It's Hard to Hate Your Partner While Dancing

Ever get into a fight with your S.O. (significant other) on the way to the club? Or the dinner conversation didn't go as planned and nobody is talking in the car? Maybe you shouldn't have told her she looks a "little heavy" in that outfit.

The funny thing is, once you are reasonable dancers as a couple, it's hard to continue being mad while dancing. You might be upset before, you might be bothered after, but you have to work to be mad during the dance. Few couples can pull that off, and even fewer have the desire to.

There just is something about a good dance that takes the steam out of most couple fights. It may not last all night, but the edges are softer after a great dance. It's like watching kittens or puppies playing; they have so much fun and they are so cute, you have to laugh at 'em.

Part of the reason is we learn to pretend we are happy while dancing with others. Ladies smile at guys during a dance when they would run the other way if they saw them on the street. The better leads protect their partners from harm (other dancers), and pretend they love their partner who is struggling with a basic CBL. It's part of the culture to put your best face on during the dance.

As you become a more seasoned dancer, it's tough to turn that off just because your S.O. deserves to sleep alone for the next two months. Remaining totally bent out of shape after a decent dance is difficult, even if she considered committing justifiable homicide on you a few hours ago.

The Big Exception
The fastest way to have your partner more upset is to help them with "corrections" or "suggestions" unless you are in a training/practice session and the mood is right. When is the mood right? Rarely! Sorry, but it's borderline never for many couples.

Unless you are pro dancers, you won the last "Dale Carnegie: How to Win Friends and Influence People" award, and training is your business, correcting your partner is a recipe for conflict. You better do it immediately after a great love-making session, a gourmet meal, and winning a few thousand at the poker table. Otherwise, skip it and find a coach/instructor that can deliver the corrections.

For some reason, most people don't want to hear it from their S.O. Most don't take it well, even when their S.O. is totally, absolutely, unquestionably right. And I'll take one for the team and let you know that the guys are the worst in this respect. In the vast majority of cases they'll shoot the messenger rather than listen to reasonable advise from their S.O.

The right frame of mind is dancing as if your S.O. were someone you wanted to date, and you need to impress them with your attitude.

Next time you're working out of fighting mode, dance a few tunes, but use the same skills you use while dancing with others, playing up strengths and ignoring weaknesses. It makes the evening better for most couples, even if you aren't totally over the fight. A smile or two takes the sting out of most of life's rough edges. It may not work after you've gone nuclear on each other, but for most disagreements, dancing is the perfect way to work yourself back into their good graces.

Even with all the fighting among adult cats, there still seem to be plenty of kittens around.
-Samuel Carbin

Practice Space and Spousal Upgrades

Ever wished you could have a dance studio in your own home? It's probably easier than you think.

With a little creative thinking, anybody can have a practice space right in their home, condo or apartment. You probably have more options than you've been considering.

A popular but costly way is to take out a home equity loan, cash in your stocks, inherit some money, win the lottery, or marry a wealthy person consistent with the "new dance you" (divorce current spouse if appropriate). Hire a contractor and gut part of the old billiards hall or simply put an addition on the estate. Remove carpet and upgrade to hardwood floors, add floor to ceiling mirrors on a wall or two and purchase flat screens with surround sound audio to watch instructional DVDs. Ceiling fans, laser lights, disco balls and a wet bars are nice, but you can always add those later. (Maybe the next spouse?) This option is ideal during your first few months of dancing, because if you drop out for any reason, you'll still have a cool place to hang out. Simply add a few Persian rugs, a popcorn machine and some new seating, and you can watch Dancing with the Stars in luxury.

A few people may feel uncomfortable hiring a contractor, even if the idea of upgrading the spouse is appealing. (I know, if he leaves one more sock on the floor, you're outta there.) Let's explore some other options just in case you want to keep the current couch-potato spouse a few more years.

You could consider doing this on the cheap, building as you go. A minimalist practice area really requires only three elements: a serviceable floor, mirror(s) and a music player. A DVD player/computer is also handy, but not mandatory. Let's look at some options.

