Warning: Plug Alert!
If you're attending the New Years Salsa Mambo Festival in Palm Springs, please join me for my music classes on Thurday (11 am) and Saturday (see schedule at event). We'll have a great time exploring how the music works and relating it to your dancing. Everybody is welcome.
I'm also teaching with Edie the Salsa Freak in most of her classes.
If you're one of my closest 3,000 friends from Facebook or MySpace, please say hello. Occasionally I can't relate the little three inch photos with a live person all glammed up, so introduce yourself and remind me of our connection.
Don't be shy! Ask me to dance, say hello in the halls, take me to lunch, join me in the workshops (mine and others), ask me questions, buy me expensive gifts (hint: I love dark chocolate), and practice your "hello" with me (see previous articles). Gift cards and cash welcomed but not required. Sometimes I can be bought, but I'm not cheap.
I'm easy to spot because I'm bringing my gray hair with me...
See you at the event!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Getting the Most from Events & New Clubs
This is the season for going to salsa events, new clubs and trying new classes. I've written a few articles on this topic over the years, so I'll summarize here and reference the other articles toward the bottom.
Rule number one: Say "Hello", "Hi", "Nice to Meet You", or "Wow... you look great" to everyone you see. If you ignore the rest of this article, you have the major point. Now practice it over and over. I'm also assuming your dancing is getting better over time if you're a newer dancer.
After dancing multiple years, I find it interesting how much I get turned down at a new club. I avoid taking it personal, and politely move on. It simply goes with the territory if you're a little older, have a few grey hairs, are very white and/or otherwise a little outside the norm for your local scene.
I'm not complaining, because it always turns around once they figure out I'm not their worst nightmare lead, even if that was their first impression. They remember me and I get asked to dance enough to know I'm making progress. The experience has taught me a few things along the way and I suspect you'll find some interesting points for your situation.
When you find yourself at a new club, keep the following in mind:
You can apply the concepts to a new club or one where you're not dancing as much as you like.
Again, I've wrote about this before, so rather than repeat all the advice, I'll recap a few highlights and then reference some articles that provide additional details.
Keep the following in mind at an event or club:
Say hello to the housekeeping staff, the waiters, the security guards, people in the elevators, the event check-in, and anybody who makes any eye contact with you while walking by. Do not stand in any line without saying something to the people around you, especially people you haven't meet before. Avoid only talking with existing friends, but expand the people who recognize you at every opportunity.
IT WILL CHANGE YOUR DANCE LIFE! (It also works in "real" life, but that's another subject.)
Saying hi/hello breaks the ice and is very powerful. People rarely turn down someone they recognize unless you're drunk, disrespectful, rough with others, or otherwise rude.
For more suggestions and details, check out the articles I wrote last year (below). There is significant overlap between new clubs and events, so some important points are repeated in the different articles, but they all relate to getting more dances and enjoying your experience.
Previous articles:
The Power of Greetings
Why Don't the Guys Ask Me? (obviously for the ladies)
Breaking into A Congress or Event (Part 1)
Breaking into a Congress or Event (Part 2)
Let me know what you're doing to make the most of new clubs or salsa events.
Rule number one: Say "Hello", "Hi", "Nice to Meet You", or "Wow... you look great" to everyone you see. If you ignore the rest of this article, you have the major point. Now practice it over and over. I'm also assuming your dancing is getting better over time if you're a newer dancer.
After dancing multiple years, I find it interesting how much I get turned down at a new club. I avoid taking it personal, and politely move on. It simply goes with the territory if you're a little older, have a few grey hairs, are very white and/or otherwise a little outside the norm for your local scene.
I'm not complaining, because it always turns around once they figure out I'm not their worst nightmare lead, even if that was their first impression. They remember me and I get asked to dance enough to know I'm making progress. The experience has taught me a few things along the way and I suspect you'll find some interesting points for your situation.
