Comments on The Unlikely Salsero - Don Baarns: Ugly Guy, Beautiful Women: Salsa Parallels

Lets change the mind set of dancers. I watch peopl...

2008-08-13T17:28:14.433-07:00

Lets change the mind set of dancers. I watch people dance all the time. its the ones that are dancing together that inspire me. I think there should be a room for those who want to feed their ego. Another room where ego needs to kicked into touch. When you are dancing from the heart, my god how special the listening is.

Thanks for the clarification. I suspect we are clo...

2008-08-12T15:19:12.836-07:00

Thanks for the clarification. I suspect we are close.

If it's all about me at the time of the dance, I'm missing it and we totally agree on that point.

It may be the way we define "ego" and it's application to the situation.

I love that you brought it up, because I'm thinking about it and how it applies.

Behind the scene's I've started an article with the working title of "Ego: The Best and Worst of Men" (don't hold me to that title...)

Your insights are helpful and appreciated!

Don

I find if i am feeding my ego then i might aswell ...

2008-08-12T14:34:14.675-07:00

I find if i am feeding my ego then i might aswell be dancing alone. Feeding my ego takes alot of thinking about me. Dancing from the heart is a place of harmony. It can be done the fusion of two people has its place in salsa.

I totally agree complex moves don't make a great d...

2008-08-12T12:09:00.932-07:00

I totally agree complex moves don't make a great dance. It depends on the context, the partner and the music.

I'm not against complex or flashy moves, it depends on how they are done and how they fit the moment.

As for the ego thing, I'm not sure I agree. I'm thinking about it and will probably write an article with my thoughts on that one.

As I've said before, I appreciate feedback and comments, even if we have minor disagreements.

Don

Great moves dont lead to a dream dance. I was told...

2008-08-11T16:54:36.438-07:00

Great moves dont lead to a dream dance. I was told one time that a lady can tell a man how he will treat her outside of the dance during the dance. This also applies visa versa. There is no place for ego when two becomes one.

Joe,You and I are on the same page. In the clip I ...

2008-08-08T09:16:36.198-07:00

Joe,

You and I are on the same page. In the clip I found with Cristian, he is not exactly shy, or backing down. He is showing he can dance and he's not afraid to show off his skills.

At the same time, he doesn't constantly try to top her and it doesn't look like a contest to me.

I have nothing against a guy showing off his best stuff, it's only when it's at the expense of his partner.

And you are totally right. Some guys who lead poorly but have developed some very aggressive, "look at me" styles do attract some women.

My theory is they would attract even more women if they used their skills in context of their partner and the music.

I respect guys who put in the effort to develop complex skills and I see nothing wrong with showcasing them at points.

BTW - I appreciate the feedback! It's nice to have someone clarify my points and/or disagree. Your comments make me think.

It's easy to write something that reads black and white when it should be gray.

There is also plenty of room for discussion on these points and your input makes the post better!

Your feedback is always welcomed.

Any other thoughts?

Its a very different thing dancing to look good an...

2008-08-08T07:45:48.597-07:00

Its a very different thing dancing to look good and dancing to make it feel good. Sometimes these objectives can conflict, but there is a place for both. We all dance differently when we know folks are watching. There are some very good (usually male) dancers who clearly love showing off - they look good and they know they look good. For some guys, with big egos, this seems to be a major reason for dancing and if they were to be shunned, the world would be a poorer place without them. Strangely though, the girls seem to tolerate them and even queue-up to dance with them. Maybe because these guys can lead extremely well - when they choose too - maybe because the girls get to bask in the reflected glory or maybe its just the old animal attractiveness of men with big egos - however badly they treat their women. I think the sight of a guy with a big ego showing off on the dance floor is an ugly one - but I'm not a girl.

Different things happen in different dances too - depending on your mood, the music, the vibe you have with your partner and many things. Maybe the guy you cite had some devilment in him that night to challenge the girl to a duel - maybe there was some history there, who knows.

That said, I do completely agree with you. I think it is a crime to try to up-stage the girl, but there is room for different attitudes on the dance floor - and we can all choose who we dance with.