Hearing But Not Listening: Part 3

This is part three of a two part series. Confused? I didn’t intend to write this article, but I’m being pulled back toward my roots, and I think you’ll find it interesting. See the bottom of the article for links to the first two articles in the series.

Certain tunes mark chapters of my life. It's probably the same for you. Even if you don’t share my passion for music, you still have your favorites that bring back specific memories from your journey. You hear a song and it takes you back to high school, or a special person, or it ignites a whole set of feelings stirring inside of you. A specific tune transports you back to that early salsa class, your first great dance with someone, or a summer trip across the country.

When I was writing the original articles for this listening series, I remembered one song in the back of my mind that started me listening to vocals decades ago. I knew it was a Kenny Loggins tune but couldn’t recall the song title, or the specific album. I could still hear the feel of the tune in my head, although I couldn’t remember the specifics.

After publishing the articles, it kept bugging me, so I did a Google search and found the tune that started my vocal listening years ago.

Kenny Logins: Enter My Dream


In the 20th Century, when I was a young adult, music was on vinyl disks called records or albums, and I purchased hundreds of them before I was twenty. When I was 17 or so, Steve Gadd and Harvey Mason were among my favorite drummers, and they were the session players on Kenny Loggins' first solo album titled “Celebrate Me Home.” I originally purchased the album for the drummers (and because Bob James was playing piano and producing).

The groove on “Enter My Dream” fascinated me, and it still does today. It has a reggae influence and I was studying Latin music variations at the time. I was also learning how difficult it was to play slow, controlled, and dynamic, while creating a feel without rushing the time. This tune is an amazing example of laying back and creating a great groove, without rushing or getting in the way. The song breaths and feels effortless, like a work of art. In the process of listening to the drum track a few hundred times, I was drawn into figuring out the vocals in the last part of the tune.

From around the 3:45 time mark until the final fade, the voices ebb and flow, adding layers on a set of interesting overlapping lines. The voices sound like a dream, with rich harmonies creating a floating feel. I couldn’t figure out what they were saying at first, other than maybe the top layer. It was all a big mess of sounds, but I knew they were saying something related to the dream, and I couldn’t figure out any of the words.

Over many hours, I starting being able to selectively listen to the different voices, figuring out the words and enjoying the textures created as they overlapped each other. My ability to separate musical layers in my mental ear began when I spent so much time breaking down this song, and it started me on a quest that I still enjoy today.

Most people won’t enjoy this tune like I do, because being able to hear some of the lower layers took me so many hours of listening. But the drum track still impresses me today, especially since I know the difficulty in playing such a great feel at that tempo. (I also love the “Lucky Lady” track on that album; what a great rhythm section!)

I hope you enjoy my starting point in my musical journey, but finding your own is more important. Find something that intrigues you and that you enjoy and listen to it hundreds of times. Check out one of my early articles titled “Listening to Music: 100 Times or More” for more insights.

Let me know the tunes you enjoy that help you fine-tune your listening. I'm sure you have some that bookmark your life as well.

This is part three of a two part series. I never intended to write this article but I decided it made sense to outline my personal starting point, hoping it inspires you to find something you love and can enjoy as you grow.

Here are links to the previous articles in this series:
Hearing But Not Listening: Part 1
Hearing But Not Listening: Part 2

The difference between genious and stupidity is that
genius has its limits.
--Sam Carbin

New: Articles by Labels and Search

I have been asleep for the last 9 months! I recently added an "Articles by Label" section on the left hand side of my blog. I also added a "Search" box toward the bottom of the left column.

I was bothered by the fact that the only way to find articles was by the date. Worse, the "Articles by Date" index only shows one month at a time expanded. Sure, you can click on the months on the left, see the titles and then read an article, but I find many people don't go back through the older articles, because it's not as easy as it should be.

But Blogger allows you to add "labels" to each article, and then over on the left you can search by the different labels rather than just viewing my titles (some of which are probably too clever for my own good). This is similar to "Categories" used by some other blogger software.

I suspect it's been there from the beginning of my blog, but I overlooked it. I've added that feature to the blog; now I need to go back and see which labels make sense AND update the articles from the last nine months. I stopped adding labels at some point because I didn't see any value for readers, except when searching.

Now that I've enabled the feature, I'll make sure I add useful labels to all new articles and I hope you enjoy the results.

One thing I'm finding is most people haven't been with me since the beginning, and few go back and read the previous articles. Some send me private mail asking for specific information and I realize I wrote about that topic last year.

