The Best Class of My Life

Tomorrow will be the best class I've ever taken!

How do I know?

It always is...

Because that's the decision I make on my drive to most classes. "This is my favorite class," and/or "This will be my best class" is what I'm saying to myself as I'm getting out of my car, grabbing my gym bag. Many times I say it out loud before getting out of the car or during my drive.

You should consider the same. Once you've decided to go to class, put 100% effort into doing your best, and purposely set your attitude in a positive direction. Nobody is forcing you or me to take classes; we choose to be there, so why not have a good attitude about it?

When I take some classes, I'm often the least skilled during some parts of the class. (That goes with the territory of starting dance in my 40's.) When we're doing ab work, balance, stretching or other conditioning, I may not be the best in the class, but I'm working toward 100% of my ability, trying to best my previous efforts. My mindset is, "Nobody is going to outwork me," especially on body weight conditioning, where I'm competing directly with myself.

Others may do it better than you today, but you'll consistently close the gap by working toward your maximum AND setting the right attitude toward growth.

Does that work 100% of the time? Of course not!

Some days are better than others, and I still have those occasional moments where I wonder what I was thinking when I started. Nothing works 100% of the time, but when my attitude is right, I do much better than on those days where I'm down on myself. You never want to start a class with the "I'm a loser" or "I can't do this..." attitude.

A great attitude won't overcome lack of practice or ignorance of the fundamentals, but a stronger attitude makes everything easier, even if "easier" doesn't mean "easy". (There's a big difference between those words!)

Who really cares how you measure against the others today? In my case, 95% of the people in classes started way down the road from me. If you and I continue and work toward constant refinements, we'll pass most people, except the others on the same continuous improvement road.

Once you make the decision to go, don't waste time on what you can't do or how you compare to the others in the room, but instead focus on what you can improve, compared to your last class.

Make up your mind that "today will be the best class of my life" and say it every time you go. Over time you'll be amazed at the results. It works for me. Please let me know what you're doing to keep your attitude growing in a positive direction.

Inside the ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down.
It's staying down that's wrong.
--Muhammad Ali

Am I Too Old To Dance?

Are you too old to dance?
How old is "too old to start"?
Do you have a friend who thinks he/she can't dance because it's too late?

My regular readers know I started dancing at age 43. One of my heroes in the LA salsa scene is in his seventies (Bob), and the ladies love dancing with him. Bob is taking tango classes and growing his dancing. Many guys my age or less--20 to 40 years younger than Bob--are watching on the sidelines, saying it's too late for them.

In the LA scene, Bob is a little like Madonna or Usher: a single name is all that's needed for most salsa people to know who you're talking about. Especially if you mention "an older gentleman" in the discussion. He started a few years before I did, but he was in his late 60's when he took his first salsa classes.

He certainly doesn't blend; totally bald with glasses, wearing painted jeans and not acting his age, he's rarely forgotten by anybody who sees him having a great time. I've seen him close lots of clubs when most of his peers had the Denny's senior early-bird dinner special and were in bed long before Bob hit the clubs.

The reality is the time to start is NOW, whatever your age is. If you're 16, 43 or over 80, go for it. Better to be learning to dance now than sitting on the sidelines and watching. It can be a slower start-up if you're older, but so what?

Check out the clip below for a little inspiration. I don't know this lady, but I can't help but be inspired and impressed by her attitude and skill. Anybody who has trained for a performance knows she put in significant effort to make this happen. Many things that are relatively easy when you're 30- or 40-something become much tougher as you cross into the senior years.


Show this clip to your friends who say it's too late for them. It's really simply a choice and some effort. This lady and Bob have decided to dance, and they decided to do enough to get above average. Now everybody respects them, but I'm sure they had their moments when it wasn't easy. They simply realized the fun outweighs the work, so they went for it.

That's their choice, and anybody else can do it too. Until you're using the walker full-time, keep on dancing and growing. If these other people can do it, so can you and your friends, no matter what their current age.

