long as we stick to it.

You’ll never really dance up to your full potential as it’s an unending process, and don’t get down on yourself if something takes you longer than you would like. Everybody has something that is a challenge for them.

Keep the dual perspective; at some point, your worst nights will be better than most people's great nights, and while you'll still have plenty of room for improvement, you'll be in that above average group and find partners hunting you down for a dance.

Stay humble, stay balanced, never stop learning, and keep both perspectives in mind.

Until Eve arrived, this was a man's world.
-Richard Armour

How Long Before I Get Good?

When I was just a new pup in the dancing scene, I thought as soon as I lapped up a few more moves and took a few more classes, I would be a pretty good dancer. I tried to go to every class possible, thinking I was just a few classes away from everything working great.

Well here's the good, bad and ugly. You can have fun salsa dancing in the first 4 to 12 weeks, plus or minus 6-18 months, depending on your personality and previous dance experience. If you want to be an elite dancer, the average person is a 3-5 year work in progress to get to the upper 20%, then another 3-5 years to get into the top few percent. (BTW - Those are exact scientific time lines, with no room for variations.)

Even though it had taken me years to become a decent musician, I thought dancing had to be easier. While I had never danced, I've watched hundreds and hundreds of dances as a musician, and I knew the music. I mean, look at all those other guys doing it. Some were much heavier, smarter, dumber, less coordinated, uglier, older, younger, less athletic, less coordinated, unable to rub their tummy and pat their head at the same time, and a few looked like they needed medication to calm down a bit. It seemed if they could do it, I should be able to make short work of this. (New guys look at me that way today.)

If you can already dance anything, including the macarena, robot, a little Michael Jackson moon-walking, jazz, ballet and/or pole, river or country line dancing, and you would do it in public in front of a group of people, you will probably be having fun in the weeks range. If you did gymnastics, martial arts, cheerleading or other sports requiring balance and body control, your time line will be significantly shorter than some others.

If you are like me, someone who NEVER danced once in a club until after age 43, it may be a little toward the longer end of that scale. Fun doesn't take long but real competence does take some time.

Here's the funny thing: It really doesn't matter except to you! Nobody looks at me and says "What a loser, he took two years to do things others were doing in six months." In some areas I started much slower than others, but I've also blown past many of my peers who started with me because I worked on fundamentals longer then most, which allowed me to accelerate my learning AFTER a certain tipping point. But there are always a bunch of new people starting to dance (and hopefully next year some of your friends will start), and they don't know I was a slow starter.

I remember people saying "just have fun." Well guess what? I'm that type of person who doesn't find my personal incompetence fun. For me, I needed a baseline of skills and THEN I started to have fun with it. I see other guys having fun the first few weeks they are dancing. But I hated asking someone to dance with this type of line: "Would you like to dance? Oh... by the way, I only know about 2.3 moves, and I'm not sure how they really fit together yet, so be patient with me..."

There are some people who have looked like me during their start-up period, but their personality is such that they didn't care (or they consumed some liquid courage at the bar.) I wish I were that type of personality sometimes, but that is just not within my comfort zone. But I always knew once I passed a certain point, I would also be having fun and I wanted to be in that above average group.

Today, most of the time I have a great time, but I always look forward to being a stronger dancer. It's certainly like all the other arts, you never truly master dancing, you simply learn how to enjoy the ride and look forward to the next step in the journey.

Now, even as a more mature pup, I still drool sometimes, watching the more mature dancers and wanting to be at that level. But we all get to a point where the ride is fun, even if we get a few bugs in our mouth along the way.

If you are wondering when you'll be good, realize that "good" is a sliding scale that changes as you become more mature. Instead of shooting for being "good" by date XX, you might consider getting better regularly, picking up new tricks every week or month. What is facinating is if you just don't stop, and you continue to learn, you'll look back and be amazed at your progress.

Keep taking lessons and classes, dance as much as you can, find a few other people at your level, and keep refining what you know. You may do it faster or slower than me, but don't stop learning.

Enjoy your ride and stick your head out the window, enjoying the music blowing by: it's worth the effort.

If a thing is worth doing, it's worth doing slowly... very slowly.
-Gypsy Rose Lee

Great Style: Back to the Future (Part 2 of 2)

This is second part of my “Great Style: Back to the Future” series. I’ll assume you’ve read part one of this series but in case you haven’t, here’s a minor recap:

The “Baarns Direct-Indirect” (BDI) learning approach assumes you combine direct learning from your favorite salsa dancers or instructors AND indirect learning by going back a generation or two to their influences. Generally, you will find additional moves and feels you like and often you’ll work your way back to those roots as well.