Sooo.... I'm adding labels/categories to all the previous articles over the next couple weeks, to make it easier to find the past articles that make sense. Use the "Articles by Label" index on the left (scroll down a little to see it), and/or a search box. I'm still deciding how I should organize the left side, so send me feedback if you have ideas.

Of course, you can currently use the "Articles by Month" section to see them all by date, but I want to make it easier. I'm also thinking about a "Greatest Hits" section, where there are a small set of the articles that get the most readers.

I'd also like some feedback on the length of my articles. Compared with most blogs, my articles are longer. (Even this started as a quick and dirty announcement; now it's long!)

• Is this a good thing?
• Should I be breaking an article into 3 or 4 parts to make them shorter?

Stats show people read more if the articles are shorter, but I'm thinking my audience wants depth. Again, I'd really like your gut feelings on this one.

Please add comments or send me private mail (DonBaarns AT hotmail.com). You have to edit the address to put it in the real format. I do it that way to reduce the spam bots from harvesting my e-mail address.

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the
experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to
do so.
-Douglas Adams

Taking Classes Over My Head: Part 1

"You’re taking jazz classes with Eric Ellis?"

"Are you taking Sho-tyme’s basic hip-hop class?"

I hear it in their voices--the wondering, "Why do YOU take those classes?" with the “I know you aren’t on that level” connotation. They are right. I sometimes fall into the lower 10% of a class at the beginning, but I don’t stay there. My goal is always to be the fastest improving person in the class, and I employ the same principles I learned about music to grow my dancing. One consistent paradox of growing quickly: Working the fundamentals hard moves you further over time than skipping the basics and trying the cool stuff too early.

Sho-Tyme: Basic Hip-Hop Instructor at Millennium


Association is a powerful thing, both in dancing and in life. Being around stronger dancers can improve your dancing faster than hanging out with those just figuring it out for the first time. It can also backfire if you're not careful. Getting too far over your head tends to create frustration, or worse, bad habits that require unlearning and relearning. Who has the time to do that?

Having danced a few years, I mix beginning and more advanced classes; but remember that I’m averaging two back-to-back classes, three times per week, plus a private lesson most weeks. If I’m not too tired, some weeks I’ll add another two or three classes, often at a beginning level, depending on my overall dancing mix and how much I go out to the clubs.

I didn’t start that way, and I’m constantly re-evaluating my class mix to get maximum return on my time.

I have a method to my madness; I don’t simply take random classes and I don’t go to more advanced classes for my ego (it would be crushed by now). I probably take many more beginning/basic classes than most of my peers, because in music I learned the most advanced musicians have excellent fundamentals, built over many years. The more solid your dance foundation, the faster you can grow over time.

My Class Guidelines:

• Over-train the fundamentals
• Be among the best at your level
• If you can only take one class at the start, take the beginning classes until you are in the top few students (see points above)
• Use the same strategy as you move to more advanced classes
• Practice, practice, practice
• Back-fill where appropriate, taking both more advanced classes AND a class a level or two below your most advanced class
• When taking more advanced classes, take a few privates from the instructor to really understand how things should look in class
• Find instructors who appreciate and focus on the fundamentals, and don’t only work flash and style

As someone famous for taking classes over his head, I've played out these strategies for a couple years. You can use the strategies for your growth. Being a little older than most, I want the biggest return on my efforts, and sometimes that means looking at classes a little differently.

Many think I'm on the crazy side, but these principles provide an excellent return on the time invested.

I'll share my experiences and provide additional details in Part 2 of this article.

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every
six months.
-- Oscar Wilde

Do Your Instructors Respect the Music?

Edie the Salsa Freak pulls me aside and firmly says, "Don, don't stop the music like that... let the song finish or fade it out." Eric Ellis (a great jazz instructor at Millennium) walks over to the sound system and dances another 10 seconds until a musical phrase ends. If the singer is singing her most emotional phrases or the soloist is blasting away, he'll dance in place and enjoy the moment before stopping the song.

The hip-hop teachers dance their way to the sound system, singing the lyrics and playfully marking sounds in the music, stretching their dance as needed to hit the phrase endings before killing the music between exercises.

Observing teachers a few years, I've noticed the more the instructors know and respect the music, the less likely they are to stop it until a phrase ends. The better ones are consistent with this behavior.

They are listening to the music, they respect the music and they don't want to interrupt until a logical break point. You'd think they were in a live conversion, being polite and waiting for an appropriate opening rather than interrupt their friend.

People who love music find it almost rude for someone to stop the music in the middle of a phrase. When I see them waiting for a good stopping point, I simply smile and note that these teachers are in tune with the music, and that's a great sign for their students.

Let me know if this behavior is happening in your scene.

