Growth Is Not Always Constant

Ever felt like maybe you’re not cut out to dance? You're practicing something that seems easy for everybody else, and it seems out of reach for you.

I’ve had those moments, and it’s simply part of learning. Sometimes we have to shift gears mentally, find a different approach, and take a few days or more to work though more challenging materials. In the end it’s worth it, but some days are not as simple as others. If you never have tough days you are either exceptionally gifted, or you are not pushing yourself to grow. I’ve missed the exceptionally gifted gene, so I’m in the “pushing myself” mode.

While I teach quite a bit I also take lessons myself, especially in areas that are not my strengths. In addition to building a broader dance foundation, it keeps me humble, it pushes me in new directions and it gives me additional perspective on the learning and teaching process. I certainly relate with my students who are struggling with some aspects of dance.

The other night I was my own advisor, reviewing something I filmed at a recent private lesson. I had to say the same thing I say to students, except to myself. (Anybody else find it easy to tell others something and realize the same advice applies to you?)

I had one of those “gee… this should be easy…” and “maybe this is too tough for me” and finally the “maybe I’m simply not a dancer” moments. But we all know that the dirty word for advancing is spelled “p-r-a-c-t-i-c-e,” and that doesn’t mean just one night or a couple hours one time.

Regular, consistent practice over time makes a huge difference, even if there are moments along the way that make you wonder.

So what did I do? I practiced for about 15 minutes, took a break, and then did a little more. Not killing myself or beating myself up for lack of progress, just a little more practice so I could end on a positive note. I also realized that doing the same exercises to slower music might help, and that made a positive difference.

Slower practice is sometimes much harder than it looks, but for many moves doing things slower gives you time to make more adjustments.

When you’re not getting it, sometimes it’s OK to just chill out and not worry about it for today. Try to slow it down, do a shorter practice, but return to the exercises as soon as possible, with another short practice. If it’s working, keep going; if not, repeat the process of short practices over a few days. Sometimes you simply have to go do something different, unrelated to dance. (That's how I started this article.)

I’ve seen it over and over with others, and in my own practice; almost anybody can master any dance skill they decide they want, assuming they to put in enough effort. This concept is huge in social dancing, where perfection isn’t the game, but making a great connection with your partner is more important. You improve for yourself, and you can set any standard you desire, but that doesn’t mean you’ll always have great days practicing.

(Competitive dancing is another subject, requiring a stricter mindset, but similar concepts apply IF you are willing to take the time and effort.)

When you’re having your tough days, cut yourself some slack, try things slower or faster, cut your practice time and/or do some “fun” dancing, something you previously mastered that was hard in the beginning.

As a rule try to end your practices on a higher note even on your down days. Do something positive and fun just before you take a break. Everybody has occasional down periods; just don’t let them keep you down. Remember, that dirty word called “practice” doesn’t mean being miserable. We all have to find ways to work through the tougher materials, while keeping our overall attitude positive.

Let me know how you work through tougher periods or learn challenging materials.

The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it.
--Chinese Proverb

Classes vs. Privates - Part 3

I wrote about this subject last year but I want to revisit it again. See the previous article links at the bottom of this article.

I’m often asked if private lessons are better than group classes, especially since classes are much cheaper in terms of one-hour costs.

My answer is always take both if you can handle it. In classes instructor simply can’t focus on your specific issues, so they make generic suggestions and hope you fix yourself based on what you’re seeing and feeling. Of course, you can make huge improvements in a group class, but it’s easy to miss something that is obvious to great instructors. Here’s something that happened to me personally.

I’ve been taking a one-hour class from an amazing hip-hop dancer/instructor named Sho-Tyme once or twice a week, for a few months. (View video below to see him having fun.) Earlier this week I took a one-hour private lesson, and within the first 10 minutes he showed me a posture/head isolation exercise to correct something I was missing. When I get it right, it’s amazing how much better I look and feel.

He also gave me enough material for a couple months of practice. I already see a positive difference, although the real payoff will be down the road as I practice and grow into the concepts we practiced in private.