Here’s a real world example: Let’s say you are learning salsa from an instructor who is primarily teaching LA style salsa. You notice they are doing some moves you like and they mention that those are “Cuban” in origin. Rather than learn this instructor’s version of Cuban exclusively, watch people who specialize in Cuban dancing, learn those fundamentals and then you can integrate the parts you like into your dancing.

Here’s how that worked for me:
Luis Vasquez used to live and teach in LA. He has some outstanding Cuban motion in his dancing and I was taking some lessons from him before he left for a year in Spain (now he is in Italy). I paid him for a series of privates, and at one point, I asked him, "Please teach me that Cuban motion you use so nicely." He looked me in the eye and said, "No, that doesn't make sense."

As you might imagine, I was a little bothered by that answer, figuring I had just paid him a decent chunk of change for a set of lessons. You'd think the guy would teach me what I wanted.

Instead he said, "Go check out this guy named 'Moon-yain-co' who teaches at LuLa Washington's in LA. He's from Cuba, has only been here a few years and he's my favorite authentic Cuban dancer in the LA area." Of course, he didn't know how to spell his name, but I did some searching on the web and tripped over the class. Now I know the guy’s real name is 'Pedro "Muñeco" Aguilar' and he is amazing. I started attending his weekly classes and took a few privates from him.

When explaining things to me one time, Muñeco said, "This move is from my village. You can always tell people from my village because we do this part a little different." I realized the differences between LA and NY style span a few thousand miles. In Cuba, some villages can be almost walking distance apart and they still have identifiable "regional" styles.

You’ll see plenty of salsa dancers doing Afro-Cuban moves that imitate using a machete (a long cutting knife used to chop down vegetation). When doing those moves in a private, Muñeco goes to the trunk of his car and pulls out a real machete and starts showing me how the moves really work, with a real machete. He demonstrates and then hands me the machete and I immediately decide I’m passing on "trying it", fearing I will become the world’s latest one-armed salsa dancer.

The point is this guy lives it and while I love the way Luis had integrated Cuban into his dancing, Muñeco (or someone like him) is the right place for you and me to learn authentic Cuban motion. He is not trying to be a flashy LA salsero, he just dances what he feels based on growing up with it.

Today my overall Cuban is a work in progress, but from being in his class and taking a few privates, I recognize exactly what it looks like, though I can’t yet do it well, even with a gun to my head. I hear certain tunes and I can see Muñeco dancing up a storm, and over time, I'll be able to integrate those feels into my dance. When I see others dancing salsa with a Cuban flavor, I have a pretty good idea if they are faking it or if they really know.

Muñeco also turned me on to some DVDs of authentic Cuban dancers, so I could further my studies. Click here for a taste. Disclaimer: It's a QuickTime clip, it's large and it takes a long time to download. Download it anyway because it's pretty cool.

I ended up purchasing 4 DVDs and now use them as a reference, feeding my mind so that later authentic Cuban style will become part of my dancing. Rather than exclusively learn Cuban moves from salsa instructors, it makes sense to feed our minds with images from the source.
From another perspective, lots of people are doing moves with a hip-hop flavor. Some dancers are integrating body waves, shines, glides and other moves that come out of hip-hop, hustle and/or west coast swing (among others).

There is nothing wrong with learning some of a salsa dancer’s hip-hop influenced moves, but the ideal path is go back to the source and roots of hip-hop. You might take some hip-hop classes and/or watch hip-hop instructional DVDs, and learn the roots of that dance.

If you want to see some amazing hip-hop inspired dancing, purchase the Usher: Truth Tour DVD and watch it a hundred times.

It's one of my favorites, and I never liked Usher before seeing this live show on DVD. His dance team is a set of absolutely stunning, excellent, world-class dancers, and the staging and choreography are amazing. The live versions of his music are a dramatic improvement over his studio CDs. The eight dancers backing him can dance as a group or freestyle with the best of them, and in the first two tunes, this team blew me away.

Like any great artists, they make it all look so easy and fun it seems within reach immediately. Then the rude awaking hits when you try to imitate some of the moves. These are extremely versatile dancers, combining hip-hop, jazz, b-boy/b-girl (AKA “breaking”) and making it look like my mama could do it.

If that type of show inspires you (and it does me), then watch them, learn from them and go back to their sources, the roots of hip-hop. Those roots come out of the 1970’s with grooving, locking, popping and a set of social dances that set the stage for today’s more complex variations.
If you want truly authentic hip-hop flavor, check out the guys who work the foundational moves and learn the social dances of the day. Ill Kosby has a MySpace page and this guy is the real deal when it comes to the history of hip-hop, funk, poppin', lockin' and such. He's forgotten more than most people will ever know about the roots of modern hip-hop. His “BASIC MOVEMENT PRINCIPLES” DVD should be a part of everybody’s collection who wants to understand the roots of the current hip-hop scene.