No one will ever win the battle of the sexes;
there's too much fraternizing with the enemy.
-- Henry Kissinger

Hearing But Not Listening: Part 2

This is Part 2 of the “Hearing But Not Listening” articles. If you missed Part 1, click here to read the first article in the series.

In Part 1, I outlined the lyrics as an excellent starting point for tuning your ears and becoming a stronger listener. After 30 years of serious listening, I still work on getting the correct lyrics on tunes I enjoy. Some songs are a serious challenge and some are pretty easy, but it’s always a fun thing to do.

You’ll find interesting parts in a wide variety of music, and while I love salsa music, a wide variety of music is great for growing your ability to listen selectively. Voices are easier than most instruments, but some songs have very complex vocal parts, and they are excellent for ear training and focused listening.

The more advanced level of listening to voices includes picking out the words from fast moving sequences and/or background parts. Many tunes have subtle background voices, with 3 or more people singing phrases in harmony. Some tunes have layers of voices, singing different words and creating great depth in the vocals, similar to the instrumentalists playing different parts.

One of the jazz instructors at Millennium uses the Jennifer Lopez tune below during the conditioning phase of his class, and I heard it 20 times before I purchased a copy. The background vocals and layers of words create a very interesting effect, and it takes some effort to figure out the words for all the background parts. I still have a couple words I can’t get, but I’m darned close.

Jennifer Lopez – Gotta Be There


Most people will NOT hear all the details, there are simply too many. They hear the overall mix and the feel, but this version requires hearing the tune over and over to sort through all the parts. For the few that want to challenge their ears and can already hear background parts, check out this tune. (Side note: the YouTube video is for reference. The quality of YouTube videos is all over the place, mostly “just okay” or poor quality. Download this song and play it on something with quality speakers or ear buds to hear all the parts.)

Check out the fast moving phrases around the 49 second mark (“I really didn’t mean it…”) , and I love the layered vocals at around 1:07. Notice there are background vocals interwoven with the primary vocals in the “If you’re in Houston…” section. See if you can get all the words on top, and within all the layers. I love this arrangement.

Again, the depth of these parts is just not obvious via the low quality YouTube example. I can hear most of the parts because my speakers are good AND I’ve heard the tune on an excellent quality system. Spend the buck and get a good copy if you are serious about learning.

For those with more advanced ears who are focused on the instruments, download the Anita Baker song (Rhythm of Love, from Part 1 of this article), and play it on a great sound system. Notice the bass player doesn’t even start until the intro ends (the keyboard/marimba player does play some lower notes, but no bass player).

After the bass player starts, the piano player doubles the bass groove in many parts of the tune, providing an interesting feel that is unique. For the non-musicians, it’s unusual for the piano player to double so much of the bass line, and unless you have both good speakers and experienced ears, it’s tough to hear both instruments are playing the same notes. It creates a unique sound, so it’s obvious to people with more experienced ears, but it’s not something the casual listener will notice.

For us percussion fans with more advanced ears, check out the bongo player. He smokes the intro, drops out for a while, then makes himself known again around 3:27, and builds from there until the end, playing some really tasty stuff. I love his groove, and he’s easy to hear in the final outtro (the fadeout toward the end), he is also playing some interesting parts while the tune is cooking. That’s outside the scope of this article, but if you have the ears already, you’ll enjoy the rhythm section on this tune. Go back to Part 1 of this article to get the YouTube version, but if you are serious about tuning your ears, I’ll repeat myself and say get quality downloads of the songs.

The more you practice without dancing, the easier it is on the dance floor, where there are a hundred distractions, including flashing lights, energetic people, inconsistent sound systems and a partner who is loving your moves. If you can’t hear the parts yet in a controlled environment, the dance floor has too much happening to learn there.

Let me know what you think of these examples.

Nothing can be so amusingly arrogant as a young man who has just discovered
an old idea and thinks it is his own.
--Sidney J. Harris

Finding "One" Over the Wires: Doug's Update

This is part of a series on assisting someone to hear the time in the music; check out the links at the bottom of this article to see the previous articles in the series.

This is a quick and dirty update. Doug Fox (http://www.greatdance.com/) has posted an article about our "Over the Wires" experience.

If you're following our progress, I suspect you'll find it interesting to hear about it from his perspective. I posted an article a few days ago with my point of view, so check out both for a more complete picture.