Sure, hardwood floors sound ideal in every room of the house, but maybe your budget is slightly lower. Think about how much space you get at the average crowded club. If I'm lucky in LA, it's going to be maybe 3 to 5 feet or so. That means I should be able to practice 95% of my moves in a small space.

If you are budget-challenged to the max, you can always practice in the bathroom. Countless world-class dancers say they learned to spin and do shines in the restroom. Now, I'm simply taking their word for it, although I have practiced a few times in my bathroom using the mirrors after showering (ugly visual provided free of charge).

Most home bathrooms feature a flat floor, a mirror and a small amount of space, probably larger than most club dances. Partnering in the bathroom isn't ideal, but solo practice is realistic in many restrooms. If you have small tiles on the floor, that may be tough in heels, but there are always restaurants and gyms in the area, and they are also an option, if you don't mind a short drive.

Many office buildings have attractive restrooms for practice purposes; feel free to spin or practice there as well. I'm sure your co-workers won't wonder about why you take 10 minute bathroom breaks every 45 minutes or so, and take your iPod with you. If I was at an office all day, I would sneak in a few spins and some basic footwork during any breaks, but that's just me. I don't recommend you take partners into office or public restrooms; that may cause more gossip than it's worth. "But officer, we were practicing our dancing..." isn't the best way to end a practice session.

If you are committed to staying home, and your restroom doesn't seem perfect, then let's discuss some flooring solutions. If you have carpet of any type, consider these options:

Flooring Option A: The carpet chair mat
If you've ever been in one of those cubical farms in an office building (many people work in one every day), you've probably seen a chair mat under every desk. They allow your chair to roll around/slide over the carpet. You can get them at Office Depot, Staples, or almost any office supply store for $45 to $80.

Click on this link to see a sample from Office Depot. These things are perfect for a small space, they don't cost much, and you can slide it under a bed when it's not being used for practice. They're available in a few sizes, right around 3 x 5 feet or so, and you can spin on them in the right shoes (or with just a hint of baby powder). Most partnering moves are also doable in that space and it's a great exercise to work with limited floor space. It's easier to do most moves on a larger floor, so learning small and expanding is a reasonable strategy. If you want some additional style and decide to win some environmental points with your friends, they are also available in bamboo and look great, but they cost more (around $300 with shipping). Still, that may be cheaper than changing the spouse.

Flooring Option B: The snap-together, fake hardwood laminates
If you go to Home Depot, Lowe's or any other home improvement store, you'll find a wide selection of fake hardwood laminate. They look like thin wood planks, averaging about 7 inches by 4 feet. These make a perfect dance practice floor, they snap together and can sit over existing carpet. For under $70 you can get a dance floor that is around four by six feet. In theory you can take them apart and put them back together as needed, but they are designed to snap together a few times. I started with one box of this stuff (under $50 at Sam's Club) and after a year purchased a second box and extended my practice floor to four by twelve feet because I wanted to practice some travelling turns. For partnering the small floor was fine, and you can replace individual planks if they become damaged over time.

You may need a little baby powder to spin with some shoes on the floor. I keep a bottle on the edge of the floor and sprinkle a little on one end, then step on it when I'm practicing in tennis shoes. If I wear my dance sneakers or regular dance shoes, I don't need the powder.

Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall...
Having a mirror or two is extremely helpful as you grow your dancing. It really doesn't matter which mirror you choose, but be sure to get something. Practicing only in a club setting without mirrors is fine most of the time, but fine-tuning your personal look and feel requires visual feedback at points.

The home improvement stores have wall mounted versions that are perfect and not very expensive. For under $100 your can have a mirror or two on the wall which is large enough to see yourself from head to toe.

I purchased two from Home Depot that were under $60 each and mounted them on a wall in front of my fake hardwood floor. The combined mirrors are about 6 feet wide and 5 feet tall, giving me enough to see exactly what needs more work (ah, almost everything). I selected the frame-less ones without beveled edges as they are significantly cheaper and do the job well. I just wanted as much mirror space as practical, and beveled edges are fashionable but not as practical when you are mounting them side by side.