I want my husband to take me in his arms and whisper those three little words that all women love to hear:
"You were right."
--Kelly Smith

Interesting Policies at Dance Studios: What Am I Missing?

Is it just me or do some dance studios think they are special? I must be missing something because many have policies that don't make sense to me.

I'm early at a new studio and I'm reading the stuff on the wall. Lots of glossy promotional materials, the list of classes, events, why they are the best place on the planet for dance instruction, instructor photos (photoshopped to remove grey hair), etc.

I run across the "Studio Policies" with the rules for their classes. You know:

• No gum chewing
• No food or drinks (except water)
• No insulting other students
• No powder on the floor
• No dancing with scissors (running is fine)
• Wear appropriate clothing (especially in pole dancing classes)
• We're not responsible if you have a heart attack or fall in love with other students
• Inside the studio there is no shooting or stabbing allowed (take it outside before discharging firearms)

All the standard stuff you would expect in LA, nothing surprising.

Then I hit the section at the bottom and I'm shaking my head.

Attendance Policies:

• It's important you show up on time.
• If 2 or less people are there at the beginning of class, class is canceled.
• If 3 or 4 people are there at the beginning, class is half the original time, students pay the full rate.
• If 5 or more are there at the beginning, classes run full length, normal prices.

At another studio they have this line:

• Studio reserves the right to cancel any class with less than 10 students.
  

Apparently it's my responsibility to be sure other people show up for class. Just because I drive 35 minutes, if I'm the only stupid one attending, they are canceling class. I guess the instructor and studio would rather do nothing for an hour, rather than teach me. If they knew me personally, maybe I could see that choice, but I'm just a another student at that point (and very unhappy if they cancel).

I really love the "pay full price for half the class" concept, if less than 5 people show up.

As a totally selfish individual, I love when I go to a class and only a few others show up. I almost get a private lesson for the price of a studio class. I get lots of attention, and the instructors tend to speed it up or slow it down based on the students. These are great classes for me and I recommended the instructor's class to others if they do a good job.

It's clear to me that if the class doesn't develop a reasonable following, it will be canceled. Most studios need 5-15 students per class to break even on expenses, so I know the 3 person class can't last for very long. If I like the class, I will tell others about it.

On the other hand, it's not my fault others didn't show up. I realize the studio can't look the other way every time. If the class is usually larger and it's slow one day, then it's a bonus for me. Canceling a class which is normally full seems inappropriate to me, since I made the drive and the effort.

BTW - When I teach, I enjoy the energy of larger classes but I like the small groups too. If there is poor weather, a new startup class, or there hasn't been enough publicity to attract students, I teach a complete class if one person shows up. I'm there already, the student is taking their valuable time to attend, and it's not their fault others didn't make it. If only one person shows up every week, I may cancel future classes.

Maybe some studio owners/instructors will post some comments to clarify the issues for us (you can be anonymous if you choose). I'm curious as to why the students who make the effort to attend should suffer if others don't attend. I'm guessing the studio has to pay the instructor the same amount for 5 students as for 25 students, so if they cancel or cut the class in half, maybe they don't pay the instructor the normal amounts.

Seems like short-term thinking to me. I certainly am not going to go to a studio more than once that cancels classes because only a few people show up. I'm hoping someone can tell me what I'm missing, because those policies just don't make sense to me.

If they post a class schedule, and I attend, I would expect them to teach me. What about you?

I took up meditation.
I like to have an espresso first just to make it more challenging.
--Betsy Salkind

The Best of Unlikely Salsero: Part 1

I talk with a lot of people, and get a regular stream of e-mails from readers. I'm forever humbled and thankful so many people send me article ideas and/or discuss their take on my thoughts.

I still get a ton of questions and suggestions and realize "Hey, I wrote an article on that last year..." Of course, they've never read THAT article, and I hate to keep saying "Yea... I wrote an article on that about 15 months ago." That annoys the heck out of my friends, so I avoid that most of the time.

