Comments on The Unlikely Salsero - Don Baarns: Three "Above Average" Secrets For New Guys

You are right, sometimes the ratios work for or ag...

2008-10-14T15:44:00.000-07:00

You are right, sometimes the ratios work for or against you, and how many people you already know is also a factor.

There are a set of ladies who have had bad experiences with new dancers, so they tend to wait until you've been around a while before they dance with you.

If you're still around in 3 months, they are highly likely to say yes. If they have never seen you before, they may not.

There are lots of factors, but many of them tip the odds in your favor as you get a little stronger.

Another secret for guys who are past the beginner'...

2008-10-14T13:27:00.000-07:00

Another secret for guys who are past the beginner's hell stage, but still wonder why sometimes they have great nights and other times have a rough time: Look at the numbers.

If there are more men than women present, the women can get rather picky, and they'll choose to dance with their friends, or the top leads, or maybe just the best-looking guys. If I'm at such a place, and my dance-buddies aren't there, I can have a pretty difficult time, even if (I think...) I'm among the better leads there.

With the situation reversed, you may not get a chance to rest.:-)

You are right, the details of leading are probably...

2008-10-10T09:17:00.000-07:00

You are right, the details of leading are probably more important than looking great, especially in the early stages. Timing is critical as the follows get better. They know what it feels like with the guys who are with the music.

I'm not a fan of asking most of my partners to provide feedback. A few are qualified to assist, but many followers will tell me I'm better than I am and ignore areas I could improve. (They are simply too nice.)

Most of the time I had to get with an instructor to get the feedback required to grow and refine my lead. I'm sure there are other options, but that worked well for me.

Additionally, the stronger you get, the less likely you are to hear anything negative about your lead, even if there are a few obvious issues that could be fixed.

I wrote a article over a year ago outlining my thoughts on that concept: Better Dancer: More Partner Lying

The dance floor does look daunting for a beginner ...

2008-10-10T07:35:00.000-07:00

The dance floor does look daunting for a beginner - but don't be put off - to the untrained eye a lot of dancers look much better than they really are. The real keys to getting into the top 50% are attending to good timing and learning to lead well. I recommend asking your partners to point out if you are off time and to tell you how your lead is doing and how you can improve it. Many will be happy to tell you and it will improve you so much. What matters is what the girl feels - and she is the best person to tell you. When I started I had some friends who really used to nag me - but I thank them now.

As you mature, you start seeing the dance scene wi...

2008-10-09T13:52:00.000-07:00

As you mature, you start seeing the dance scene with different eyes. And once you get to that "above average" range, you realize you could get much higher if you choose to put in the effort.

The off-time guys were always something I noticed from the start. Because I knew very little, I made a point to dance with follows immediately after someone who was off time.

I may not have known much, but I used my strength. After dancing with someone off-time, they were happier with me.

Of course, lots of guys would follow me, knowing they would smoke me in terms of patterns and dancing, so it goes both ways.

Funny thing about #2: I used to think there were ...

2008-10-09T13:44:00.000-07:00

Funny thing about #2: I used to think there were loads of advanced leads that I would never catch up with. But once I reached a certain level (maybe that 50% one), and got to know more women, they pointed out a couple things:
1. Some of those guys have just one complex combination that they do over and over. It looks good, but they get bored dancing with them.
2. Other guys with lots of moves are constantly off-time.

'Course, it makes me wonder what they're saying about me when I'm not around.:-)