Check out his article at: The Exhilaration of Nailing the Rhythms of Dance Music

In case you are new to this blog, Doug Fox (of "Dancing Into the Future" fame) and I are working on a project where I'm helping him to find "one" in the music, without ever meeting face-to-face. For details on how this got started, check out the previous articles:
Finding "One" over the Wires
Nov 2nd Update
Feb 10 update
Feb 14 update
Mar 15 update

A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with
people, of getting things done.
--Dwight D. Eisenhower

100 Unlikely Articles in 11 Months

Wow! I feel like I'm just getting started. On April 24th, 2007, I posted my first article as the Unlikely Salsero.

This time it's personal!

Today I published article ONE HUNDRED! Thanks to you for plenty of suggestions via the comments and private mail. My goal was always high-quality articles that are fun to read, so I wasn't directly shooting for 100 articles in less than a year, but here we are.

I hope this blog makes a positive difference in your dancing, and you enjoy reading my radical thoughts, warm fuzzies and rants. I love writing them and it helps me organize my thoughts on dancing, and I see that as a win-win.

Behind the scenes over 20 articles are in draft form, waiting for me to take the time to finish them, and I have video clips in the works. Teaching, dancing and your feedback continue to provide me with new ideas. I suspect you'll see another 100 articles this year, and every month more and more people are reading. I appreciate the people who have told others about this blog! It's taken on a life of its own thanks to you.

The more people who read the articles and write comments, the more I write! I read every comment and e-mail so please keep sending them my way! Comments are preferred unless it's personal, so others can benefit from our conversion.

Again, please tell others about it and consider subscribing and getting the latest via e-mail (left column). Send your friends a link to http://www.unlikelysalsero.com/ and let them know it's your favorite blog on the Internet. (Yes, I'm okay with you stretching the truth a bit; it's for their own good.)

One more time, I have to say a huge THANK-YOU for all the support and feedback!

Hearing But Not Listening: Part 1

OK... I'll take one for the team:

Men often hear but we don't always listen. I think it may be an inborn skill, but my Y chromosome keeps me from being totally objective.

For the record, women are often guilty too, but men are the gold medal winners in the "in one ear, out the other" competitions. Most men have an uncanny ability to ignore female voices during ball games, video games, and sometimes across the dinner table. It's not all men's fault, we were born that way, and we trained long and hard to miss statements from women like "Pick up your socks," "How about we go shopping together," "Did you notice the grass is taller than the dogs?” or "Do I look fat in this?"

Most guys hear that something was said, but the blank look on our faces says we never picked up the details, especially if there are any video screens within viewing distance. If you ask the guys later, they will swear, "You never said that!"

It can wreak havoc in relationships, and in dancing, we want to move beyond simply hearing the music, toward actively listening to the music. This means being able to block out certain instruments and focus on others. While men occasionally have a head start in this type of listening, both men and women benefit from training their ears to pick out select sounds in music. Everybody can improve their listening skills, so where do you start?

Over the years of working with dancers to hear the music, I’ve found that decoding the lyrics (words) of tunes is an excellent starting point for ear training. Our ultimate goal is to go back and forth from listening to the complete mix of sounds, to focusing like a laser on a single instrument from the beginning to the end of the tune. Singers voices are among the easiest "instruments" to pick out, especially for non-musicians, as we are already familiar with that sound and the language.

Sure, you could simply Google a song and get the lyrics quickly. But it's tough to Google while dancing and it does nothing for your ears. The effort of actively listening to the tune, figuring out the words and writing them down gives you skills that pay off when you're dancing.

Look up lyrics on-line only after you master the skill of hearing them with your ears. The more tunes you work through yourself, the sharper your listening skills become and that provides raw materials to shape your dances.

Be sure to start simple; pick out some of your favorite commercial music that has a singer and write out the words to the song. Salsa is fine, but not required.

For most people, it’s tougher than it sounds. Getting the chorus (AKA “the hook”) is generally easy, but getting every word is often more challenging. While our goal is ultimately to hear all the instruments, figuring out the words to a tune requires the same skills as listening to the instrumentalists. However, it’s also much easier than hearing the individual instruments because we already know the language. Check out the introduction of this old Anita Baker tune and try the following exercises:

• Figure out the exact words she uses until the she says “and love…” at around the 41 second mark. It’s a fairly clear rap and most people can figure out the words with a few listens.


• WRITE THEM DOWN (How hard can that be; it’s less than 41 seconds, and she speaks slowly!)


• Try to say it EXACTLY like she does. (This is the interesting/fun part.) She pushes some words, breaks up the syllables and stretches other words.


• Play the introduction repeatedly and say it out loud until you are totally in sync with her phrasing and emphasis (I love how she says, “... stop! and find your own…”).