My Mom can't understand why you don't simply go back to the "Articles By Month" heading on the left side, and read EVERY article since I started. She thinks it's a perfect solution; I'm thinking maybe that's not practical for every single reader (but maybe you're up for it).

I'm not surprised one or two people haven't read every word, since I'm closing in on 150 articles to date. I have over 30 in draft/outline form in the background. At least half of my current audience wasn't around when I started this blog a couple years ago, so they have a good excuse.

As the articles grow, it's harder for people to find things from the past. (BTW - I'm always looking to provide more access to the previous articles, so use the comments link below to let me know if you have ideas.)

Every few weeks I'll highlight a few articles which I like and/or have been popular in the past. My theory is starting with two or three articles makes the most sense. Click on the titles below to go directly to the articles.

The Best of Unlikely Salsero: Part 1

Unaware Club for Men
Some of us guys are simply clueless, and the psychologists are now telling us things that are obvious if you've danced a while (or are female).

Darned Adults: Music Too Loud
As a rule, I always wear ear plugs while dancing, and they are always with me while taking dance classes (I use them when appropriate.) People often ask me about mine, since they are custom fit and not real obvious. This article (and the companion) tell you everything you should know about protecting your hearing.

Practice Space And Spousal Upgrades
With a little creative thinking, anybody can have a practice space right in their home, condo or apartment. You probably have more options than you've been considering.

Again, I look forward to hearing your feedback via the comments link below. Feel free to send me private mail if appropriate. (DonBaarns AT hotmail.com)

I had general anesthesia. That's so weird. You go to sleep in one room, and then you wake up four hours later in a totally different room. Just like college.
-- Ross Shafer

Better Dancer: More Peer Critics

Do you have someone talking down your dancing?
They seemed so nice, but now they're saying unkind things about you.

You probably don't deserve it, but it will happen if you're improving.

Over a year ago I wrote an articled titled "Better Dancer: More Partner Lying." It outlines the fact that as you improve, you'll get less constructive feedback from partners. They may tell you your strengths, but they avoid saying anything about your weaknesses. Overall that's a great thing, although it can leave you blind to the areas you could easily improve. (Check out the article for details.)

Your peers can be a different story. The more you grow and the faster it happens, the more someone won't like part of your dancing, your attitude or your hair style. If you don't have any critics yet, you probably aren't growing or they're just talking behind your back.

The strongest dancers get the most praise and the most criticism. If you start getting more attention, some will feel threatened, jealous or sick to their stomach because they thought they'd always be better than you. If you're seriously working harder than others, you'll pass them in time. If you grow quickly, you'll gather a small subset saying harsh things about you, whether you deserve it or not.

My advice: Ignore most critics, keep on going, but don't get a big head about your progress. Be nice to everybody possible, and let the critics say what they will. A few people will never be happy with you, especially as you grow into the above average group.

In other words, take it as a badge of honor if you have a few critics. It means you're strong enough that somebody is paying attention.

Sometimes you should check with someone you trust in the scene. Ask them if the critics actually have some decent feedback you can use, but discard the rest. You certainly want to verify you're not blind to issues you could address, but most of the time it's just noise you don't need. It's just like high school all over again, with adult drama.

Social dancing is a great vehicle for improving yourself. Part of that growth includes developing a thicker skin in terms of criticism. Don't expect your improvements to make everybody happy, but you'll win if you keep your head straight and keep moving forward.

There's no reason to be a snob, because even if you are growing faster than others, we all have plenty of room to grow. Find a couple mentors you can trust to tell you the truth, but otherwise ignore the few critics and keep on growing. If you don't have anybody saying something negative about you, you're probably not growing toward your potential.

I know a man who thinks a marriage is a fifty-fifty proposition,
which convinces us that he doesn't understand women or percentages.
--Henny Youngman