When you find yourself at a new club, keep the following in mind:
- Everybody gets a few turn-downs if they are unknown
- Be polite when you're turned down, but move on and ask someone else
- Keep asking until you get some good dances
- Dance with the instructors, since they rarely say no
- Ask someone again after a few weeks
- Smile when you are dancing, and find a way to have fun with every dance
- Don't take it personally when they say no, they just don't know you yet
- Attend regularly until enough people recognize you
You can apply the concepts to a new club or one where you're not dancing as much as you like.
Again, I've wrote about this before, so rather than repeat all the advice, I'll recap a few highlights and then reference some articles that provide additional details.
Keep the following in mind at an event or club:
- Most people dance with their salsa "friends" first when possible
- If you're unknown, don't be surprised if some people won't dance with you
- There are plenty of people who WILL dance with someone they don't know
- Don't stop asking, be a little bolder than normal and circulate around the room
- Say hello to EVERYBODY, all the time, inside and outside the events
- Be friendly and outgoing whether you're a beginner or an advanced dancer
- It's a social event for most, and friends trump many other considerations
- It's normal for ladies to be bolder at events, asking the guys if they're not getting the dances they want
- Attending the same event (or club) multiple times makes it much easier
Say hello to the housekeeping staff, the waiters, the security guards, people in the elevators, the event check-in, and anybody who makes any eye contact with you while walking by. Do not stand in any line without saying something to the people around you, especially people you haven't meet before. Avoid only talking with existing friends, but expand the people who recognize you at every opportunity.
IT WILL CHANGE YOUR DANCE LIFE! (It also works in "real" life, but that's another subject.)
Saying hi/hello breaks the ice and is very powerful. People rarely turn down someone they recognize unless you're drunk, disrespectful, rough with others, or otherwise rude.
For more suggestions and details, check out the articles I wrote last year (below). There is significant overlap between new clubs and events, so some important points are repeated in the different articles, but they all relate to getting more dances and enjoying your experience.
Previous articles:
The Power of Greetings
Why Don't the Guys Ask Me? (obviously for the ladies)
Breaking into A Congress or Event (Part 1)
Breaking into a Congress or Event (Part 2)
Let me know what you're doing to make the most of new clubs or salsa events.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Some Days are Better
Why are those other dancers better than me? Ever work on something for a while and wonder if you'll ever get it?
I have. Your "it" and mine will be different, but almost everybody has an area that seems like a huge hill to climb. Learning new dance moves tests our attitude, our learning skills, and provides a never ending set of positive challenges. It's an excellent vehicle for making you a better person. Occasionally it can turn my hair a little grayer, especially if I'm having a bad attitude attack.
I've had moments where it seems like I'll never get a move, a spin or a pattern. Worse, it seems like others around me find the same thing easy. I've had flickers in my brain of the dreaded "that will never work for me." I work hard to replace those thoughts with the, "At some point I'll smoke this thing and make it happen."
I rarely say it out loud because it doesn't last long, but a couple times a year I've seriously considered quitting, because I'll never master this thing called dance. (Nobody "masters" it!)
At other times, I've marveled at how much progress I've made in areas that seemed nearly impossible at the start. Once you have a few successes, you know it's worth the effort.
Nothing is as much fun as a dance where you make a connection with your partner. There is magic available on the dance floor and when you experience it yourself, you forget about the learning struggles and want to do it more.
Persistence is the major factor for progress, but other factors come into play.
In those down periods, it's my thinking that needs the upgrade and adjustments. Once I get my attitude back in a positive direction, things get better much faster.
Everybody has those down days, and there are few "secrets" I found over years of learning to play music. They directly apply to dancing, or actually any skill based learning. I use them to keep my head straight while practicing and learning, and hopefully one or two will help you.
Most sticking points require one of a few approaches. I'll list a few you should consider when your "moment" arrives:
If I'm really down on myself, a short nap often does the trick. As I mature, I find that strategy works much better than I expected, and have read studies about sleep integrating skill learning, and that's all the excuse I need. (Besides the fact that it works well for me!)