Anita Baker: 1992 – Rhythm of Love

Don’t be surprised if you have to listen and replay the intro 50 times or more to get it right. I spent hours getting it nearly perfect on that tune, and I still don't get it right all the time. The process is very valuable in terms of forcing yourself to really listen to both what she says and how she says it, but the real payoff comes later as it gives you the ability to selectively focus and actively listen to different sounds. Moving to the dance floor, your active listening skills pay off big-time as you advance, and you’ll never get too good at it. Remember that when a female voice says something we don't want to hear, just use the blank look you rehearsed for so long.

In part 2 of this article, I’ll provide some interesting ideas for people with more advanced ears. The Rhythm of Love is an interesting study for both novice ears and expert listeners.

I also like the Sting tune called “Fragile” as a learning tool. Someone has done a salsa cover of this tune, but so far I haven’t found it on YouTube so I'm including a couple of his versions (they are excellent).

See if you can get every word and you’ll find some sections require listening many times to verify you’re right. Again, the process of listening over and over is part of the ear training so don’t panic if you listen to one part 25 times. It goes that way sometimes.

If you can hear, understand and write out the words in most tunes consistently, you are ready for working on the instruments, and you’ll have a huge jump start over people who start with other sounds. Many people do succeed starting with other instruments, but I strongly believe in the “walk before you run” concept, and lyrics are a better starting point for most people.

Sting - Fragile


Another tip: Sometimes an alternate version of a tune can help you hear some things that were difficult in your first version. Many tunes have remixes available and/or the artists have a live version and a studio version. I’ve sometimes figured out lyrics from one version that were close to impossible on the other. If you get stuck on a word, try another version before cheating and using Google. Finding the lyrics on line does little to help your ear training, although it’s a great verification tool once you believe you have as many words as possible.

For fun, here is another version of the Sting tune.

Sting – Fragile (Alternate version)

Let me know how these exercises go; I suspect you’ll be amazed how much your ears improve with these concepts. In Part 2 of this article, I'll highlight some things more advanced listeners will find interesting.

Formula for success: under-promise and over-deliver.
-- Tom Peters

Finding "One" Over the Wires: March 15 Update

This is part of a series on assisting someone to hear the time in the music; check out the links at the bottom of this article to see the previous articles in the series.

Doug Fox and I continue to talk about once a week and he continues to make significant progress. Doug is a huge Argentine Tango (AT) fan and student, so one of our goals is to make sure he hears the time in all types of music, not just Salsa tunes.

This is consistent with my approach, since I see hearing the time as a skill unrelated to any specific musical style. We continue to work with simplified commercial music, where the time is much more defined and regular. Many commercial tunes beat the time into your head like a jackhammer, but that also helps us clarify some of the structural elements. Some of our newer tunes are less obvious, and have elements requiring growth.

Because of our earlier discussions, he understands the structure of the music. On the few occasions where he gets off the time, he has anchor points and he’s self-correcting. That's music to my ears because my primary goal is his hearing the time, and hearing when he’s off so he can adjust when appropriate, without my input.

We added a couple new tunes this week, including an old Whitney Houston tune and a new Norah Jones song (“I've got to see you again”), which Doug says they frequently use in the tango classes. It’s considered a “neo-tango” or a “slow 3/3/2 milonga”. In other words, it’s a modern tune which happens to work well in a tango context. (We added a couple songs last week that I haven't documented, and I'll sneek those in when I can.)

The Whitney Houston tune is the first time we worked on a tune that is NOT created as a dance tune. It’s used in the 1992 movie “The Bodyguard” and is a mood piece rather than a dance number. Overall, the time is consistent--like salsa music for most of the tune--but at the end of certain phrases, it slows down for half a measure, and then returns to the time established earlier. This is quite dramatic and the song breathes nicely. While it’s harder on dancers, it makes great sense in the context of the movie and the lyrics of the song. (The introduction is also not in strict time, and that is a little more common.)

Whitney Houston – Run to You


In musical terms, this “slow down” concept is written over the music as ritardando or more commonly abbreviated as either "rit." or "ritard" meaning "to slow down consistently". You can think of this like the way a train slows down just before it stops. It's chugging along consistently, then they apply the breaks and the train starts getting slower every second.

This concept of a steady tempo with occasional slowing is inconsistent with most social dance music, including salsa. Changes in tempo require the dancers to adjust their dancing in the middle of the tune, frustrating most dancers because it’s not the norm.

As a rule, salsa starts at one tempo and stays the same until the end of the song. There are exceptions to this, but I’d estimate over 98% of all salsa music is one tempo from beginning to end.

By listening to “Run to You”, you start hearing the contrast between consistent time and the slowing down (ritardando), improving your sense of time dramatically. For most people, it’s easier to hear the time changes later in the tune, after the drums have kicked in (they are silent in the beginning). Experienced listeners hear the time breathing in the intro, and hear the ritardandos as they happen.