Alternately, you can use a stylish floor mirror if the wall mounts offend your sense of decor. They are significantly more expensive, but you can use them for dance practice and wardrobe adjustments as well. Google "Floor Mirrors" and you'll find hundreds of options ranging from $100 to $700 or more, depending on the framing materials and the sizes.

If you really can't do mirrors for some reason, then beg or borrow a video camera. Filming some practice is very helpful, so check out the article I wrote a few months ago titled Video Yourself Often, But Be Kind. Video is an excellent addition to mirrors unless you are a mother and have developed those standard "eyes in the back of your head" that kids demand. For most people it's easier to see issues that need tuning with a combination of mirrors and video, but the video is optional.

It Helps To Have Music
Anything that will play your iPod or CDs is fine, and the volume doesn't need to be really loud unless you are having parties. I use a computer in my practice room, with a set of quality external speakers. I've uploaded all my salsa CDs and downloaded other tunes I use for practice. I organize them on the computer and have lists like "Practice From Slow to Fast" and "Salsa Shines" containing tunes I think are appropriate for different practices. I also play instructional DVDs on my computer, and can view YouTube videos, watching and practicing in the same room. That's the "borrow moves from other dancers" technique.

Your practice area can be as simple or as elaborate as your budget will allow, but music completes the picture for the minimalist practice area. If possible, get yourself a decent set of speakers, as it's helpful to actually hear all the instruments playing.

Once your practice environment is complete, be sure to use it regularly. Having a floor, mirror, and music is nice, but doing more is the real key. Anybody can have a practice area--for less than you think--but remember, the ultimate practice studio is available via the social dancing scene.

I hope the suggestions above give you ideas for enhancing your practice space. Maybe that current spouse/partner will practice with you, enhancing the current connections and making the sock issue a little less annoying.

If you have other potential solutions, please let me know!

Flatterer: One who says things to your face that he wouldn't say behind your back.
-Roger Jackson

Magic of Time: Last One Standing

I think if there were a Gallup poll of all the people in my beginning salsa classes, I would have been voted "most likely to be eating Twinkies and watching Star Trek reruns" in a few years rather than instructing and/or dancing 3-4 nights per week.

Woody Allen famously said, "80% of success is showing up." If you dance more than a couple years, you'll be amazed at some aspects of the scene. Like most recreational activities, everybody has their own reasons for dancing.

One reality: If you join a beginning class, only a small percentage will still be dancing regularly in a couple years. Beginning classes will still be full of new people, but most of our initial peers will only show up occasionally, and many will be off learning to sky dive, taking art history classes, driving race cars or mastering X-box games.

As you watch any dance scene, you'll see a set of people who barely improve once they reach a certain point. They are comfortable with their level, they enjoy dancing, and any improvement is simply a by-product of having fun. If they continue to social dance, they will get better over time, although their rate of growth may flatten out a bit.

The good news is if you do two things--stay in the game and make regular effort to improve--you can move toward the head of the class in a few years. As you continue to dance, occasionally you’ll run into people you haven’t seen in a year or so, and they will simply be amazed how much you’ve improved. (That’s always fun.) You may not notice it all the time, but they will often be blown away by your progress.

The other very interesting side effect is over time, the social aspects of the dance are magnified. People who ignore you during the first year or two see your face regularly, and they will dance with you even if you are "not at their level" (whatever that is).

There is a social pressure to dance with someone you see regularly, and the stronger dancers will dance with you even if initially they are reluctant. In the beginning they know lots of people will drop out so sometimes they wait to see if you are still around in six months or a year. Dancing with the stronger dancers also improves your dancing. So don't stop showing up, keep being nice and say hi to everybody, even people who turned you down last week (or tonight).

If you are one of the minority who also improve over time, and part of your concept of “showing up” includes taking classes and/or privates, then you get a multiplier effect. Most of your initial peers will drop out, and they will show up every once in a while with the “I want to get back to dancing” feeling. They will be shocked by how much you’ve improved if you simply stayed in the game regularly. Old partners will notice your constant improvement and they will seek you out for dances. Of course, as better partners approach, your level will also improve and it creates a happy, vicious circle.

