Comments on The Unlikely Salsero - Don Baarns: Friends Don't Let Friends Dance Big

I suspect that depends on the dynamics of the situ...

2007-06-13T10:56:00.000-07:00

I suspect that depends on the dynamics of the situation. Being a guy I can't totally put myself in her shoes.

For one thing, if the guy doesn't pay any attention to the space around him, I doubt anything she says will make a difference. He's already too into himself. (If he didn't notice he danced her into others, I doubt he would pay attention to her AFTER the dance.)

In the beginning, most women put up with whatever happens, thinking that is the way it is. I suspect a more mature, stronger follow would have walked off the floor. (They should, if they are stronger they will have lots of choices for partners.)

The format of the dance puts the burden on the guys around to influence other guys directly, with the ladies mostly supporting by saying "no thank-you".

I'd love to hear what the ladies find as the most effective strategy for this situation.

Awareness among the men is critical, as I may be blind to things that are obvious to others. That's where having real friends can help.

As the follow, other than severe social conditioni...

2007-06-13T01:09:00.000-07:00

As the follow, other than severe social conditioning or laziness, is there any reason she didn't say to her lead "You know you danced into 2 or 3 other couples on the floor, right?"

I agree. IF you can get their attention and...

2007-05-10T10:25:00.000-07:00

I agree. IF you can get their attention and if they respond to hints/looks, then that is fine. I start nice and if they ignore me occasionally I've gone on the offensive and slowly backed my rear end into their space, making sure he knows if he wants to take obnoxious space, I'll return the favor. But it's a silly game and you and I shouldn't have to do that sort of thing. Unfortuately, the type of guys who are inconsiderate will read this and assume we are not talking about them.

Does anybody else have some strategies they use for these types of leads?

I totally agree with u, Don. It is a very importa...

2007-05-10T09:48:00.000-07:00

I totally agree with u, Don. It is a very important part of the dance floor etiquette. If I happened to dance with "ego maniacs" I as a follow would use my "tricks"- I would slow down a bit, start looking around at other couples that I am getting bumped to b/c of his careless lead and just use my facial expressions to show him that we need to respect others' dance spots.
If this doesn't help - I would smile and whisper- can we be more carefull so I wan't get killed on the dance floor? Ususally it helps- but sometimes- it is hard - there are some " clueless idiots" out there.