Sho-Tyme Having Fun

Unfortunately, I’ve been practicing some moves slightly wrong since the beginning of his classes, and now I’m starting the process of “unlearning” them and getting the right feel. I need some intense practice time to internalize the details and make it a part of my dancing. Intellectually I “get it”, but undoing my previous practice makes it more of a challenge that it should be.

In other words, in class, I thought it was right and getting better each week, but I missed something rather basic. Instead I was reinforcing an ugly habit every class, not to mention my own out of class practice time.

I was making positive progress in many areas. But because something foundational was weak, more class practice was also making some things worse and I was unaware of the issues.

In my case, I actually thought I was doing things right, but there is a specific motion I totally missed. In my head I was getting it better each week, but in hindsight I see it’s a case of “I didn’t know what I didn’t know.”

I suspect I eventually would have figured it out, but I hate to think of the work to unlearn/relearn if I continued to practice incorrectly for another three to six months or more. It's so easy to miss something that should be a part of your dancing, especially when you are working hard to improve.

If you’re taking a class from a great instructor, take some private lessons with them and ask them what they would suggest to upgrade your look and feel. Ask them to focus on foundational issues, rather than the cool move of the week. Those you can pick up in class if your foundation is strong. A few lessons can make a world of difference, because they are exclusively focused on your strengths and weaknesses.

It’s obvious to me I would have benefited from taking the lesson sooner, because then I’d be reinforcing the right moves practicing in class and on my own.

Once you find an instructor you like, I’d recommend you take some private lessons as soon as you can swing it. It makes a huge difference by giving you insights, concepts and details that often take months or more in a group class.

Even though I’ve known this concept for many years, it’s still humbling to see it in action myself. Hopefully you’ll avoid my mistake.

Previous articles on this topic:
Classes vs. Privates – Part 1
Classes vs. Privates – Part 2

For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life,
please press three.
--Alice Kahn

Back in the Saddle and Keeping Up Physical Therapy

This is mostly a personal entry…

It’s been an interesting month here and I’m back working on articles. You’ll see a new set over the near term.

It’s been extra insane around my house. Many of you know I have five kids and I’m probably busier than most, even during my “normal” periods. This last month has been off the charts in terms of external projects.

My oldest son graduated from college. I helped him move a few hours away to his first job. One of my daughters turned sixteen (big party… new back lawn and lots of house fix up for the big day) and my mother-in-law broke her hip, giving my wife hospital duties and me some additional driving duties for my four other kids (mother-in-law is recovering slowly).

While I’ve missed some dance classes, taking classes is about the only thing I did outside of work, home repair, and driving kids around. I didn’t go club dancing, but I’ve made some excellent dance progress overall. Sometimes I think taking a short break from club dancing is an excellent perspective builder, but I’ll detail that in another article.

I learned this technique earlier in life, when I started working out. If you need some of my time that overlaps one of my favorite classes, I may not tell you the explicit nature of my conflict. If you have to know why I can’t make your event, I often say I have “physical therapy” and most people respect that conflict. If they press I tell them, “I’m working on my balance and strength related to some previous activities.” I don’t provide any additional details and it works great.

If I say, “I’m going to a dance class”, they act like that can’t be important, but I disagree. I make it a point to keep a few classes as “appointments for myself” and unless someone is dying, I rarely miss them. A couple days a week I avoid business meetings late in the day so I can make a 5:30pm class that really challenges me. I treat it as personal therapy and it makes me stronger and better at almost everything else I do, and I hate to miss it.

I make my living at the computer (I solve business problems all day) and being physically healthy improves my thinking ability. Not only do I love dancing, but I enjoy the challenge of improving my physical and mental abilities, and good dance classes fit that bill.

Being older than many dancers, I know how tough it can be shoehorning a new passion into your already busy life. Sometimes I laugh to myself when someone says they don’t have time to learn something new.

In my case I use the micro-practice concepts I’ve previously discussed, I practice in my car (head and shoulder isolations), do some mental training, and I still go to a set of classes, even when I’m extremely busy. If someone wants my class time, once I mention the physical therapy conflict, we generally find a different time. It’s not perfect, and occasionally I still miss some classes, but overall it helps me keep some control in an extremely hectic schedule.

Let me know what you do to keep your dance education moving, even when things are crazy.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to take the one I've never tried before.
--Mae West