At a minimum, stay in the game and continue social dancing regularly. If you want to move toward the stronger dancers, then show up and be sure to continue your dance education. It’s all good, and most of it’s simply getting off the couch and showing up at the club and/or a class, rather than sitting and watching TV at home.

Don’t stop dancing, and over time you’ll look around and find yourself way ahead of the pack. For the vast majority of people, simply dancing regularly for a few years will bring tremendous benefits compared to the on again, off again approaches most people take.

Fun is almost built into the equation when you've been around a while. You'll be healthier, happier and have a wide set of friends every time you go out. Enjoy the ride, and keep showing up.

Incompent are often supremely confident of their abilities. The are blissfully ignorant, because the skills required for competent assessment are also the ones they are missing.
-Dr. David Dunning (Cornell University)
(That translates into: They don't know they don't know. - Unlikely Salsero)

Humbled Part 2: Found the Tune

I love it!

My partner who is referenced in the previous article talked to the DJ and found a link to the tune that confused us. (Thanks Disa!) Now that I hear it outside the heat of the dancing, it is much clearer to me.

Click here to play the tune. Select "Elio Reve Jr - 1999"

This is normal; while you and I may be confused by a tune or a feel the first time, once we figure it out, it seems pretty simple. Most of the tune is more obvious, although in the middle it gets interesting. We will rarely be fooled by a tune with a similar feel once we have heard this type of tune enough times. For some people, this tune may take twice and others may have to listen thirty times or more time to get it right.

Note that there are some additional variables. When I hear it sitting at my computer, I hear the start of the tune, which already gives me 99% of the info I need to find the one. In the club I was still walking toward my partner so I didn't pay attention to the start, and rarely is that an issue for me due to my musical background. In most tunes, once the introduction is over, the time is pretty obvious. In this tune that is not the case for me.

I have multiple computers and the one I'm using has OK speakers, but I can't hear the clave at points; on my other computer with great speakers, I'm sure things will be different. You may have great speakers so your first listen will be easier (or harder) depending on your setup. We all should listen to music on different systems, but when listening for learning purposes, it's helpful to be on the best system possible.

Listen to the song from different computers and you'll see what I mean. You get different clues from different systems.

While I can hear the percussion laying out the time, I confirm it with the vocals, the guitar/piano grooves and the horns. Once I got a feel for the bass player's groove, it lays really nice, but after dancing for a few hours with lower blood sugar, caffeine bottoming out and getting toward the end of the night, it was unclear to me.

I have the tune playing in the background while I type this and just past the 1:17 mark, it gets interesting for a couple of 8 counts. If I'm not paying attention I have to re-orient myself. But once the feel and time are established, even if I get away from it for a few eight counts it's easy to pick up again.

That's one of the great things for everybody. Once you figure out a set of tunes, other tunes with a similar feel become easier. While we may get fooled the first few times, once we get it, it's ours and we are much harder to fool in the future.

This song feels totally wrong for my normal LA slot-style salsa. For me, dancing LA style to this tune makes about as much sense as trying to do a ballroom foxtrot. Sure, we could do it, but it feels all wrong. If we have a partner who also knows the feel, an Afro-Cuban style makes much more sense to me.

Contrast this tune with the next one in the play list (Conjunto Massalia). That tune is also very Cuban feeling, but the time is so easy because the clave and percussion section mark the time so clearly. A totally different feel.

As I sit here and type I am drawing a blank on the specific name of this feel. I'm sure someone reading this will fill in the blank for me. Let me know what you call it and also name the style of dance that comes to mind for you when it's playing. I'm sure we will all learn something.

A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car.
-Kenneith Tynan

Humbled Again: But Still in the Game

I'm at the Granada, it's around 2:40 am and the crowd is thinning and winding down. The last song of the night is about to start. I see one of my favorite follows across the room and our eyes meet. I had seen her earlier in the night, but she was lost in the crowd until now. I walk toward her, knowing this is going to be the perfect ending to a great night of dancing. We both grin like little kids, knowing play time is about to start.