When this tune was recorded, there was a conductor directing the musicians and coordinating the tempos among the musicians. You can’t see the conductor, but you can hear his influence as you listen.

Check out the tempo around the 2:21 mark and the 3:27 or so. Around both of these points, you’ll hear the band slowing down, along with her singing, before the next phrase restarts at the earlier established tempo. (It also happens around the 58 second mark, but the drums are just entering, so it’s tougher to hear the tempo changes.) You’ll need to start before those timings to hear the standard time, and you’ll also notice it shows down for half a measure, then returns to the “normal”, consistent time until the next slow down, at the end of the next phrase.

Note that I’m leaving out quite a few details here; this “ritardano” concept happens more than just three times, so see if you can hear it as it’s happening. I’m planning on cutting a video for this tune to discuss it in context. Typing all the details makes it painfully obvious to me that I’m summarizing and skipping plenty of details.

I’ll outline the Norah Jones tune and some interesting aspects of it in a future article.

Overall, Doug Fox is moving from someone who questioned whether he could ever hear the time when we started, to someone who regularly gets it right, in increasingly complex music. When he’s wrong, he hears it and is self-correcting most of the time. He's still practicing, as this skill isn’t something most people learn in one or two lessons, but his foundation is strong and growing on a daily basis. In the near term, Salsa and Tango will both be easy for him, in terms of hearing the time and knowing he knows how it all fits together.

Doug told me he is writing something for his blog shortly, and I’ll post a link when his point of view is available.

In case you are new to this blog, Doug Fox (of "Dancing Into the Future" fame) and I are working on a project where I'm helping him to find "one" in the music, without ever meeting face-to-face. For details on how this got started, check out the previous articles:

Finding "One" over the Wires
Nov 2nd Update
Feb 10 update
Feb 14 update

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.
-- Robert F. Kennedy

Unaware Club For Men

The Hair Club for Men has been around a while, and I suspect some have escaped and joined the "Unaware Club for Men."

The guys that scare me the most are the ones who "don't know they don't know." They try leading complex moves, missing the fact that their partner is in pain from the last move. They dance off time, wondering what is wrong with their partners and why the women don't follow well at this club. They run their partners into those around them, step on toes and act like nothing happened. On the crowded dance floor they dance big and ignore the fact that their partner is getting hit or is very uncomfortable with their choices. If they see something go wrong, they assume it's the other guy's fault.

Some of us guys are simply clueless, and the psychologists are now telling us things that are obvious if you've danced a while (or are female).

Dr. David Dunning of Cornell University said that the "incompetent are often supremely confident of their abilities. They are blissfully ignorant, because the skills required for competent assessment are also the ones they are missing."

"Not only do they reach erroneous conclusions and make unfortunate choices, but their incompetence robs them of the ability to realize it,'' wrote Kruger, now an assistant professor at the University of Illinois, and Dunning.

"This deficiency in 'self-monitoring skills,' the researchers said, helps explain the tendency of the humor-impaired to persist in telling jokes that are not funny, of day traders to repeatedly jump into the market -- and repeatedly lose out -- and of the politically clueless to continue holding forth at dinner parties on the fine points of campaign strategy."

The incompetent, therefore, suffer doubly, they suggested in a paper appearing in the December issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

"Not only do they reach erroneous conclusions and make unfortunate choices, but their incompetence robs them of the ability to realize it,'' wrote Kruger, now an assistant professor at the University of Illinois, and Dunning.

The findings, the psychologists said, support Thomas Jefferson's assertion that "he who knows best knows how little he knows.''

The studies do conclude it may not be the guy's fault. Sort of like the "pigs don't know pigs stink" concept. Check out the complete article below for additional details.

http://home.att.net/~profmulder/Incompetence.htm

I'm thinking maybe there is some hope, because if a guy reads this article, maybe he'll wonder if it applies to him. Most who don't get it will assume it's the other guy, but it's possible some self reflection may make a difference. I'm not holding my breath but I'm hoping something will help.

Let me know your thoughts!

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
-Milton Berle

News Flash: Musicians ARE Different

I'm starting to think it's a little too late for me to become a young genius, so I'm setting my sights on helping "more mature" people learn faster. Some of this relates to my selfish desire to accelerate my own learning, because I don't feel I have the kind of time I used to have to practice, and life is too short to stay a beginner in the dance world.

I've had discussions with many people about musicians, dancing, and learning, and how they all relate. I’ve also had a life-long fascination with accelerated learning in adults, and how the best teachers pass more to their students.