Check out this YouTube video to get an idea of this old school style.

Once you've seen the roots you'll recognize today's dancers are doing advanced versions of moves that started 20-40 years ago.

I used to think some of today’s salsa dancers where creating new materials and now I know they are smart enough to learn from the past, and then add their own style on top of the original materials.

Again, the big point is learn from your local instructors, but be sure to also find their influences and go back and check them out. It doesn't matter if it's Cuban, hip-hop, West Coast swing, or square dancing; learn from the people who started the movement, rather than just the current move of the week. There is nothing wrong with learning from specific instructors or grabbing moves from a dancer you like, but in parallel, it makes sense to get to their roots as well.

Of course, awareness and knowing the roots and what is authentic is only part of the equation. You still have to practice, and while being aware and recognizing a specific style is the first critical step, the practice phase can be weeks, months or years, depending on your starting point.

By going back to the source, your own style will develop and it won’t be a clone of your local instructor. The depth learned over time will provide you a different perspective, giving you materials others only dream about. They’ll think you’re brilliant (and you probably are), but you’ll know you are using the time-honored tradition of standing on the shoulders of the past giants.

That is not the short road, but if you want great styling, these direct-indirect principles will take you there. Over time, you will blow past your peers who simply copy their favorite dancers directly.

Everyone has talent; but rare is the courage to follow the talent to the places it leads.
-Erica Jong

Great Style: Back to the Future (Part 1 of 2)

"I want to look just like you!"

Those are words I've rarely heard when someone watches me dance. I'm confident that will change over time as my dancing continues to mature. As I've stated many times, looking great myself is secondary compared with making my partners look great, dancing to the music and providing a smooth, clear lead so my partners are showcased in the best possible light. The response I get from my partners is very positive overall and I believe my “partner first” approach is one most guys would find helpful.

You could say my current success is based on the reflection of my partners, but like most guys, I want it all.

So how do we improve our look and style as we mature? As a dancer, I recognize the path, because I've been down it as a musician. It is NOT a quick fix type of thing, but rather something you start now and it shows up over time, with excellent results for those who go along for the ride. Unless you have previous dance experience (I didn’t), don’t expect great style in the short term. It takes time to learn to express yourself with your body.

Here are the principles I learned as a musician, modified for salsa dancing:

• The best salsa dancers are great dancers who love salsa, rather than just great salsa dancers.
• The better dancers have depth, and a respect for the historical roots of salsa and other related dances.
• Great stylists tend to integrate other styles into their salsa and they learn via a direct-indirect approach.

It all boils down to two complimentary concepts which I call the “Baarns Direct-Indirect” (BDI) learning approach.

Most people find a favorite dancer or instructor, and they learn and copy all their great moves directly. It makes sense to learn from the best salsa dancers you can find. This is how most dancers start and many people stay with this approach for many years. However, if that is your primary or only strategy, over time you’ll look like a watered down version of your favorites.

The real “trick” is identifying dancers you like, researching their influences and going back to the source. This is the “indirect” part of the equation. This is NOT an either/or equation. When you combine direct learning from your favorites AND indirect learning by going back a generation or two to their influences, you’ll be worlds ahead of the dancers who primarily learn from their favorites directly. Since it takes some time, the sooner you start including the indirect part of the learning equation, the better off you'll be. In the longer term, you'll end up passing many of your peers who focus on learning directly from their favorites.

What does this mean for you and me? How about some examples to illustrate these concepts?

I’ll expand on this Baarns Direct-Indirect concept in Part 2 of this series including examples and links to materials you can use to improve your dancing.

(I’ve already written 90% of that article, so you'll see it in the next couple days.)

In time even a bear can learn to dance.
-Russian Saying

Classes vs. Privates (Part 2: Privates)

In the first part of this series, I discussed group classes. This article focuses on the pros and cons of taking private lessons. If you didn't read the first article, titled Classes vs. Privates (Part 1: Group Classes) I suggest you do so when you get a chance. (I'm thinking "before or after this one," but that's just me.)

To review just a little from the previous article to set the stage...

Group or private lessons? People argue about these questions for hours:

• Should I take group classes?
• Should I take private lessons?
• Are private lessons worth the cost?

The answers are easy if you're a "know it all" like me. The answers are (in no particular order): Yes, yes, and yes!

Learning styles vary among individuals and it’s important to find a situation that matches the way you learn, your budget and your sense of urgency. The stronger dancers generally take both group and private lessons for a while, and you can get great value from both, but the return is different.