She is one of my favorites because she is also a musician, and if I give her appropriate space, we always hit the breaks, and her styling is generally an excellent expression of the music. It works out that when I dance with her, I look much better than I am. We've danced countless times over the last couple of years and I've had plenty of guys asking me who she is because they want to dance with her also.

Then the music starts. It's an upbeat Cuban feel, but we both look at each other with blank looks.

I couldn't hear the "one" in the music. I turn my head sideways like that old RCA dog, thinking that might help. It didn't.

Neither could she. We both say aloud with perplexed looks, "I'm not sure where the time is..." and we shake our heads as we move in place without committing to any specific timing. You wouldn't know if we were doing salsa or the hokey-pokey at that point.

Musicality means dancing appropriately to the music. It helps if you can feel the time along with the overall feel of the music. However, no matter how much you know about music overall, any one tune can trip you up from a timing perspective. It is rare for me; maybe once every couple of months I'll hear a tune and for a while I can't find the one in the music.

After about 30 seconds of us trying to figure out exactly where the time is, a new section of the song starts, and I know I've found one. I mention "I've got it" and start moving with an LA salsa feel. She still looks at me and says, "I don't hear it... I'm following." She assumes I have it right, since she knows my history as a drummer and that timing is one of my strengths. She's not feeling it, but making the most of the situation.

It went down hill from there. The tune has an obvious Afro-Cuban feel, but I'm over my head. And I know it right away. My partner knows how I should be dancing, because she dances with guys who have that authentic Cuban feel. She tries to help me verbally, but I realize that although I get it intellectually, it's beyond me at this point to get the right feel.

That happens: My partner dances with a wide variety of leads, and some of them dance on2 or even if they are on1, they don't slot dance with an LA style concept; they dance a rounder, Cuban style. My partner knew what should be happening, and she expected me to reflect the music since that is my norm, but in this case it wasn't going to happen. I don't have the control, or the right feel for this music.

Being musical is about being on the time, hitting the breaks and endings, but it is also about reflecting the feel of the music. Most of the time I'm in the ballpark, but there are still some tunes where I'm over my head.

We all are a work in progress, and some nights if we are stretching we'll have a tune or two that isn't our best. I still had a blast overall, and someday I won't look so white when that music plays. At this point in my growth, I just get humbled and shown my Dual Perspective Concept continues to hit me in the head regularly.

I may know more than most about the music, but we all have plenty to learn.

Here's the funny thing: It didn't ruin my night. I did the best I could with where I'm at now with my dancing. I didn't beat myself up, as it's not news to me that the Cuban style is something I enjoy watching, and I know exactly what it looks like, but it's beyond my ability at this point.

It's just a matter of time, and you and I don't need to beat ourselves up for the areas where we are a work in progress. As long as we are working on improving regularly, it's tough to get too bothered when something doesn't work.

On those occasions where you miss the mark, feel good about being in the game rather than standing outside the club, looking through the windows at everybody else dancing. Someday we'll be there, but being humbled is also part of the process of growing.

We all have those moments where we feel a little silly. I'll be out again next week, working on my dancing; I hope you're doing the same.

First-rate brains hang around with first-rate brains; second-rate brains
hang around with third-rate brains.
-Leo Rosten

Club Classes: Insiders View

I had around 50 people in my class at Mama Juana's last Wednesday night. As the numbers grow larger, an instructor faces a few dilemmas which may effect you. Today, I'm going to give you some insights into the issues we face, so you can get more out of any class you take.

First, the great things: We had a blast. I tend to have fun when I teach and we laughed at lot. I find it easier to learn when everything isn't so serious (maybe that's just me). While learning, everybody makes some mistakes if they are stretching, so as an instructor I want to keep the mood light. Learning to dance isn't like truck driving school, where a mistake means road kill or a few parked cars turning into pre-crushed scrap metal. If you aren't having any fun in a group setting, find another class.