Recently, someone passed me a link to a show on brain functioning, learning and genius as it relates to music. It compares and contrasts “gifted” brains compared to “normal” people. It also outlines some of the issues related to being a young genius.

It's about 45 years too late for me to directly use this material, but I still find things we can apply as adults. If we don't practice, if we don't continue to grow, we eliminate our chances of being the best we can be. This applies to dancing, music, our jobs and our social relationships.

Learning never stops (or it shouldn't), and it's interesting to see what scientists are learning about being a young genius. "Use it or lose it" still applies to learning after a few decades or more, and there are many other insights we can apply. I've read other studies showing we CAN grow intellectually stronger as we age, but it requires some concentrated effort.

Over the years, I’ve read quite a few books on brain functioning and learning, and this show is very interesting. It’s a long show (47 minutes), but if you enjoy learning about learning, you’ll find this worth your time.

Check it out and let me know what you think.

My Brilliant Brain - Born Genius


Technical note: This is the first time I'm embedding a Google video in my blog. I'm not seeing it when I view the blog, so I'm including the link below and I'll probably remove the link once the embedded version is working above:
http://smashingtelly.com/2007/10/23/...n-born-genius/

There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving,
and that's your own self.
-Aldous Huxley

Baarns Musiciality Principles (BMP) Part 1

In 1968, Sly and the Family Stone soulfully and infectiously begged us to "Dance to the Music." Forty years later, the tune still grooves, and for many of us, dancing to the music is still much easier said than done.

Dance to the Music: Sly and the Family Stone


“Musicality” is a term thrown around as people improve in their dancing, but learning about the music is often not discussed. It's tough to dance "to the music" if you don't know about “the music.”

When we step back and take an analytical approach, that song raises two important questions:

• Do we know enough about the music to “dance to it?”
• After understanding music, what are the appropriate movements that compliment the songs?

To answer these questions, (and the many others that they raise), I'm excited to begin a new series that will focus on knowing the music through my “Baarns Musicality Principles” (BMP).

I'll lay out some principles because awareness is the first step to understanding. If I don't know I don't know, I never fill in the knowledge gap. Once you understand the framework of the music, however, fitting the pieces together is much easier, although it does take some practice.

We’ll discuss the foundational principles and provide exercises where possible. Some will require video/audio support, meaning it’s easier to learn when music is playing. I am taping some video examples and will upload them as time permits.

The stronger dancers almost consider themselves another member of the band, providing the visual components to the music, both complimenting and completing the art. Many know the instruments, the words, and can play air piano, bass, timbales, or bongos with the best of them. That requires extensive practice to get it right, and you can’t play air piano if you’re not hearing what the musicians are playing.

Now, there are a minority of people who learn to “dance to the music” but know very little theory or background about the music. If you grew up in a household with dancers and/or musicians, you can soak up a ton of stuff without formal training. But if you're an adult and learning dance and/or music, having a conceptual framework dramatically shortens the learning curve.

In the abstract, dancing musically is simple: You and your partner create a visual dance reflecting some aspects of the music. Easier said than done, but it’s still a simple concept. For example, when the music is calm, your dance is calmer. When the music is intense, your dance intensifies. When the music stops, you stop. Your dance movement mirrors or contrasts the emotion in the music, creating a visual which fits with the music.

I have a set of principles I teach dancers when learning about the music and I'll share them with you here.

Baarns Musicality Principles (BMP)

• Music has Structure! (Music Ain’t Random)
• Time is Foundational to Music
• Listening With Specific Objectives Improves Your Understanding
• Music has Shape: It’s Always Going Someplace
• Contrast Creates Emotion
• Over Time You Feel The Music, Without Having to Analyze Every Detail
• Knowing the Music Does NOT Make You A Great Dancer

We’ll discuss these principles one at a time in future articles and point to past articles which outlined some of the principles. Because it's such an overwhelming subject, I expect to write all the articles, then probably rewrite/re-organize them over time. During the writing, I’m also producing a set of video clips to enhance the concepts, illustrating the most important points.

Because this is primarily a project of love, it takes more time than I'd like. I have all the raw materials from 30 years of musical background, now it's getting it out of my head and into a form others can use.

Your feedback is always welcomed. Send me mail directly and/or add comments.

Disclaimer: Music and dancing have hundreds of years of history. College music majors spend a couple years or more learning “Music Theory” and “Music History,” so this subject is vast and deep. Ear training exercises run for a couple years at most schools, which include teaching musicians to hear different sounds and how they relate to each other (intervals, chords, scales, melodies, rhythms, etc.) For our purposes, we will simply focus on the topics relevant to most dancers.