One size doesn't fit all, and here's my take on private lessons:

Private lessons with the right instructor are the fastest way to improve your dancing. While I like group classes and take them regularly, there is a major difference when the instructor focuses exclusively on improving me! I may be MUCH slower than average picking up a specific combination, move or concept, so in those areas they can slow it down to MY level, which may be dramatically slower than you need (or in a few cases, faster than someone else.)

For example, because of my music background, they quickly figure out I probably know more about the music than they do, so we rarely invest any time on the music unless I decide it would be helpful. That doesn't mean I can't improve my musicality, just most instructors are going to spend less time on that subject than they might otherwise.

Since I'm paying, I can also be specific about what I want to learn or explain my focus and goals, and the instructor doesn't have to worry about making everybody in a class happy. If I’m making progress, we both win.

I also record every lesson on video, so I can review later this week and months from now. As I’ve grown in my dancing, reviewing previous lessons has allowed me to fine tune countless details that were over my head the first time they were explained. I may be so focused on my footwork, I don’t even remember the comment about my hands or the specifics about the partner connection. The video allows me to get more value out of each lesson, because I review the main points the next week, and often find new insights months later.

Side note: I refuse to take lessons from someone who doesn’t allow me to tape. BUT I will sign a document stating the videos are for personal review only and that posting them for others to view is outside the scope of our payment arrangement. I know a couple instructors have been burned by students taping a lesson and then posting it to YouTube without the instructors permission. That is totally unacceptable in my book.

Even Edie the Salsa Freak takes privates as she is traveling around the world teaching others. If she sees someone doing something interesting, she will arrange a private with them, even if they are not a professional instructor. With over a decade of professional dancing, you would think she could pick things up just by watching (she can). However, she sees the value in getting things slowed down, picked apart and recombined in ways that are only possible in a one-on-one setting.

Since I’m a little older than most in the salsa world, I want accelerated learning. Privates also keep me honest in terms of practicing. If I’m in a group class I can hide a little; nobody knows if I practiced. Knowing I have a private three days from now motivates me to practice. I hate going to a lesson unprepared, so I work harder between sessions.

The question is often “Is it worth it?” If you are in a hurry to learn, private lessons can dramatically reduce the time from "what the heck are they talking about" to "wow, you look really great on the floor." In my experience, three months of privates will trump six to nine months of group classes.

The primary problem with private lessons is the start-up costs. Private instruction ranges from $40-$120 per hour (or more) so it's obviously more expensive than a $10-$20 class in the short term. On the other hand, if you go to a group class, miss a detail and practice a bad habit for a few months, you may take a few months to undo that habit. In privates a decent instructor will call you on the issue before it becomes an ingrained habit (or minimize the damage already done if something is already mindless.)

Your private instructor has a new set of eyes and can do more for your dancing than you've ever imagined, and because you are paying them, you tend to actually listen to them and make changes.

I’ll go even farther and let you in on a secret of mine: Privates allow me to get dramatically more value from my classes, because I know details the instructor just can’t go over in a group setting. I’m practicing the same exercises as the others, but working on the finer things I learned from the privates. In other words, I use the group classes as part of my practice time, but I’m doing the class moves with a clearer mental picture than most.

I see others in the class “doing” the moves, but they clearly don’t realize the instructor is leaving out many details. They think they are doing great when I can see they are simply building bad habits. And the most interesting fact: after a few months, I get other students coming up to me and saying something like, “Wow… have you ever improved.” They are still doing the exercises as they did in the past and my feel has dramatically improved, because I have the motivation to practice. (Hey, I’m paying real money, and I refuse to throw it away by not practicing.)

For me, the ideal scenario is as follows:

Take a few group classes from the instructor, figuring out if you like the way he/she teaches. Then take a few privates from them, and continue to take their group classes. In the privates discuss any issues missed in the group classes and have the instructor verify you are doing everything up to your potential.

And the bad news: Privates don’t take away your responsibility to practice! If you don’t practice the material, privates are mostly a waste of money, although if you are taping, you’ll get the value when you practice later. As stated earlier, taping the lessons has provided huge payback for me, allowing me to fine-tune something months after the lesson. The instructor may have demonstrated something specific, but as I mature I can find other things that didn't apply in the initial lesson.

For the cynics out there: Instructors (including me) can make more money doing group classes--often a lot more. I’m talking about this because I still take privates, I believe in the value of them, and I’ve seen amazing results because of them. I’ve had some months where I’ve averaged two privates per week, so I have and still do put my money where my mouth is on this one.

If you can pull it off, save up and take a set of privates (5 to 10) before evaluating their value. Assuming you are practicing, you'll find enormous payback from your investment.

A dress has no meaning unless it makes a man want to take it off.
-Francoise Sagan