Most club classes are NOT where you will find the dead serious dancers (exceptions include people who actually take their time reading dance blogs!) In my mind, serious dancers go to places that have mirrors so they can fine-tune their look and feel, and I don't mean on the ceilings.

Most people go to club classes to meet attractive people, have fun, have some drinks, and unwind. A few (whisper it quietly) are even there to hook up with said attractive people (after enough drinks, everybody is attractive until morning). Some, however, are there to dance and learn, because that also makes them more attractive.

This creates an interesting backdrop for an instructor. We start with a class outline and have our game plan in place, but then 20 extra people show up, who have never taken a class. Now it doesn’t make sense to follow our original outline. Most instructors will adjust the materials slightly based on who shows up. We may move faster or slower or totally change our materials on the fly.

Here are the major points to remember:

• Most instructors will NOT pack every minute with detailed instruction
• Most skip some fundamentals, since average dancers want “cool stuff” now
• You should be proactive if you want fine-tuning
• Maximize your social networking during class time
• Don’t expect dance excellence from club classes
• There are always a few students who don’t belong
• Many instructors rotate the students quickly, to maximize the social aspects
• Support the instructors you like, since the club owners will fire the ones without good numbers

Here is an example of the relaxed attitude toward teaching that I learned from a very successful club instructor: When the music ends after a practice dance, if the room is buzzing with people talking, an instructor like me waits before starting to teach again. I may wait thirty seconds, two minutes or even longer if everybody is socializing and the room has a loud buzz of people enjoying themselves. That can seem like a long time if you stop after the song and say nothing to the people around you.

This used to drive me crazy as a student! I was there to learn dancing, and I wanted the instructor to get on with it and teach me another move! (NOW!!) Problem: I'm not normal.

Remember, in a club class, the majority are there to meet people and (maybe) to improve their dancing. For many people, if they meet someone interesting, that trumps becoming a better dancer. When the song stops, but the instructor doesn't restart immediately, use the time to build your social network! Tell your current partner what you liked, ask them what nights they go dancing, what brand of hair color they use, or if they think Emmitt Smith should have really won last year's "Dancing with the Stars." In other words, practice your social skills and say something to the people around you. Once class is over, you want people to dance with, and the other students are the perfect place to start.

Start with your current partner, but it's fair game to talk to anybody around you. Just be sure to include your current partner unless they are rude and ignore you.

Leaving Out Details
As the class gets larger, an instructor has to decide what to skip, what to gloss over, and what to emphasize. Personally, I agonize over what to leave out. I would love to give you every chance at being excellent as you dance. But unfortunately, I'm not telling you everything I think you should know. Most people will bolt for the door or go have a drink if I start a ten-minute discussion about closed position, frame, clave history, why the music matters, finding one in the music, and/or body posture. Some get impatient if I take too long showing “basic.” They say, “Cool, I get it, now let’s do some real dancing.” Their basic may have eight or nine steps instead of six, but they just want to partner with someone NOW!

While I'll say general things like “Listen to the time in the music” or "pretend you have grapefruits under your arms," or "if your male partner is ugly, look at his forehead," please understand that I can't tell all or try to fix everybody. I'll bring up as many important points as possible, but if you ignore me, I probably won't say much. As an instructor, I get used to people totally ignoring me. It started with my Mom, but that's for my therapy sessions.

Being Proactive if You Want Details
As the class gets larger, YOU want to ask questions during practice time. Get the instructor's attention, because I go where I think someone actually cares about getting it right. Some people just want to be left alone for a few minutes while they figure something out or talk with their attractive partner. Some want details, but everybody is different, so your instructor will help those who want some assistance. Sometimes I simply stand on the side watching during the practice songs. I may be taking mental notes of what to point out when teaching time starts, and I may be deciding who could be helped by a few comments.

I often see a few people going horribly wrong, but my experience tells me some people still don't want any assistance from me. I'll make myself available for questions, but I'm not going to be pushy in a club setting, at least until they've worked on some things a little on their own. I’ve often asked one-on-one during practice time if a guy has a question and he says “no… I’m good.” My dog would immediately see this guy has no clue which foot is called “left,” but that guy doesn’t want to talk to me or ask a question. I smile and move on, looking for someone who can’t wait to hear my wisdom. (That happens every few months.)