I look better, feel better, make love better, and I'll tell you something else...
I never lied better.
-George Burns

Ask Her Now or Wait?

The big dilemma for guys: She is a great dancer and I’m not close to her level. Do I dare ask her to dance?

It all depends on what you want in the future, whom else she is dancing with tonight, and whether or not you already have a connection with her.

Here’s the calculation I made when I was starting, and I still ask it today: If I ask her tonight, is it likely she’ll want to dance with me in the future? Will I bore her to death? Will I leave her with the impression I want, so she’ll say yes the next time?

Many excellent follows will dance with anyone who asks, even if the guy asking is a beginner, but they will avoid you or have a sudden urge for a bathroom break as you approach the next time. If you are just getting started with basic, my rule is finding some follows who are stronger than you, but temper the urge to dance with the hot superstar until you are “in the ballpark”.

If a lady has danced for five years and I’ve danced for five weeks, it’s unlikely she’ll have a great time with me, even if she says yes and gives me what I call a “pity” dance. Pity dances are not what I want; I want her to see me and know if she says yes, she will be comfortable even if she isn't having the dance of her life with me.

Be sensitive to the fact that excellent females have paid some dues to become strong dancers. You should too before you expect them to respect you and enjoy dancing with you. If you ask them while you are still a beginner, I don’t recommend you ask them more than occasionally, because you want them to notice your improvement over time. Once they sense you are an improver, the game changes as they respect those dancers, even if you are not at their level yet.

Sometimes, you’ll see a great dancer and she is dancing with plenty of beginners. Often this is because she is also an instructor and as a rule, they will dance with everybody and have a good attitude about it. If she’s dancing with lots of other beginners, then go for it. But realize that others may already have a connection with her, and that totally changes the situation. If we have mutual friends, then she will dance with me because of the social dynamics, not because of my dancing. Don't take that as a sign she can't wait to dance with you too.

If I’m one of her students, take her group classes, or have seen her and said “hello” twenty times in the clubs, she is going to be much more open to dancing with me, and dance again in the future. If you really want to dance with her and she teaches, take a few of her classes, and see if she dances with students. Most do, but remember that the instructors have tons of people asking them to dance, so don’t expect her to dance with you every time.

I waited a couple years before I asked some women to dance, because I wanted them to remember me positively and I didn’t believe that would happen in the beginning. Maybe I was playing it too safe, but it really worked for me and today we always dance and have a great time. I said “hi” as we’d see each other regularly, but didn’t ask them to dance until I was comfortable they would have a decent time. I didn’t expect to be their favorite dance of the night, but I knew I would be reasonable and they would see my growth.

I would even wait and ask them immediately after they danced a pity dance with a total beginner. The contrast would be a step up from the guy with a month or two of experience, who thought he was a great dancer but just didn't know he didn't know. (I’m sure plenty of guys couldn’t wait to ask her after me, knowing they would look stronger after my dance.)

If they are way ahead of you and do say yes, I still don’t recommend you ask them regularly in the beginning. Enjoy your dance, take lessons, watch DVDs, continue dancing and ask them occasionally, but not so often they want to hide when they see you.

I’ve danced long enough to have a couple woman ask me to dance, then later admit they were using me to avoid someone else who they believed was about to ask them. (I suspect I was the lesser of two evils on that night.) Those women had previously danced with a guy, and while they may not turn him down if trapped like a rat, they find creative ways to be “busy” when he approaches. I still don’t want to the be the guy they dread seeing as I’m walking up to ask for a dance.

I’m not advocating you wait forever, or you should be exactly at her level, but unless you know her already, waiting and respecting that she has paid some dues is often better than asking the best when you are just starting. Invest in yourself first, and then ask her when you are confident you’ll be reasonable. In a worse case, you'll ask her after you've improved more than she expects and that is always a win.

In the “life is not fair” department, note that ladies can easily dance with guys who are more advanced, and both parties can have fun. However, a weak lead with a strong follow isn’t the ideal combination. In rare occasions it can work, like if you’re Brad Pitt and/or independently wealthy and she’s looking for a date, but I wouldn’t assume that applies in most cases. If she’s in that mode, you’ll know because she’ll make it obvious she wants to dance with you--you won’t have to guess and track her down for a dance.

It’s fine to ask stronger ladies to dance, just balance it out a bit and work on improving yourself. If you’re a lead, pay your dues, grow your ability, then ask the stronger dancers. If you are improving, they’ll notice you, and when you ask they’ll happily say yes rather than faking their enjoyment. Let them fake it with others; you want to be the real deal.

Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it.
-Lily Tomlin