While I occasionally struggle to improve like everybody else, I've also had nights in the club where things are working extremely well and I'm proud of my progress. Good nights or not so good, pat yourself on the back for small successes, and keep on moving forward, even if it seems slower than others.
You'll always be refining your practice and searching for ways to improve your learning attitude. Dancing is a journey, and few will every "arrive" although anybody around a few years can be much better than average.
Over time things tend to work out very well. Often a minor attitude adjustment, more or different practice, some tips from experienced instructors, combined with some time will give you skills way beyond your current dreams.
Sure some days will be better than others, but soon your worst days will be better than your current strong days. All that assumes you continue learning and challenging yourself with a positive attitude. Being a little better each week adds up to large gains over time.
Let me know what you do to move past your sticking points. I'm sure some of you have some great strategies that will benefit others.
I have. Your "it" and mine will be different, but almost everybody has an area that seems like a huge hill to climb. Learning new dance moves tests our attitude, our learning skills, and provides a never ending set of positive challenges. It's an excellent vehicle for making you a better person. Occasionally it can turn my hair a little grayer, especially if I'm having a bad attitude attack.
I've had moments where it seems like I'll never get a move, a spin or a pattern. Worse, it seems like others around me find the same thing easy. I've had flickers in my brain of the dreaded "that will never work for me." I work hard to replace those thoughts with the, "At some point I'll smoke this thing and make it happen."
I rarely say it out loud because it doesn't last long, but a couple times a year I've seriously considered quitting, because I'll never master this thing called dance. (Nobody "masters" it!)
At other times, I've marveled at how much progress I've made in areas that seemed nearly impossible at the start. Once you have a few successes, you know it's worth the effort.
Nothing is as much fun as a dance where you make a connection with your partner. There is magic available on the dance floor and when you experience it yourself, you forget about the learning struggles and want to do it more.
Persistence is the major factor for progress, but other factors come into play.
In those down periods, it's my thinking that needs the upgrade and adjustments. Once I get my attitude back in a positive direction, things get better much faster.
Everybody has those down days, and there are few "secrets" I found over years of learning to play music. They directly apply to dancing, or actually any skill based learning. I use them to keep my head straight while practicing and learning, and hopefully one or two will help you.
Most sticking points require one of a few approaches. I'll list a few you should consider when your "moment" arrives:
- Don't quit
- Break it down into smaller chunks/exercises/moves
- Don't quit
- See if some foundational part of the move is weak, and work on it
- Don't quit
- Celebrate small, incremental improvements
- Don't quit
- Get input from quality instructors
- Don't quit
- Find something good, and pat yourself on your back
- Don't quit
- Do it slower!
- Take a nap or break, then try again
- Don't quit
- Try it again in a few days, weeks, months
- Don't quit
- Practice when you don't feel like it
- Don't quit
- Practice more, but in shorter sessions
- Don't quit
- Practice more, trying a few longer sessions
- Don't quit
If I'm really down on myself, a short nap often does the trick. As I mature, I find that strategy works much better than I expected, and have read studies about sleep integrating skill learning, and that's all the excuse I need. (Besides the fact that it works well for me!)
While I occasionally struggle to improve like everybody else, I've also had nights in the club where things are working extremely well and I'm proud of my progress. Good nights or not so good, pat yourself on the back for small successes, and keep on moving forward, even if it seems slower than others.
You'll always be refining your practice and searching for ways to improve your learning attitude. Dancing is a journey, and few will every "arrive" although anybody around a few years can be much better than average.
Over time things tend to work out very well. Often a minor attitude adjustment, more or different practice, some tips from experienced instructors, combined with some time will give you skills way beyond your current dreams.
Sure some days will be better than others, but soon your worst days will be better than your current strong days. All that assumes you continue learning and challenging yourself with a positive attitude. Being a little better each week adds up to large gains over time.
Let me know what you do to move past your sticking points. I'm sure some of you have some great strategies that will benefit others.
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
--Will Rogers
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