Face Time and Rotating
In my case, I rotate the class quite a bit. I figure if you love the person you are dancing with, you get a little taste during the practice and now you know whom you want to dance with after class. On the other hand, if you get a total beginner, or they belong to the Natural Odor Society, or the guy who buys his cologne wholesale so he can use it to fumigate his condo and bathe in it, then rotating regularly is a good thing. Not all instructors believe in the quick-rotate concept, and when you get that "perfect" partner, it all seems too short. But that's why you are at the club. You can ask that person to dance after the class, and if you really want, ask them again if the chemistry is right.

Some Students Shouldn’t be In That Class
A club class is NOT where everybody is equal. We could call a class the "Advanced Salsa Class for Ballet Experts with a Black Belt in Mandarin Origami" and we'll still get a guy who says "Which foot do I start with?" and/or "Do I pay the lady before or after the dance?"

An unbelievable number of people ignore the fact that it's called "Intermediate" or "Beginner" or "Fast Beginner" (code for intermediate/advanced). But it's a social scene, so few instructors can (or will) kick him out of the class. A few people (read: "men") believe intermediate means they have seen salsa dancing on TV, so they couldn't be a beginner. Their mom has served salsa long before it overtook ketchup as America's favorite condiment, so don't bore them with that basic stuff. This means the instructor will review but rarely fine-tune some people. Hopefully, he rotates enough. In practice, we end up ignoring the guy, hoping he'll go sample the latest bar offerings, but we rarely force him to go sit down. You would like to think someone would realize when they are hopelessly over their head, but nobody is placing bets on that.

With people at all levels, there are bound to be some people (probably you!) who are really too advanced or too beginner for the material if you don't approach it correctly. If it's too "easy" for you, then work on your style and details. EVERYBODY can improve their fundamentals, which will improve everything else, so if the class is "below you" (in theory), then take the time to fine-tune your moves and polish your transitions, connection and overall feel. Look for ways to do the simple moves extremely well, and see if you can make your partner look better. You want your partner to notice how easy it is to dance with you, even if it's simply your great attitude.

If it's too advanced, turn doubles into singles and simplify other moves. If you are following, ask your lead to slow it down for practice. If required, count out loud for your partner and ignore the tempo the rest of the class is using to figure out the tougher parts of the move. Fast and sloppy are often normal, so if you slow things down during practice and get it smooth and comfortable, you'll stand out on the floor.

Socialize After the Class
After the class ends, don't go sit in a corner or leave! Be sure to work your social network you just established, even if you don't dance (although I recommend you do). You just met 20 people, so say hi, ask them to dance, and practice the parts of the lesson you remember. If you don't remember much, so what! Do what you remember and use any other moves you learned from a previous class. The more you dance, the easier it is to remember moves (I write them down, but that's for another article).

Most instructors won't say this out loud, but if you want individual attention and fine-tuning, you really need to consider a private. The larger the class, the less an instructor focuses on a couple people. I'm selfish as an instructor; I want people to have a good time and return next week. I keep it moving, keep it fun, even if you didn't get all the details. That is life of an instructor at a club. If you tell me you love my class, but don't show up again, the club owner will still fire me unless enough people do show. (If you dislike an instructor, don't go to their class! Unless others really like them, they will be replaced at some point.)

Keep supporting the clubs, since we all want great places to dance. If the lessons go well, it feeds new beginners and improves the intermediates. As you grow in your dancing, you realize we always need more new people in the scene. Over time, people come in and out of the scene and having new people keeps the club alive for your dancing.

As you become more advanced, show up early at your favorite club and take the group class if possible, knowing you’re helping your scene grow. Enjoy those classes, but realize the instructors are forced to teach to the center of the crowd, and that is probably not where you are if you are working toward dance excellence. On the other hand, even in a weak class, you can fine-tune your existing materials and enhance your social networking skills. This means you can create your own value, no matter how the class is actually handled by the instructors.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde